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I don’t own Inuyasha, A Christmas Carol, or the Muppets. But I do own an army of owls. Don’t ask.



Once upon a time…

“Once upon a time!?” Kagome cried out. “Is that the best you can do?”

Shush you’re not supposed to pay attention to the narrator!!! As I was saying…Once upon a time, there was a half-demon named Inuyasha. He was a very rude and cruel demon. He would go around Japan, killing demons and stealing their shards…

“Uh, lady, I need the shards to complete the Shikon Jewel!” Inuyasha yelled.

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE OMNIOUS VOICE!!!!! Anyway, and he was such a jerk to his friends that were always loyal to him. Kagome tried to be nice to him, but he’d yell at her, making her go home. Sango and Miroku were always trying to help him on his journeys, but he’d just ignore them. This is a story of a rude demon who is visited by three spirits of Christmas…

“WTF Don’t I get a say in this!?” Inuyasha once again cried out.

Nope!!!






“Inuyasha, it’s almost Christmas! Want to come and celebrate it with me? My mom’s making a turkey dinner and everything!” Kagome asked Inuyasha one day.

“Christmas? Ba, humbug!” Inuyasha huffed.

“ ‘Ba humbug’? Since when do you say that?” Kagome asked.

“Since now! I don’t care about stupid Christmas!” Inuyasha growled, then stomped off.

As he walked through the town, two men with a box went up to him.

“Sir, could you please be so kind as to donate to charity? It’s almost Christmas, and there are starving children!” One of the men asked.

“I ain’t donating anything!” Inuayasha growled.

“But if you don’t kindly donate, most of the children will die!” The second man added.

“Well, if they’re going to die, they better do it and decrease the surplus population!” Inuyasha yelled, then once again stomped off, leaving behind two very dismayed gentlemen.

Meanwhile, as Kagome watched this from behind a building, she thought to herself, Wow, Inuyasha just used a big word! And does Feudal Japan even have charity…? She just shrugged and walked off.

“Miroku! Where the hell are you!? We have to go shard hunting!” Inuyasha said, looking for the monk.

“I’m right here Inuyasha. But it’s Christmas Eve! I don’t want to go hunting right now. I want to go home and celebrate it with my wife, Sango!”

“Fine, we’ll go tomorrow!”

“I don’t want to go tomorrow either! I don’t care if you don’t celebrate Christmas, I do and I want to spend it with my wife!” Miroku said with an annoyed look.

“FINE! We’ll go the day after tomorrow! Do you have anything planned tomorrow?” Inuyasha asked, clearly irritated.

“Actually I-”

“Good we’ll start earlier the day after Christmas!” Inuyasha said. Miroku just shrugged and went home as Inuyasha went for a tree to sleep in.

He scouted, then finally found a comfortable looking tree. He gazed at a knot in the tree, which slowly, before his eyes, transformed into Naraku, his old partner in crime!

“Um, we never did any crimes together, and we hated each other’s guts. How can we be partners?” Inuyasha asked.

FINE!!!! THE KNOT IN THE TREE TRANSFORMED INTO NARAKU, INUYASHA’S OLD ENEMY!!! GOSH!!!

Inuyasha just gazed in horror. Then the Naraku-knot thingy open his mouth wide and cried, “INUYASHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“WTF!?” Inuyasha cried.

“To say Inuyasha wasn’t surprised would be a lie,” Gonzo said.

Hey! This is my job! *whacks Gonzo with a baseball bat* GET OFF THE STAGE!!!

“Uh…Gonzo? Want some jelly beans?” Rizzo asked.

I SAID SCRAM!!!

Rizzo grabs Gonzo and runs off the stage.

“Uh, hello? When are we going to get back to the story?” Inuyasha asked.

Whoops sorry! Inuyasha ignored the strange transformation though and climbed into the tree to sleep. As he lay restlessly, a strange feeling began to envelope him…And before he knew it, a ghost appeared to him! It was none other than Naraku!

“Uh…I thought you were dead, or something…” Inuyasha said.

“I am, you idiot…I was sent to tell you something…now what was it again?” The ghost-Naraku mused, rubbing his chin despite the chains that were holding him down.

“What’s with the chains?” Inuyasha asked.

“Oh yeah! That’s what I was supposed to tell you!”

“What, that you got new chains?”

“No. The leader-guy down there said that if you don’t get a change of heart, you’ll have the same fate as me,” Naraku explained.

“Okay…so what’s with the chains?”

“See these chains?” Naraku asked, gesturing to the chains.

“Uh, yeah, I’ve been asking about those at least three times!” Inuyasha groaned.

“Well, each evil deed you commit adds another link to your chain. Once you die, if you go ‘down there’, you have to wear your chain forever,” Naraku replied.

“Okay, that kind of makes sense. But what doesn’t make sense is the fact that your chain looks so small. I mean, that can’t possibly be all of your chain!” Inuyasha said.

“Of course it isn’t. My chain has it’s own zip code. The rest is right here,” Naraku said, pointing to a gigantic pile of chains in the corner.

“That’s more like it. But…what’s a zip code?” Inuyasha asked.

“That’s not the point. Anyway, to make sure you’ll have a change of heart, you’ll be visited by three spirits, okay?”

“Um, not really. Look, I don’t know what I ate, but you can’t be real, okay?”

“Just expect the first ghost at 1:00 AM, whether you want to or not.”

“Maybe I should borrow Kagome’s watch because I can’t really tell what time it is.” Inuyasha pondered.

Naraku slapped his forehead and snapped, “It doesn’t matter if you know what time it is! The spirit will come whether you know if it’s 1:00 or not! YOU ARE SO DENSE!” And with that, Naraku disappeared.

“Whatever,” Inuyasha growled, then he turned over and went to sleep.








Yeah if there were such things as clocks in Feudal Japan, I’d have a giant town clock chiming right now, but we’ll just have to settle with saying it’s 1:00 AM. Sorry for the inconvenience if there is any. There shouldn’t be though…oh well, back to the story!

“Inuyasha…Inuyasha, wake up,” A gentle and faint voice whispered. Even though Inuyasha has sharp dog ears, he couldn’t even hear the voice.

“Inuyasha…” The voice said a little louder. Still no response.

“INUYASHA, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!” The voice shouted, not so gentle anymore…

“Holy crap!!” Inuyasha cried, falling out of the tree. He rubbed his head and looked at the intruder. It was none other than Kikyou (as a ghost of course).

“Hello Inuyasha. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past,” Kikyou introduced.

“No you aren’t. You’re Kikyou,” Inuyasha said.

“I know I’m Kikyou! But right now I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past!” Kikyou snapped.

“Whoa, I didn’t know you could multi-task. Anyway, what do you want?” Inuyasha asked.

“I was sent to help you have a change of heart. Now touch my hand, and we shall fly to your past,” Kikyou explained.

“What if I don’t want to?” Inuyasha snapped.

“You’ll do it anyway!” Kikyou ordered, snatching Inuyasha’s hand. They flew high up into the sky, then straight to the horizon, where a light was shining.

“Dude, it’s not dawn, and I don’t think I’m dead, so what’s that light?” Inuyasha asked Kikyou.

“It’s the past, so shut up and quit whining!” Kikyou shouted as they flew into the light. After emerging from the light, Kikyou and Inuyasha flew a little before landing before a little boy.

“Is he familiar?” Kikyou asked. The boy had long white hair, little dog ears, amber eyes, and was dressed in the cloth of a fire rat.

“Um…he seems familiar…is he my uncle?” Inuyasha pondered.

“NO you idiot, HE’S YOU!!!!!” Kikyou shouted. I’m not getting paid enough for this, Kikyou thought to herself.

“Oh, that was my next guess. Yeah…I was usually alone. Since my mom died. I never had anyone to give me presents on Christmas,” Inuyasha said quietly.

“Whatever…anyway, remember that one Christmas?” Kikyou asked.

“Remember? How could I forget!” Inuyasha said. Right before his very eyes…

“Inuyasha grew up and watched as the years did their terrible dance,” Gonzo said.

HEY I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET OUT OF TOWN!!!

“Gonzo, give it up, this girl was here before us,” Rizzo said.

WHY ARE WE HAVING SO MANY INTERRUPTIONS!!!??? Anyway, and before Inuyasha knew it, the little version of him grew into a teenager. He still looked the same though, he always does. And out from behind the trees, Sesshoumaru appeared before the little half-demon.

“Merry Christmas little brother. I just wanted to let you know that father is dead because of you, and I’m never going to forgive you. Enjoy your Christmas,” and with that, Sesshoumaru disappeared.

“Yep, I remember that Christmas alright,” Our true Inuyasha said.

“And there are quite a few more Christmases we have to visit,” Kikyou explained. Then the scene changed to a different forest, the one near the Sacred Tree. There, a priest was handing Kikyou the sacred jewel shard.

“Merry Christmas Kikyou. I present to you the Shikon Jewel. You are to guard it now with your life. But first, let me introduce to you a half-demon that will try to steal it,” The old priest said, leading Kikyou to Inuyasha.

“I remember this. This was the Christmas when Kikyou and I first met…” Inuyasha responded a little blankly.

“Uh, hello, I’m right here!” Kikyou snapped. “Oh, never mind.”

The old priest ushered to the past Inuyasha. “Beware of him, he’ll try to steal the jewel.”

As Kikyou and Inuyasha’s eyes met, it was love at first sight.

“Um, not really. It was love after a few attempts at stealing the jewel,” Inuyasha said to the narrator.

I SAID IGNORE ME!!!

“Okay, we have one last Christmas to visit before my time here with you is over,” Kikyou announced.

“Oh no! Not that Christmas! Anything but that Christmas! Please Spirit!” Inuyasha begged.

“Inuyasha, do you even know which Christmas I’m talking about?” Kikyou asked.

“No….” Once again the scene changed to that very infamous scene we all know and get irritated with.

Naraku in the form of Inuyasha crept up behind Kikyou and laid a lethal attack on her shoulder. As she laid on the ground, she cried out, “Inuyasha, you traitor!”

“I remember him! That’s Naraku before he died. We were huge enemies,” Inuyasha said.

“Yeah, you remember me, you remember Naraku, but you can’t even remember yourself as a kid,” Kikyou retorted.

Mustering up as much strength as the dying Kikyou could, she searched for Inuyasha. When she found him, she shot an arrow at him, crying, “Die Inuyasha!”

“That was the Christmas that forever changed my life…wait, was that even a Christmas?” Inuyasha asked.

“Good question. Oh well, my time with you is up,” Kikyou said. She grabbed his hand and they flew back to the present, right before the tree Inuyasha was sleeping in.

“The next ghost will come at 2:00 AM. And before you ask, no you will not need a watch! Good riddance!” Then Kikyou disappeared. Inuyasha shrugged and jumped back into the branch, hoping to get some sleep before the next ghost. But he only got five minutes.








“Inuyasha get up! We got work to do,” a different voice commanded. Since Inuyasha wasn’t really asleep, his eyes snapped open and he looked at the next ghost. It was Kouga.

“Hey. I’m the Ghost of Christmas present, or you may refer to me as Kouga, I don’t care either way. I have to show you some crap that will help change your heart, though I think you’re beyond hope,” Kouga announced.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get this over with,” Inuyasha groaned. Before his very eyes, night turned to day. It was Christmas morning, and everyone was busy greeting each other and giving each other gifts.

“How are these people able to afford all of this? They’re all dirt poor,” Inuyasha said.

“That’s not the point. The point is that although they are poor, although they probably have all lost some sort of loved one from demon attacks, on Christmas day they’re able to smile and spread cheer. They’re able to greet each other, exchange gifts, and count they’re blessings,” Kouga said.

“Wow. That was deep. A little too deep for someone like you,” Inuyasha glared suspiciously at Kouga.

“Don’t look at me. It’s my job to give you a change of heart. Anyway, enough of this cheesy crap. Let’s go visit Kagome and her family on Christmas day,” Kouga said.

“Sure. I’d actually love to see Kagome right now,” Inuyasha replied with a shrug. The scene changed to the Higurashi’s living room. It looked like Kagome, Kagome’s mom, Kagome’s grandpa, and Sota were all in the living room playing a game. It appeared to be a guessing game.

“Okay my turn!” Kagome said.

“Pick a good one, and make it hard!” Sota cried.

“Is it an animal?” Kagome’s mom asked.

“Kind of.”

“Is it part animal?” Sota asked.

“Yep.”

“Is it pleasant?” Kagome’s grandpa asked.

“I wish.”

“Is it part human?” Sota asked.

“Yes.”

“Is it rude?” Kagome’s mom asked, catching on.

“You bet.”

“Is it Naraku?” Inuyasha asked.

“Is it Naraku?” Kagome’s mom asked.

“Hey I said it first!” Inuyasha pouted.

“No it isn’t.”

“I know! I know!” Kagome’s grandpa cried. “It’s part animal, part human, it’s rude, not pleasant, and isn’t Naraku!”

“Yeah so who is it?” Inuyasha asked.

“So what’s your answer?” Kagome asked.

“A hippopotamus!”

“No Dad, it’s Inuyasha!” Kagome’s mom said.

“Good job Mom!” Kagome cried, giving her a thumbs up.

“Oh…” Inuyasha said, a little upset.

“Kagome’s so cute…I mean, see Inuyasha? Your evilness affects everyone!” Kouga cried. “Well, before we depart, we have one last stop.” The scene changed back into Feudal Japan, and Inuyasha saw himself before the little cottage Sango and Miroku shared together. Except Sango was all alone, cooking dinner. Heavenly aromas were emerging from

“I wonder when they’ll be back,” she said to herself as she continued to stir the soup. As if on cue, Miroku came walking towards the house with Shippo on his shoulder. They walked through the door, and Shippo jumped off Miroku to go smell dinner as Sango went to go greet Miroku with a kiss.

“So how’s Shippo?” Sango asked.

“Oh, he’s just fine. How’s the dinner coming along?”

“It’s almost done. I just finished the little duck, so we should set the table soon,” Sango said. Then Shippo started coughing badly.

“Oh Shippo! Maybe you should sit up to the table while Miroku and I set the table. We don’t want you to cough on the dishes,” Sango said soothingly.

“Oh no! How sick is Shippo!? Is he going to die!?” Inuyasha cried.

“All I can say is I see an empty chair and a crutch without an owner,” Kouga replied solemnly.

“OH NO SHIPPO!! Wait, do you mean that chair and crutch over there?” Inuyasha said, pointing to an empty chair and lonely crutch.

“Yeah! How’d you know?” Kouga asked.

“Never mind…”

“Shippo, I hope that cold goes away soon,” Miroku said.

“Oh, it’s just a cold. I thought Tiny Shippo was sick…” Inuyasha said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Yeah whatever. Anyway, see how small that feast is?” Kouga pointed to their feast.

“Yeah…I guess I don’t really help them cook and hunt, do I?” Inuyasha regretfully added.

“Yep. In other words, you suck and you make everyone’s lives miserable because of it. My time here is up, it’s time for you to meet the next and last ghost, the ghost of Christmas future,” Kouga said. Kouga lead Inuyasha to a small graveyard where Inuyasha sat down on a cold, hard bench. And waited for the unknown.








Right when Inuyasha thought no one was going to come, fog aroused and from it all Sesshoumaru stepped out.

“This Sesshoumaru is the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come,” He explained.

“Why are you here? I thought these spirits were supposed to help me have a change of heart. Last time I checked, you don’t give a flying turd what happens to me,” Inuyasha asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Let’s go to the future, and let’s make this quick. This Sesshoumaru has important matters to take care of that don’t involve you,” Sesshoumaru said. A huge black portal appeared out of nowhere, and Sesshoumaru lead Inuyasha into it. They appear at a scene that’s gloomy, dark, and rainy. Two men are talking in a little tavern.

“He’s finally dead isn’t he,” one of the men asked.

“Yep, I’m glad because of it,” the other one said.

“I wonder if anyone’s going to the funeral,” the first man said.

“If there’s food, yep there will be people,” the second man said with a chuckle.

I wonder who died…Inuyasha thought to himself.

“Let’s go visit Miroku and Sango,” Sesshoumaru suggested.

“Finally! It feels like someone died here!” Inuyasha said.

“Were you not listening? Someone did die, you half-demon, half-wit brother,” Sesshoumaru said. Instead of starting an argument, they just went back to Miroku and Sango’s cottage. But something wasn’t right…Sango was once again alone, cooking Christmas dinner, but where was the cheer? Just like last time, Miroku arrived at the cottage, but without Shippo.

“How’s dinner coming along?” Miroku asked softly.

“Oh…it’s fine…we should probably set the table,” Sango whispered, holding back tears.

“Oh no, what happened!?” Inuyasha cried. “Did Shippo die!?”

“This Sesshoumaru does not know or care,” Sesshoumaru said. Inuyasha simply glared at Sesshoumaru, but went back to gazing at the melancholy scene.

“I found him a nice place in the forest…right by Kagome’s well. I thought it would be nice for her to be reminded of Shippo’s death every time she comes back from the future,” Miroku announced.

“Oh yeah, that’s very thoughtful,” Sango said sarcastically.

“Oh no, Shippo DID die!!!” Inuyasha cried out.

“I thought you’d have calmed down a little…it’s been about a week since Shippo’s tragic accident with the stampeding herd of hippos that claimed his life,” Miroku tried to comfort Sango.

“It’s not the fact that he died, I have calmed down. It’s the fact he died in such a random, pitiful way that I can’t seem to get over. And now another death…” Sango hung her head.

“Shh…this is Christmas. A time of happy thoughts. Let’s enjoy it and let’s not think of these terrible past events,” Miroku gently ordered. Sango nodded.

“Oh, Sesshoumaru! Why did Shippo have to die!?” Inuyasha cried out.

“This Sesshoumaru still doesn’t care,” Sesshoumaru said flatly.

“Man, you’re a great help as a spirit,” Inuyasha replied sarcastically. “But…who died that Sango is a little sad about but those men are happy about?”

“Let’s go see, shall we?” Sesshoumaru asked. Inuyasha nodded, and the scene changes to the very same graveyard where Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru met. Sesshoumaru led Inuyasha to a gravestone that was covered in snow. Inuyasha knelt down, rubbed of the snow, and read the name on it.

“Let’s see…I-N-U-Y-A-S-H-A….what’s that spell again?” Inuyasha asked.

Sesshoumaru slapped his forehead. “It’s you, you idiot! You’re the person who died that people are happy about!”

“NOOOOOOOO!!!” Inuyasha cried to the sky.

“Come on, it’s not that much of a surprise is it? Besides, these are only visions of what may happen,” Sesshoumaru explained.

“No, it’s just that this stone is crap! You’d think they’d at least put a little effort into my gravestone, but instead it looks like they just grabbed a rock, wrote my name on it, then stuck it where I was buried,” Inuyasha complained.

“That’s what a gravestone is…” Sesshoumaru replied.

“Well anyway, please! I’ve changed! Tell me that I can erase the writing on this stone, and tell me Shippo can live! Please believe me when I say I’ve changed! I’ll keep Christmas in my heart every year and all sorts of crap like that!” Inuyasha begged. Before he looked up to see what Sesshoumaru would say, Inuyasha found himself in his tree again. Startled, he looked around then fell out.

“I’m back to the good ‘ole Feudal Era! Hooray!! Thank you spirits!” Inuyasha cheered as he ran to town. “It’s Christmas morning!”










Inuyasha passed by a little boy. He looked pretty smart (the complete opposite of Inuyasha in this story). Inuyasha stopped him.

“Hey little boy, do you know if that giant Spider demon is still around?” Inuyasha asked.

“Uh…the one ten times as big as me? Yeah, he’s terrorizing the next town over. Why?” the little boy asked.

“Oh nothing. Thank you and Merry Christmas!” Inuyasha cried. He followed the demons scent, and when the demon was found, the slashed it into bits. He then piled the demon bits onto a plate, thinking, Sango can probably cook this.

He ran to Sango’s house, and knocked on the door. Sango answered.

“Oh…hello Inuyasha. I thought you let Miroku have a break from shard hunting,” Sango informed, just in case if he forgot.

“I know, I just thought you’d like to have this for Christmas dinner!” Inuyasha said, giving Sango the plate of Spider demon meat.

“Oh thank you Inuyasha! This looks great!” Sango said. “What is it?”

“Oh…um…chicken…?” Inuyasha replied weakly.

“Well, thank you! Care to join Miroku, Shippo and me for Christmas dinner?” Sango asked.

“No thanks,” Inuyasha replied eagerly. “I uh…have to give Kagome something.”

He raced to the well where he found some wild flowers. He picked a few, then jumped into the well and into the future. He ran to Kagome’s door and knocked impatiently on it. Kagome finally answered.

“Oh…what do you want…?” Kagome replied annoyed.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for being a jerk,” Inuyasha apologized. He gave her the beautiful flowers. “Merry Christmas Kagome.”

“Thank you Inuyasha! They’re beautiful!” Kagome squealed. She stared at him. “Uh…do you want to come in for dinner?”

“I’d love to!” Inuyasha said with a smile. Beats eating the spider demon that Sango thinks is chicken…Inuyasha thought.

So Inuyasha’s heart did change. Naraku’s chain got bigger because he found out how to cause mischief as a ghost, Kikyou, Kouga, and Sesshoumaru quit being Christmas spirits after Inuyasha, Sango and Miroku never figured out it was spider demon, and-

“And Tiny Shippo, who did not die…” Gonzo started.

WTF I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!!! *starts chasing Gonzo with baseball bat* Anyway, Shippo didn’t die, because there aren’t any hippos in Japan. The end.