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A D A MLLF A U S T
S U I C I D A L YLLR O M A N T I CLLS C O U N D R A L
S U I C I D A L YLLR O M A N T I CLLS C O U N D R A L
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- Courting the moon was never easy.
Round and round and round and round. That's all a blade of grass knows. The sky above it and the dirt around it spins and spins, never ceasing, never slowing. All it knows is of a constant cycle of light melting into darkness and darkness into the warm morning and the warm morning into the cool evenings. It knows of hot summer days. It knows of the bitterest of winters. It knows the feeling of spring, the feeling of rebirth. It knows the feeling of death and sleep all at once gripping it to its very core. The blade of grass doesn't know much.
But, it does know of the moon.
There's a mysterious star in the sky. It is bigger and grander than all the others. She peeks her way, quite bashfully, over the horizon and dances up and up into the inky canvas. Her smile casts light down on the blade of grass. The light may not be able to warm it, but still the blade of grass find itself admiring the silver glow through the night and yearning for it when the wrathful sun charges into the morning, chasing away the stars and the blackness.
Sometimes, the moon disappears.
Like the world below her, she spins. Little by little her beautiful smile fades away until she is gone, leaving only an empty space, a vacant hole. But the blade of grass knows that she is there. She's just hiding. Over time, however, she comes back to the blade of grass and all it can do is look at her in awe and wait, knowing that it will be left alone once again.
The blade of grass admires the moon.
Does she even know it exists? She looks down upon the world and must see millions of little blades of grass. This one in particular didn't stand as tall as the others, but at the end of the day that was to its advantage. It often wonders why the moon hides away. Hot, fiery agony grips the blade to its roots at the thought of her never returning. What if one night she never comes back? What if she loses her way and she is lost in the darkness, forever? But the moon still returns after she vanishes, so the blade of grass can rest easy until she hides away again.
Round and round. Round and round.
That's all a blade of grass knows. Round and round.
Adam took a small sip from the honey-thick liquid in his wine glass. It cooled his throat as it dribbled down his gullet and into his stomach. Another sip. The tremor in his hands stopped. Another. The spinning world around him stopped. Everything stood in place. The rush of wind in his head ceased. Another. The ticking of the clock in the corner of the room wasn't so loud anymore. He downed the rest of the glass. The fire running through his stilled veins cooled. All was quiet. All was still.
He placed the glass down and ran a tongue along his moistened lips. His head rested on the top of the sofa. He looked to the ceiling. It was such a monotonous color. It was grey. It was bleak.
He turned over to look at his clenched fist. His nails dug into his skin. Don't do it, don't do this to yourself, don't, don't, it's over, it's all over, she's gone, don't do it, don't…
His fingers depressed and slowly opened one by one to reveal a silver chain wrapped around his fingers. Hanging from it was a black bead.
The room was black, the light inkling from the half-moon that hung from the sky casted long, livid shadows across the room. The silver light seemed to cast a fairy-like glow and everything seemed brighter. The shade to the room was open only a little. If he could Adam would close it. But he was stuck. He was sinking deeper and deeper into the cushions. If he could disappear into a state of purgatory he could. Maybe he would. He then looked to the stained wine glass in his hand. He placed it down next to him.
The moon's light danced through the room and revealed the livid, red stains rimming the glass.
Don't look, no, don't, no, no, no, no…
Adam's attention was drawn back to the bead resting against his pale palm. His other hand rested on the white bead around his throat. It felt heavy. The world around him was grey. It was bleak. He was lost. Misplaced.
The sounds of the manors life were none existent in Adam's little world. His eyes darted to the window. He saw a glimpse of the half-moon. His heart ached. Well, what was left of it ached. The bead in his hand felt heavy. Too heavy. He let his arm drop from the air to rest on his stomach.He was a half to a whole that will forever remain incomplete. He was lost. Adam closed his eyes and put the black bead around his neck, resting it next to its counterpart. His neck felt weighted.Finally he pushed himself off of the couch and stood up, walking to the window. He looked out on the desolate street where only one light flickered. No, no, don't, no…Adam couldn't help it. He thought of her as he looked to the moon in the sky. He felt like something was missing. He felt empty. Hollow. Lost. He hated these feelings. He hated how they invited themselves in and forgot to close the door. He hate them.
Adam licked his lips again. He tasted iron. He couldn't help but think of their awakening. "What choice do we have?" she had asked. They had a choice. They could have walked away. They could have found another solution. They could have done something else. But they didn't. Like the serpent the life running through the young, romantic couple's bodies coaxed them both. It tempted them. Just a bite, he had promised himself. Just enough so that he could stop the spinning. Stop the whirring in his ears in his veins in the world around him. Just enough to stop the tremors slowly creeping upon them both.
But one bite was all it took. His eyes had been open.
Before he knew it the girl was laying at his feet. White. Cold. Her mouth frozen in a scream. Where once a fire of compassion and love burned there were only embers slowly fading away until there was nothing but two dots of blackness on her perfect little face. Her lover fell shortly after she. He collapsed on top of her, barring her from the cool air of the night. Protecting her until an angel descends from heaven to take him and his beloved away.
Adam remembered their eyes. He remembered that the woman's, before burning out completely, reflected fear. Then the man's eyes met his. A moment was all it took to process the anger that slowly melted away as the fire in his eyes reflected that of his lovers. Anger and hate.
Adam's eyes lifted to meet those of Elena's. Her sunglasses had fallen off. As she bent down to retrieve them, Adam wiped his mouth on his hand. When he drew it back his gut lurched at what he saw. A stain. Almost like cherries. He remembered eating cherries. A long, long time ago.His eyes met Eve's again before she veiled them with plastic. He saw forgiveness.
"Let's go home…" she had said with a small, tight smile.
But they never did go home.
Adam closed the shade and walked back to the couch. He picked up an object that he never thought he'd touch again. He raised it to his mouth and closed his eyes. Running in circles. Running round and round. The world never ceased in its spinning. Round and round. He wanted it all to still. To stop. There was no moon in the ceiling above him. It was grey. It was bleak.
His finger rested on the trigger. One…
The beads around his throat where too heavy. Two…
Round and round. His life has been nothing but a series of cycles. The morning turns to night and the night turns to morning. The spring turns to summer. The autumn to winter. Round and round and round and round again. Never stopping. Never ceasing. Until now. Three…
But then, just as he is about to end it all, he heard the sorrowful soliloquy of a piano. The spinning world around him stopped, and was filled with nothing but music. Opening his eyes he inhaled sharply and let the music take over his world. Setting the weapon down he stood from his place and stepped bare foot toward the door, placing his ear to the old wood he heard the piano down stairs being played so elegantly. Closing his eyes he settled his mind from the constant circles he had been spinning in his head. Finally stepping from his room of solitude he stepped silently along the long hallway keeping him the furthest away from the others, he preferred it that way, peace and quiet. Adam locked his door behind him and appeared in the stairwell as the music got louder.
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xxxxxxLocation: Remington Manor -- His Room | Company: No one | occ: Hope this is good I kinda went dark with this, but I promise he wont be so gloomy in the future.
...if you alter or affect one, the other will be identically altered or once affected.
