TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign
WEBSTER: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on thefloor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America .
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: George!
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TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn'thave ten years ago.
WILLIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with 'I.
'ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, 'I am.'
ELLEN: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: 'Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?'
JOHNNY: 'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, sametime.' _____________
TEACHER: 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherrytree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
JOHNNY: 'Because George still had the axe in his hand.'
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TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same asyour brother's. Did you copy his?
DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when peopleare no longer interested?
PUPIL: A teacher.