Tea
VS
Soapy( vs Jar of Mayo)
VS
Soapy( vs Jar of Mayo)
It was during an average morning walk that I encountered Soapy-nei, searching our garage for the blue crowbar that lay all but 3 inches away from her left hand. Curious, I dawned my bush costume and began to watch her from the shadows. She had been trying to open a jar of mayonnaise, it seemed.
I continued to watch her struggle until a question popped into my mind. My geometry teacher had recently assigned us homework, and I should probably do it before she contacts my parents. I was about to take off the costume and go work, when my stupid, pathetic excuse of a sister broke the jar and coated me with the nasty white substance that is mayonnaise(Get your head out of the gutter, guys!). Infuriated, I persisted with my vigil.
~
By this time I had grown quite bored of spying, so I decided to have a little tea party with some of the leaves that had missed the glue when I made the costume. They played along so nicely that I almost missed Soapy leaving to go to the store. What an annoying girl, she was. Now I had to actually walk!
I had tripped over a branch in my costume and fallen on my face during the minute-and-a-half walk to the store, and I think that soapy had spotted me at that time. She must not have thought much of it, because she kept walking. We entered the store, and some texting girl revealed her phone to us. The text she was typing read as follows:
'this chic w/ weird hair came in... Hope she stayz away from the veggiez sectionz lol'
Soap must have misread it, because she started mumbling about being awesome.
Many other things happened in the store, but we are not yet at our climax!
~
As soapy went to leave, she definitely noticed the zipper that I was adjusting and yanked it down like the pervert she must be. Not that I have any proof since I was fully clothed underneath, but she yanked a zipper so she must be a pervert. I was caught red-handed in the act of tea-partying. I hadn't the nerve to follow her back.
Then I heard the explosion.
I went running, hoping that Soapy had met her fate, but instead, I found her eating a sandwich. Depressed, I went back into my room and started drawing.
All the while, I had wondered how I accomplished this while also maintaining a steady pace during my average morning walk.
