Been a long time since I last wrote here. Like over a year, oops.
I decided to trade my mini angel wings for mini nitemare wings, something I never though I'd do in the past. I used to be so into the angelic, white and pink, cutesy-themes and never considered myself a darker type of person. Thing is, now I do. Its been like 9 years since I started out on here, and I'm not the same person I used to be at all. I've grown up alot and been through alot of really bad stuff. One of my friends told me in the past that they liked me because I was good at seeing the positive side of bad situations. I know I've lost that part of me. Now everywhere I look I only see pain and negative outcomes.
I don't think I hate who I have become though. It's not like I want to spend the next 9 years being walked all over and floating around with my head in the clouds. I spent too many years running from reality. A few times I found what felt like an escape, but nothing ever lasted. I'm at the point now where I've stopped running and started facing growing up and that dreams will never be anything more then that.
In less dreary news, I'm still working on alchemy! Haha, been over a year now and I'm only lvl 6. I'm kind of thinking I will stop completely though. I adore the small pose of these angel wings. I'm doubtful I'll be happy sacrificing them for a larger set.
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Mariettia's Garden of Hope
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Mariettia
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*purrs and snuggles with her friends*
Love you all so much. <3
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Falcon Starlight Community Member 
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Regardless of what you wear, you'll always be who you truly are. I'm not saying you'll continue to escape from reality but just the same human being who will continue growing, developing and becoming a better person than before. As the saying goes, "Do not judge a book by its cover." In the past, I dressed my avatar in dark/evil themes many times and yet, I still remained very devout in reality and did generous things to my friends and to people in need (which an evil person normally wouldn't do). What people shouldn't forget is that we are in Gaia because we love being stylish for our enjoyment and relaxation, as a short break from our stressful everyday real life activities.
It's a great thing to wake up and face reality than to run from it. I did that long time ago in 2008 (which was the year I "quit" Gaia, going into a long hiatus and leaving behind everything). When I came back to Gaia, I wasn't very active any more. Instead, I logged in just to take a little break from my daily stresses.
As your friend, I would suggest you get over your addiction towards Alchemy. Ask yourself whether it is worth it. What do you expect out of it? Does it compensate or equal all the expenses you are putting into? To me, it wasn't worth a single penny that I could use to buy better things in reality, which would do a lot more towards sustaining my life than a pixelated rank for showing-off. This was why a year ago, I stated in your journal that I didn't bother leveling up my alchemy skill.
Take good care of yourself and keep doing your best! Even if outcomes aren't always good, at least you have given some good effort and shown your determination that you don't give up easily! That's the spirit that make others admire and commend you. ~hugs~ heart