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meke me a sammich fool!
I just realized
I do not understand people as well as I thought I did.

I also just realized that everytime I say anything to her or near her or where she might read it I hope she doesn't tell me to just shut the hell up and that she hates me.

It's strange. It means I value that bond more than I thought I did.

What I did was... not wrong I think... just... it wasn't my place... I was doing the right thing, I was just doing it in all the wrong ways. I lose touch with my humanity and the proper way to interact with people.

When I'm thrust back into social situations I guess I just forget that these people have emotions too. Their emotions are far more easily stimulated.

I am afraid that she hates me for what I did because I realized I am starting to slowly hate myself for doing it the way I did.

And I didn't realize it bothered me so much until a few minutes ago.

I am so used to just not feeling anything and being more or less alone that I forget that other people are different. I can usually maneuver my way around and through the emotions and opinions of others so easily that I guess I got over confident for a minute there.

The logic in what I was doing was sound. And logic is what dictates most of my decisions and opinions. I guess the logic was so perfect that I forgot that maybe it might be the wrong choice emotionally.

I'm not good with emotions... okay that's a lie. I usually am, but when I screw up I REALLY screw up.

If you know how to fix everything in a car besides the axles you're still gonna crash :/

So I guess I am sorry for assuming that what I was doing was the right thing. I didn't even take into account how that might make you feel emotionally.





 
 
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