So I was just about to go to bed and was listening to some music and all of a sudden I got really depressed and lonely. Usually it's not this bad, I'm in tears right now and I just feel so alone. I don't even know what's brought this on, I've been really happy these past few months and all of a sudden I'm really depressed and crying and I don't know what to do. I just feel so alone, I feel so so alone. I don't know what to do.
I've been fighting depression for a few years now and it's hard, and I don't want to go back to the way I was before. I really don't, but tonight I'm just not right. I don't know what to do. I'm kinda scared, and just not in my right mind. I know I shouldn't be like this, I have so many friends and my birthday is coming up soon and I'm in a Shakespeare play this summer and I'm going to Germany... But I'm just not feeling anything right now. I'm just really sad. I just don't know what to do. I am really scared, I don't want to go back to that time in my life. I can't even stop crying. Hopefully soon I'll be better again. I don't want to do this. I just need to be strong again and continue to fight the depression and fear and sadness.
I'm just feeling alone, and that's my biggest fear. And if you actually read all of this, or any of this, I salute you because it means you actually care. I'm sorry for the really long journal about my fears and insecurities I just hope that I'm not wasting any of your time. I just, I don't know. I really want someone to be there for me, to hold me, to comfort me and just, like BE THERE. I don't want to sound week, but I have issues being alone. And for some odd reason I just want someone to sing me a song, and tell me it will be ok and that I am pretty and that I shouldn't worry.
I'm going to try to stop crying every time I listen to Stranger (by Secondhand Serenade). Or any of their songs for that matter. I just.. I can't deal with the stress, and lonely-ness and sadness right now.
G'night y'all.
crucio crush Community Member 
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