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I get depressed somtimes and rate now what am i looking forword to? Well, im not really looking forword twords collage, I want to go so i can get a job that I want,i dont want to go just because and it's hard for me to look far enough ahead to make me realize that what I'm doing is worth it because it helps me in the long run sometimes the short goals seem overwelmingly easier and I tend to put the other ones on hold sometimes. What am I talking about, school and life and chores and whatever i need to do it is true i am a stupid guy that is probably a bit below normal, with a slightly above normal imagination and a great drive but lack of direction, if i onlly had direction I could motovate myslef because I would know what I was doing.
Sometimes I think that I can do anything, and in those times I do usually do something that I like, usually a drawing or something but sometimes other stuff. But it's usually dark and theirs nobody to do stuff with. So if bethany were with me we could leave in my car and go do something nice like swimming in the dark or something like that.
But I cant wait till we can just go out and do things whenever i want whenever and I'm kinda a night person and I hope we can go do some crazy things in the night, who knows what yet, but swimming seems like a good one that I would like. I dont know what i want to do for the seinor trip, maby just cruze down south where it's warm, seems like people can allways find something to do when theive got money.

I've got things I should be doing, english really maby other things too. But I'm doing this and talking to Bethany, I think I love her... alot. Well, g-night or g-morning whatever, she's messageing me now I'll have to cheak it out.