View User's Journal

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal

comment please =D

	A Poem I made EDIT
	A Poem I made EDIT

The Eclipse

As I was walking by the lake,
A sudden darkness eclipsed the sky
which stirred all the creatures in the wood
and made them sleep and say no more.

The sky was covered by heavy clouds.
Not a sight of life was there.
Only when the sun showed up for a short time,
Did I dare to walk further away.

But I was already lost,
And now, no sun will show up,
And even if it would,
My move is already done.

[inspiration: The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost] mrgreen

x_Farfetta_x · Fri May 04, 2007 @ 09:56pm · 9 Comments


x_Farfetta_x Community Member «Prev \| Next Archive \| Home [07/05/07 06:35pm] [05/04/07 09:56pm]

Offline

User Comments: [9]

Zsword70
Community Member

Offline

Tue May 08, 2007 @ 01:54am

Its pretty good. Hope you make more. see ya!

Mario the Davidic Hero
Community Member

Offline

Tue May 08, 2007 @ 03:41pm

Uhhh.... cooooool. Not bad.... seriously, not bad at all.

millerboy1
Community Member

Offline

Tue May 08, 2007 @ 04:02pm

it's good

Haroldadik
Community Member

Offline

Tue May 15, 2007 @ 03:02pm

ok... its like a real life experience yes its a good concept of a poem... try umm... learning deeper words... or try using slang with style... or something like that... wait... never mind the slang just the deep words and your all set ^^

When life sux its gonna rain, when it does do what you feel like doing cause tomorrow is another day

Nemorsa
Community Member

Offline

Sun May 20, 2007 @ 11:27am

I think it's good, you should put up more, and we should trade poems.

Kitsuan
Community Member

Offline

Thu Jun 07, 2007 @ 09:23pm

This is awesome! ^0^ Not terrible! I loves it. <3

Yasashiku_Ryuunosuke
Community Member

Offline

Wed Jun 13, 2007 @ 11:32pm

Not bad. Keep writing! Practice makes perfect. If you haven't thought of it already, maybe you'd like to grab a thesaurus and dictionary and try using a variety of different words, ones that you aren't so familiar with.

Riivaaja
Community Member

Offline

Fri Jun 15, 2007 @ 10:20am

Where did you get the idea of this poem?
It makes me feel weird, like a memory deep in my mind, but I can't remember it.
I liked this poem. smile

petty_pot
Community Member

Offline

Sat Jul 14, 2007 @ 08:07am

its pretty nice!i wouldnt have been able to write such a poem!well done and continue to write! heart domokun biggrin razz biggrin

User Comments: [9]

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

View User's Journal

More Information