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Even to this day, I’ve held on to my precious memories of the days spent in my beloved hometown of Sithro. It was a humble place, I admit, but it was beautiful because of the bountiful nature and peaceful air. As eager as I was in pursuit of knowledge, I’ve come to learn a few simple lessons that I could never gain from books and scrolls. They were simple lessons really, but I’ve quickly come to realize how important and practical they were in life. Out of all of these lessons, I believe this was one that I am still quite very fond of…
Prophet Destiny
How To Smile
Thankfully, it was bright and sunny that day. Other than the occasional chirping of birds, it was also rather quiet.
As usual, I was sitting beneath the big, shady tree in a field away from everybody else with a book or two at my side. I actually had enough studying at the moment, so I decided to take a break and let my mind wade through my many curiosities:
What it’s like to live in the city, how the Elvin Race possesses such ingenious craftsmanship, Why it is humans have an absurd amount of languages amongst themselves…
Unlike my sedentary body, my mind liked to wander all over the place.
I even thought for awhile that I’d have this solitary peace to myself for a long time, but I was wrong on this account. Instead, one of the other children of the village decided to join me beneath me tree.
Fortunately, it was a welcome presence that came to greet me. She had long, wavy pale blonde hair and gentle eyes that shone like prisms. She wore a casual short-sleeved white dress that went down to her ankles. She approached me with that soft smile of her that always brought me comfort somehow.
Sometime before becoming well acquainted with this girl, she was little more than a presence of intrigue to me. I’d always notice her whenever she went about her business while I would keep to myself and stick to my own. There was always this aura of brightness to her; the kind that easily drew people to her, myself included. I wanted to know what that was, and why that was. I wanted to know why she felt so special to me, somehow. Yet I was afraid of her. I was afraid, that as the only child in the village distanced himself from everybody else, would be nothing more than a shallow mystery that would loose its purpose once we met. I was afraid that she would merely acknowledge me as a loose, casual playmate she would only come to for convenience.
I was afraid she would quickly hurt and abandon me like someone else in life, who had the sick pleasure of making it worse by being flesh and blood.
But when we finally met, she approached me with a feeling that I rarely experienced at that time. It was a feeling that I appreciated of her, and the reason that I set aside my fear to befriend her:
It was a sincere wish to understand me.
And so, that one meeting lead to many more pleasant ones that I hold dearly in my heart and mind, including this one.
Considering that she was still fairly distant from me, she went into a brief run to reach me. When she finally stopped, I looked up to face her.
“Yula. Good Morning.” I greeted.
“Good Morning to you, too. It’s nice to see you again, and under fine weather, too.” She answered back with her warm smile.
Unfortunately, I haven’t quite rid myself of the awkward feeling I had when I merely watched her from a distance. In fact, I think those recent run of close encounters and talks might have intensified this feeling to an extent. Luckily, I seem to be finally getting used to it.
Even more regretfully, that smile of hers quickly faded after we exchanged glances.
“Gades, is something wrong?” she asked me in a curious tone.
The expression on her face told me she was concerned for me, which confused me at first.
“No, why? Do I look ill to you or something? Because I feel fine. Honest.” I assured her.
Yula nodded silently, then slowly got closer to me. She gradually inched closer to my face, but seemed intent in controlling her distance.
At the same time, I was feeling more confused and awkward the closer she came. Suddenly, she stopped approaching me altogether and looked at me with intense focus.
For awhile, we simply looked at each other finally while I was trying to figure out what exactly she was doing. Eventually, she drew back and knelt down by my side.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… you had this serious look on your face, and I remember how you were the first few times we talked together. I was worried you might be upset again.” She shared with me.
I understood what she meant. Back then, I wasn’t the most cheerful boy in the village. But I wasn’t aware my casual expression would make me seem that way.
“Don’t worry, I’m quite fine, actually. I was just thinking about things. Do I really look so… upset to you?” I asked.
Yula paused. She turned her head slightly as she thought about an appropriate answer for me. A moment later, she faced me again with an awkward smile.
“Well, I don’t mean to sound imposing, but with that vague expression of yours, it’s hard to tell when you feel “fine” sometimes, especially when talking to others. You see, when people feel fine at the moment, they usually let others now by showing a smile, usually in greeting.” She told me as she pointed at her more relaxed grin.
I admit that she was being unnecessarily abrupt by showing me a smile like it was a foreign concept to me, but I suppose she anticipated that I had a lot to learn about common socializing, and it was likely her best method of making sure I understood. And her reasoning wasn’t so horrible. I still had a lot to learn about socializing, anyway.
“Showing a smile, huh?” I repeated. “I admit that I always see our Senior acquaintance Ioni with a constant smile on his face, so he must feel fine all the time. And you’re always smiling and cheerful when you’re around others, so does being with everyone and talking with them make you feel fine?”
Yula nodded. “Yes, especially with you.” She told me calmly.
I had a feeling that she meant something special by that comment, but I didn’t want to get ahead of myself.
I nodded back in understanding, but the concept still didn’t sit well with me.
“I think that’s great, then. But... does it really matter whether or not I wander around with a smile most of the time? I mean, if you think I’m upset again, I can always tell you that I’m really fine. I’m sure the anyone else will understand that way.” I explained to her.
“I suppose that could work, but don’t you think it would be easier just to show others you feel fine with a simple look?” Yula refuted.
Again, she offered another good point, but the purpose behind a casual smile still felt silly to me.
“Not really. Besides, what’s the point in constantly showing others how you feel? Most people I will meet will remain nameless strangers to me. They won’t really care about my mood, and I don’t mind the extra hassle of explaining myself if some of them if they must know.” I argued back.
Yula seemed to be at a loss for words. I suddenly became concerned that I had upset her somehow with my response. Ironic, isn’t it?
But again, she found her composure when she newest point in this peculiar argument.
“Actually, there’s a perfectly good reason for smiling! There’s an interesting power that comes with a smile. Somehow, showing others that you feel fine, that there is someone who feels there’s a reason to feel good in the world, can make others feel the same. It can help put others at ease, or help them cheer up. In a way, you could say it’s a natural healing gift that all people were given with their face.” She explained to me.
The warmth in her smile grew as she told me this. There was certainly no doubt in her mind of her belief.
I found myself in awe as I witnessed this. It was a common feeling when we spoke together like this, and I enjoyed this feeling. Though I wasn’t sure if she felt the same way as I.
“I see… that makes sense. Your smile, for example. It seems to do those same things for me.” I answered back.
For some reason, Yula looked thoroughly shocked as she heard this. She remained perfectly still with that expression on her face for just a brief moment, then she moved back slightly and regained her composure.
“Oh… really? T-thank you…” she said in a slightly flustered tone.
I think that feeling of hers was contagious, because I started feeling a little funny myself for seeing her like that.
For lack of better words, she looked quite endearing, or rather, really quite. She was pleasantly cute, actually. But I digress…
“So, smiling… it can work to soothe others? Like a healing of the heart?”
“Yes… it’s quite normal, really. You’ve done it a few times before, and I’m sure by now you what one looks like. You want to try it, now?” she asked me.
“Alright…” I uttered quietly.
I looked at Yula’s face at first, then recalled the smile of an older boy named Ioni, who I never seen once without one. I then formed the assumed arc of a smile with my left hand to get a good feel of what it should be like on my face. Finally, gestured my mouth to match the feeling in my hand and held it right below my chin for a visual comparison.
“Like this?” I asked, uncertain whether or not I was actually smiling at the time.
“Yes! Just like that! Good job!” Yula told me in congratulations as she applauded my success.
An impulsive feeling of gratitude flowed through me as I saw Yula’s overjoyed expression. It was wonderful to be able to excite her like that. I hoped that I could find more ways to please her that way in the future.
“That was nice to hear, but I think it’ll take me awhile to really get used to this. Right now I have to actually think about it. I’ll have to get used this feeling all the time before it becomes natural to me.” I answered nervously.
Yula giggled upon hearing me.
“No worries! I notice you learn things quickly, so I’m sure you’ll pick it up in no time! Besides, it would be a shame for you not to! You have a great smile!” she insisted.
“Really? Thank you.” I uttered humbly.
It was odd. I felt my expression change ever so slightly at that time. It was like the first time she finally spoke to me. I believe I was smiling back then too, but this kind of smile felt special somehow. And somehow, I sensed that Yula felt the same as she saw it.
Her face reddened slightly, but she reflected back at me a similar kind of special smile with a perfectly calm look.
“...I’m sure now. More than ever. A smile is a special gift.” She told me in a pleasant voice. “I look forward to you sharing it with others.”
I think my chest actually pounded for a second, but then I was flooded with a cool, soothing sensation. I believe it was because of this feeling that I treasured these kinds of moments.
I nodded back. “Understood. And I’m glad… to see you share yours with me so much, I mean.”
“Thank you, Gades.” She answered me softly.
And so, that was when I came to learn the greatest purpose of a smile. Later on, I came to learn of other smiles and other uses. The most unusual of all would be its use as a potential form of intimidation. But it was this one purpose that my dear friend Yula showed me that I always kept at heart.
 Chicken Yuki · Wed Apr 18, 2007 @ 09:52am · 3 Comments |
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