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Too much dream...

1/4/2014 , 8:43

Whenever I feel confused or hurt by love, I honestly listen to Jill Scotts song (Come to light). Smooth jazz or soul music makes me feel free of thought. Like it's my personal therapist to listen to. ... there aren't any words that I need to say.

Tonights dream was a bit to much for me to remember when I woke up. I knew he was in there in some way. ... but it wasn't only just him. Everyone. Even though I can't remember the dream, I feel it by heart that it wasn't bad, but not comforting.

But for now, as I lye awake in my bed doing this; all I do is question. Jelousy?

I know I can't blame that girl, she probably wasn't thinking because of her jelousy. But to know if you're jealous, why would you say those things? Still, I can't blame you. Don't say sorry to me. There isn't a damn thing to be sorry about at this moment.

Love is complicated. The thing that sooths me of that very thought is listening to Jill's music. Her song tells a short story that we can all relate to. Tend to love Poetic things, people, songs, etc. I use to write a lot of poetic things to make me feel better. Then (lol) I would read them or show them to my friends Emma and Ariana. They would either be depressing, anger, love, or sadness. Writing those poems were the main reason why I had got a guitar, other than being like Miyavi. ... I know I still have my old folder with some of them in it. The rest online. Around the time I'm 17, I would like to go to that one Open mic poet house in L.A. . (With my friends of course)

Love, so confusing
Have to share it to everyone
..(heh) I'm tired of choosing

Why waste my breath, you should already know
They all act as if they're oblivious to that fact
Pleading! Just pleading to say! ... not show.

That's why I distance myself
Love is not always true if said
You show it like colors.

Red, purple, orange, blue
Color represents emtions
Like how your favorite color represents a lot about you.

Indigo is what I am
What that color represents?
Meditation, deep contemplation, wisdom
That's a bit me. I'm so stuck in the daze, deep in thought...

Love is to not be afraid
Don't coward, don't make it complicated.
Show your color instead of hiding in the cold, cold, cold shade.

Making poems is easy for me. I mostly do it when I'm in deep thought or confused. Then probably take a nap to dream about it. This one quote that I love its," If you miss me, remember that I stood there and waited till you prove that standing no longer was worth doing." I feel that quote.

I love good history, I just tend to hate the bad ones. I don't have to think of them.

I'll still be waiting for the day when someone can say and proove that they get me without having to have me explain things for them. "One" person understands. I still question "how?" But instead of doing that; I'm more than thankful. Maybe that's why I can't hate him. He can see through me like a cheat code manual (lmao!) That's why its a waste to try to be denial or lie.

That's about it for this morning. Who knows.