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<center> I did it
</center>
...I dunno if I should be happy or sad.
...when I did it...it felt strange.
It makes me feel like I'm sick inside...like I want to vomit.
I don't belong to anyone, now. I broke up with Kevin...
He's never online...we never talk...we never do anything...so today, my god...I finally caught him online on RO. I was so happy to talk to him...and then the first thing he did was brag about how high his levels were...he's making his sister level him up. Its not..right to brag abotu something you put no effort into. sad
I tried to talk abotu everythign thats been on my mind, but he wouldn't hear it. All I heard was how sorry he was for being a bad boyfriend and how happy he was that I hadn't broke up with him. ::sigh:: I wasn't yellign or mad or anything, I was so well complied...and then he said 'Oh, I gotta go' and just...left.
...so his sister got on and talked to me. I was pissed and hurt that he wouldnt' hear me out. I actually felt tears in my eyes...so I figure ******** it. If he won't invest anytime into me then why should I for him? So its over...his sis told him and she said it took off on his bike. He's actually mad at me like this is my fault. I hate him...for always making me feel so bad like it was my fault.
I'm down about it...sadder than s**t.
Tee hee...but not cutting myself, or taking to many pills...I can't believe I hurt myself because of someone else. If he really loved me he wouldn't let me hurt myself...Teh, I remember after I told him I was a cutter every time I got mad he would run off and claim to be cutting himself. Hes...such a bad liar. I mean, sweatdrop if your going to lie to me then be like Greg and make it convincing. 3nodding
...I feel so weird inside. I don't like this feeling...but Kevin was unhappy and so was I...someone needed to grow up and end it. 3nodding I wish it wouldn't of been me, though...its like I end everything like this. We starting 'dating' October 31, 2004 and offically/finally broke up January 22, 2005.
I hope that the next relationship I am in...that it won't just be happy at first. Everything I get involved with is...at first I am so happy and then it wears off and bad things happen. I atleast learn from these experiances. 3nodding I learn the 'bad' things abotu myself and can improve them for the next person that I happen to be with.
I'm staring into space...I'm actually single again. Not for a week or so liek before when Kevin tried to fix what was wrong with him...but like...for an unknown ammount of time.
...now for the first time I will begin to understand what Sephy really meant about not being able to be friends after a relationship. I will try...I wonder how this will work out.
Teh, I'ma hop on MSN see if anyone intresting is on and then start my responce to Onii-sans letter.
wink heart
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