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So i find myself really depressed right now. I feel like My life should have one of those crazy Christmas wishes in it, or maybe that Santa can magically appear and make it so i can spend Christmas with Justin. Carina's engagement makes me feel the same way. Magically some how i'll get to see Justin and everything will be totally wonderful. Or maybe i'll just sit with my family and be sad that I'm missing a lovely Christmas with my beloved.

Its more so that I feel that my Christmas Sprit is bashed and bottled. My idea of my first Christmas is not at all what i hoped. I wanted a Christmas tree, with lights and a few ordaments, the ones that i own and a few new ones and one that says something about this year. Insted i sit in a house, with no lights, no ordaments, no tree, and worst of all, i didn't get to participate in the lights display of the neighborhood that was this evening. I am glad though that i wasn't here. it really made me sad to see the luminaries lining the street but it would have been worss with the faces ad lights with them.

I feel that hopefully next year i can do this Christmas thing correct. I'm really feeling that this year could have and would have been better if something had been differnt, but alas i get nothing that my Christmas cheer will be feeding off of. *le sigh*

atleast i am albe to be active int he events on here, that makes things a little better.

Merry Christmas to everyone, and Happy whatever to everyone else

Wishing that 12hours over land was between us, and not 12 hours over water.
Christina