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You know you look at yourself in the mirror and assess yourself. You tell yourself that you're attactive and ok looking. Turning and still looking. Sure, you may be a little well padded, but you're not disgustingly fat.

And then you take a video of yourself as if to send to your mate or to your friends. You view it, thinking all hunky dory, that you look fine and all. And then you actually view it..really look at it. And you look fat...your face is all messed up, you have bulges in places and the video picks up on very mark on your body. Well yeah..my mate was pleadng for me to send him the video and I deleted it, because I couldn;'t look at myself. Now all I can think of is, "fat and ugly" and can;t imagine what he sees in me.

I want to cry..maybe I will though it won;t make me feel better