Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Hi there,

The whole point of my blog was to show - anyone that was interested - that not all self help was constructive and not all self help was useless new age waffle.
I was thinking to myself the other day about what aspects of the self help books I have read lately that have found of beneficial to myself.

Here are the concepts I have found that have helped me and where I found them.

1) Life is difficult.

The very first words from the grandfather of self help "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. Life is indeed difficult and don't let anyone fool you into thinking otherwise. Suffering is unavoidable in life - it goes hand in hand with living. I learnt this from a very early age when my mother died from cancer. I have also learnt that a lot of suffering can make you stronger in the long run. Suffering can also allow you to empathize with the suffering of others and thus develop compassion for other people. You cannot avoid suffering.

2) Train your mind by avoiding cognitive distortions.

Recognize the kinds of irrational thinking that you, like everyone else, tend to engage in from time to time. Reducing your irrational thinking will often help you to become a happier person. This does not mean you should delude yourself into thinking everything is great when it clearly is not. No. What I mean is that there are some bad thinking habits that should be noted and changed. These habits include irrational beliefs or misinterpretations of external events. An example of an irrational belief would be that you feel you must be perfect in everything you do otherwise you are worthless. An example of misinterpretation would be overgeneralization i.e. that guy cut me off - drivers today are terrible!

For more examples see the brilliant summary in the book "Mind Performance Hacks" by Ron Hale-Evans (Hack #5 cool or the book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by Dr.David Burns.

3) 6 traits that you can develop that will transform your life and the world.

These traits are taught through out the major world religions and for good reason. It is not a secret! These traits are - compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness,selflessness and love. If we must be selfish let us develop those traits in ourselves and happiness will follow. I have been trying to do this for some time and it does transform how you think and feel about the world around you. I have to say that I feel happier and less stressed and people around me feel I am easier to live with too! smile

Read "The Art of Happiness" by the Howard Cutler and the Dalai Lama for more on this.

4) Relax.

If you practice some form of daily relaxation it will act as the foundation to dealing with your everyday stresses. Try mediation (its easier than you think), progressive muscle relaxation or yoga. If you do this regularly it will change the whole way your mind and body react together when it comes to stress. I have to admit I do find it difficult to find time to do this. I am not a morning person (e.g. A lot of meditators get up at 4 or 5am to meditate) but I try and fit in daily relaxation exercises and treat it like brushing my teeth. It is something I need to do to stay healthy.

Read "The Calm Technique" by Paul Wilson.

5) You don't need to run a marathon and eat carrots everyday to be fit and healthy.
I try and do some yoga every other day and go for brisk walks. A brisk walk is where I am walking at such a pace that I break into a bit of sweat for about 30 minutes. So with those two forms of exercise I am getting aerobic, strength and flexibility exercises without having to go near a gym. If you enjoy sport it is half the battle as you have fun when you exercise. Try and find somewhere nice to go for your walks or you could go swimming at your local pool and treat yourself to a sauna afterwards.

See "The Integrated Health Bible" by Dr. Mosaraf Ali


I hope you find this post useful and you explore the concepts I have mentioned. I have found them to be very useful and you don't have to do anything special or spend a lot of money to learn them.