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I know many of you have seen this all before But I want to offer a place where you all can voice your opinion.


I recently recieved this in a pm.

"I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don't look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, big boobs, round booty, long legs, sexy lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Stop talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to hear them. In short... we need to grow up and stop acting like freakin retarded little boys, and love them for who they are not what we want them to be....."

girls who agree send this to your friends.
and to the few guys who have balls and agree also send


As you can see from above, its a simple chainmail but it gives off the wrong vibe and promotes a biased outlook on a issue that is not entirly the truth at all. I would like to give my perspective on this issue so we can better understand both sides of the argument;


"See the problem is that this steriotype is so powerfull that in
highschool. The popular guys who somehow get the girls make it look
like this is the norm. So it's pretty much a two way street in that
the girls themselves have to realise that their own desires for
popularity or material wealth has to be quelled in order for them to
set more realistic goals in what they see in a real man. This
obviously is not something that will happen over night, and most guys
unfortunately don't have the social model to develop a mature
understanding of the women and the complex emotional needs that are
required. Because even if a young guy has balls to send on this email,
how is this going to make the guy more of a man. I mean anyone can
forward an email. To me this could be just a measure to gain power on
both sides of the coin, because some women claim to be a damesel in
distress when there really is nothing wrong with them, but rather the
attitude they have.

This email is steriotyped in many ways in that it suits a specific
target audience, the shovenistic male comes to mind. This is a poor
attitude by automatically placing the male in automatic blame with a
segmented problem. This problem is a real problem for specific people
who have that attitude but who is to say that the email is forwarded
to an unsuspecting young male who also doubts themselves worthy of a
relationship. Such a situation would amplify the problem because
suddenly that person could quite automatically believe that this is
true about themselves and therefore feel guilty for a crime that was
never intended.

While this email steriotypes those who are shovenistic, the very ones
who are, could quite easily forward the email and pretend to be
something they aren't. Just by clicking forward on their email
account. So that next time a female chats to the guy who sent her the
email, who would be the wiser that he intended the email in a form of
"brownie points" to gain better hopes of winning the women over. This
is where REAL communication comes into play. The women has to be brave
enough, just like the male and maybe a spark of conversation will
spawn.

The hard part is not just making the right choice, but applying a
positive attitude towards it. So many young people these days are so
full of negative attitudes or sometimes positive attitudes but in
conjunction with the wrong choice that they almost always end up
dissapointed in the outcome. This is more than just a maturity thing
because this kind of problem can be inherited from parents, just like
all sin is passed down through generations. This means that it takes a
practical approach on both sides of the coin so that both parties can
see a change in attitude and hopefully make the right choices. To be
honest, this email comes across very negative. Not all guys are built
around that steriotype and not all women feel bad about their looks.
There are people out ther who have some understanding of faith and
good awareness of the holy spirt.

I believe a person of faith will see the shortcommings in a person and
try to make them a better person out of it. Real relationships require
faith because even if one party has no faith and follows the
steriotypical model, the other has no choice but to follow what their
heart feels. Now hopefully the love and understanding of the person is
greater than the ignorance or walls placed in between them. Notice
though that either way, it requires at least some effort on both
parties to allow a successfull outcome. So even when the other person
makes the right choice, it may take some work to commit that choice
into practice. Does this mean I am saying that true love requires
effort? Very much so, especially for the person who does not practice
it. For love will be weak within and just like exercize, will need
constant training and fine tuning. Loving is just like a muscle, in
that it requires constant use in order for it to grow stronger. Small
efforts and a positive attitude will therefore go a long way.

Being a male, I have to put my own perspective on the matter: Women
are a different genetic make up to men, so their requirements can
sometimes conflict with the male idiology simply because of natural
differences. For instance, it is ok for women to be emotional in a
variety of ways yet a male will frequently always has the monotone,
emotionless steriotype. Never cry no matter the pain attitude, from
childhood. This of course creates walls within the person and later in
life that person will have great difficulty communicating to a women
who has developed an emotional awarenes and understanding. This
requires attention and unfortunately this is not something most young
guys can do on their own. Being in that situation would be very
daunting and make it easier to follow the steriotype. It is a matter
of education and social community to bring people up together in a
society where such walls are slowly pulled down and new friendships
form.

With this in mind, the steriotypes are just that. They are quite
simply an assumption of general public. I bet though, when it comes to
the crunch, most people don't really know what they want. Mainly
because this is an inward thing and not something people would talk
about. I just don't like the overall vibe of this email. It points the
finger rather than set's an example, or more to the point, I want an
email that involves us in the solution. This reply is I guess my first
attempt at a solution to a chainmail that doesn't involve a solution."


I understand I kind of give of 'my' biased look at the issue but in many aspects people are biased to see their own truth in many ways, I try to keep my views as neutral as I could but as you can plainly see that not even I am safe from my own bias. I only pray that my reply gives further insight into what misunderstandings people have when deciding to attack an issue without taking into account both sides of the story.

Feel free to leave your comments and views relating to my 'lecture' you could say, no matter it be a posative or a negative response.