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The Problem between the Two...or rather 3?

Problem : There is a love...triangle. S is single J and C are together. S and J are best friends. S likes J. J acts like she likes S, but is constantly running to C. S is upset. J gets upset because she feels like she doesn't deserve S. C is mad at the two.

My thinking : The problem revolves around Jess and Shadman. The two are best friends and are really close, but the thing is...they are JUST best friends. You can't expect anything more. If the two are dating other people, they shouldn't be this clingy to each other but they are. Why? I believe it's slightly complicated.

My honest thoughts?
I think Shadman likes Jess way more than just "best friends" even if he denies it. Why? He has other girl friends but goes to her first and the most. You only go to the one you care most for first, meaning he cares most about Jess, meaning he LIKES her more than Lisa. Another proof, he's upset when Jess ditches him for her boyfriend. She shouldn't ditch one but it's natural for on to go to their lover. He shouldn't be THAT much upset. It's proof that he likes her. (This argument continues later.)

JESS ANALYSIS
Secondly, Jess is a huge problem. I'm sorry to say this but I think she just wants all the attention. I'm sorry, I could be wrong since I never met the girl but she does sound like that. It's bad but it's natural. Who wouldn't want all the attention from guys? The reason I say this is because I do the exact same thing as her. I really do. What she is doing is that she's playing with two guys. She probably likes her boyfriend more but she likes the attention she's getting from Shadman, her BFF. She's WRONG too. THEY ARE JUST "BEST FRIENDS" AKA "FRIENDS". She kissed him, hugs him, clings to him, cries to him, etc. NO. You can't do that. She is crossing the friendship boundary. She is. She knows what she's doing, she can't hide it from a fellow girl. She knows that Shadman has a special spot for her. And she takes advantage of it. It sounds like she never goes w/o attention. The boyfriend gives her attention and then when she isn't getting attention from him, she gets it from Shadman. And she likes that. It's comfortable. You're never alone. You're always loved. BUT THAT'S BAD. I know. I did that. But I stopped. And after her bf gets mad, she runs to Shadman. But when Shadman gets upset, she sends a text where she cries and bitches about she's not good enough for him. I DID THE EXACT SAME THING BEFORE, NO FREAKING LIE. I know that and regretted it. I learned. She DOES feel bad but by doing that, she's also getting attention again. She's dragging him back when he began to pull away. She keeps it at a nice distance, friendly, flirty but not boyfriends. Keep the guy wanting her. I DID THAT. She's a key problem.

SHADMAN'S ANALYSIS
Next is Shadman. HE LIKES HER. He can try to deny it but it's obvious. Sure, one can get upset when another friend ditches their plans for another and she shouldn't have done that. She was wrong to do that. But the fact that he's THIS much upset means he likes her a lot. If it was another girl friend who ditched him for her boyfriend, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be as pissed. Maybe angry, but not as pissed.

I'll say this: He can't be upset with Jess. She's staying by her bf. That's good, that's what she's suppose to do. If she had gone with him, of course the bf would get mad. He'd feel insecure.

But Shadman probably doesn't understand this. He'll probably say that it's because the two are best friends. The two are just hanging out one day for their 1 year anniversary. But they can't understand. Or, he can't. Why? Because he's not in a relationship with the one he truly, truly likes. Why? Because the one he likes is with another guy.

CHRIS'S SIDE
Chris is angry because his girlfriend keeps flirting with another guy, but instead of blaming the girl, he blames the guy. Why? Most likely, Chris likes Jess a lot. Knowing this, he can't really place the blame on her because she'll cry. And if she cries, who will she go to? SHADMAN. He doesn't want that. He doesn't want his girl to be driven in the arms of his rival. SO, he blames Shadman.

Shadman is angry. It's understandable. He's angry at Chris who took it too far with the rumors and such. Understandable. He's angry at Chris for not letting her go out with him? Shadman has to understand that Jess is currently Chris's girl. Chris, of course wouldn't want the two to hang out. Why? Chris is jealous and for a good reason too. Jess gets all flirty with Shadman and Shadman obviously likes Jess. Who wouldn't be jealous of that?

SCENARIO : Shadman and Jess are together. Chris and Lisa are just "best friends" of theirs. If Jess kept flirting with Chris, wouldn't Shadman feel insecure? If Jess kissed Chris on the cheek, wouldn't he get angry? Even if he didn't know, if there was an obvious chemistry between Chris and Jess, wouldn't he get jealous? Sure, he may not take it as far as insulting Chris to fellow friends but he would be pretty peeved. He'd be insecure and fear that his girl likes another guy.

SOLUTION?
Here's what I think needs to be done, which probably won't be.

Jess : She's the main problem. She needs to figure out her feelings, does she like CHRIS OR SHADMAN? Yes, it's possible to like two people. Possible to have equal feelings for two. But she has to let one go. She needs to stop playing with them, stop flirting and kissing others who ARE NOT her boyfriend. (Imagine if he did the same s**t as her. She'd ******** cry.) STOP CROSSING THE FRIENDSHIP BOUNDARY. She sounds like she likes Chris and is USING Shadman. Yes, I said it, she's using him for comfort. If she read this, she'd probably cry and say that she needs to go away from him. STOP RIGHT THERE. That's freaking running away. That's a coward way out. If she did that, she's really bad. She'd just be hurting everyone and trying to grab attention (even if she denies this part). Jess and Shadman can solve this drama, easily. She just needs to stop flirting with Shadman, needs to stop kissing, stop giving mixed signals which she knows she's doing which is why she cries and texts him that she's not good enough. She knows and regrets. Instead of running from what she did, she just needs to stop. The two can still hang out, the two can still hug, the two can still be the same, but they need to stop flirting. She can go to Shadman to cry on, but she can't lead him on. STOP. OKAY? STOP. Stay loyal. She should think to herself: "If my boyfriend was doing this to another girl, would I be okay with it?" If she thinks no, then don't do it.

If she likes Shadman more, break up with Chris. Stop hurting that guy. Go with Shadman. Sure, Chris may feel hurt at first which you don't want to do but by staying and flirting with Shadman, she's only hurting them both. Chris WILL be able to move on, and the three will be happier that way.

SHE SHOULD NOT JUST BREAK CONTACT WITH BOTH OF THEM. THAT SOLVES NOTHING. THAT ONLY CAUSES THE TWO GUYS TO BLAME EACH OTHER, THE TWO WILL KEEP FIGHTING, AND EVERYONE WILL BE HURT. EVERYONE. THIS SOLVES NOTHING. SHE MUST PICK ONE OR THE OTHER. OR SHE CAN BREAK UP WITH CHRIS AND STAY FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE WITH A NICE EXPLANATION SUCH AS, "I'M NOT READY FOR RELATIONSHIPS". DON'T BREAK OFF ALL CONTACT. DON'T ACT DISTANT UNLESS YOU WANT THINGS WORSE.

Shadman, I feel bad for the poor fellow. This drama is because of her flirts and his feelings for her. He likes her but...she's taken. She's only his best friend. ONLY. She's not his girlfriend so sadly, he can't be upset when her boyfriend doesn't want his girl hanging with another guy. ANYONE ELSE WOULD FEEL THE SAME. A guy who allowed that is a very nice, rare guy. And as I've already said, the boyfriend feels insecure and has every right to.

He can be angry at Chris for rumours. He can be mad for the lies. He can be mad at anything besides hanging out with Jess. Jess needs to stop flirting, then the two can hang out. If she stopped and Chris is still mad, then that's when it's Chris's fault. Why won't he let her go? Because he can't trust Jess. And he has reasons to. But if/when she stops, he shouldn't be so clingy anymore. He'll have to trust her. If she has proven herself faithful and capable of hanging out with Shadman without giving out mixed signals, yet Chris still gets angry, THEN Jess and Shadman should be angry at Chris. You know, she can't really use the excuse "my boyfriend won't let me" because she can physically do whatever the hell she wants. She's not in a cage. "My boyfriend will get mad at me", again OF COURSE HE WOULD.

Shadman actually should feel angry at his bestie. The two sounds like wonderful together, really, really cute. They keep each other happy and I totally ship them together. But she's using him. Shadman knows this. Get angry at her. She's flirting with him. Confront her. "Hey Jess. What's with all this? Do you like me or what? No excuses. No hiding. Yes or no?"

See how it solves things?
1. Jess stops flirting and shows she does like Chris = Chris trusts her more = Shadman and her can hang out.
(If Chris has a problem after she shows her love, THEN the two should get angry at Chris for not trusting them. Relationships need trust, which J + C currently don't for reasonable reasons.)
2. Jess admits she likes Shadman more = Break up with Chris = Chris moves on (but will hate and be angry for a while) = Jess and Shadman together = Happy, no drama.

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