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god; I swear I'm gonna hurt someone soon. Gosh. stupid jealousy clouding my judgment! This is so annoying. It happens every time! And I can't seem to bear it because I see it every friggin day! It makes me feel so little.. So left out.. So.. yesterdays trash or something. Like seriously. This has been going on for too long. And lately I've been trying to compress my feelings towards it. God; but its just too damn hard! And no matter how friggin hard I try to forget about it or avoid it.. It just finds its way to come creeping back; and its so hard to look away because it hurts so damn much. I just.. I just should move on... But.. I know thats not gonna happen for a while to come. My chance just flew by. And I let it get away. I let it slip away from my grasp. I.. I just don't know what to do now. Its agonizing every single day. It tears me apart as though I'm dying inside. I just can't take it much longer. Every day I try to mask my sadness by pretending to be happy. But deep down inside I'm not. Its just a fake mask to hide my true feelings. No one really knows what I really feel.

No one ever will.