Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

It's really difficult to keep things in perspective sometimes, but I know that I should do that.

It's easy to just say, 'people are out to get me,' or 'people are purposefully doing this to harm me, or 'people don't really care about me.'

But is that truly realistic?

When people treat me unfairly or they do things that hurt me, I don't want to think the worst of them. When someone hurts me, I generally blame it on myself, which is also something I shouldn't do haha. But after a while, I start shifting the blame on them, without a good reason. I usually reach for a reason to make myself feel better.

For example, if a friend stops talking to me as much, I think "Oh, they must be busy." But after a while, I think, "Wow, this person doesn't like me. They think I'm annoying. Maybe we aren't as good of friends as I thought."

The problematic thing about this is that... Well, I don't know for sure how this person feels. They could really be that busy and they don't have time to talk to people, or they view our friendship as something that is 'low maintenance,' and they're fine with talking with me periodically.

I generally jump to the conclusion that this person doesn't value me as much as I value them. And I can't do that because that's not fair to the other person. It's not very likely that person has suddenly gotten tired of me, if I didn't do anything to that person.

So I really need to think about what I think about friendships and when our dynamic changes, I need to reassess what is truly happening instead of me jumping to conclusions.

Regardless, the friend that I'm having trouble with... I get really frustrated with them. x____x We talked about it, and they said they're just busy or they're really bad at talking to people (which I sort of understand, I suppose...) I don't know. It still hurts..

I just hope they're telling the truth. :/

~Vanessa