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Tonight there were no dreams...

1/2/2014 , 7:42 a.m.

I had a sad dream of myself this time. I was standing on top of a hill watching the sunset go down. Strange it was, right when the sun had finally gone down a blue bird fell in front of me. When I had looked down to see it, I had gone into shock. ...a wooden needle was pierced from its bottom all the way through its head. ...It was suffering for it was still clinging for life, fluttering its wings crazily.

I wanted to help the bird. ...I just didn't know how.

Within a quick second, these two rocks sprouted out from the grass next to the bird. The one on the left said something like "Let it suffer with its knowledge of life until death. Then he'll go free on its own." Some s**t like that. But I do remember what to rock to my right had read "Kill it so it may be free of misery." After I had read the right rock, I blinked and a small yellow flower was on it. A small white flower was on the left rock.

It was crazy. Either way it was going to die. I didn't want to kill it, nor did I want to watch it suffer. I was to late to make a decision or do anything ... for the bird suddenly combusted.

Right when it did so, the rocks went back into the floor except for the white flower. Unconsciously I moved towards the flower and found that the left rock hadn't fully went down. The words were different this time. "Struggle of life doing things alone can lead to a depressing death if you struggle alone." It was reworded differently, but it was something like that. ...All I knew was that after reading it, I fell to my knees and cried no tears. Before I could even grab the flower, I woke up.

There was a lot of impact beneath that dream. So much to a point I wondered what would of happened if I just killed the bird.

Its like what my cousin had told me. There's always a hidden meaning when we have emotional dreams out of no where. Maybe its because I'm doing something selfish. Am I not helping someone in a time of need? ..can't tell. Better this dream than others. A dream of a man who couldn't help one struggling through life.

So weird.