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Big upset today. Jesus lost in the World History Showdown. That's fine, though...I think. It's because Kyle was sick. If he wasn't he might have had more time to work on the song, which might have at least evened out some odds. But the worst part was that Niko and Ahmed went second, so they completely countered everything we had. It wasn't a fair fight, but alright. Whatever. I shouldn't be worrying about such trivial things like this. In a way, I think I was meant to lose. Maybe it has something to do with life and fate. Who knows? As long as I have friends. I think.

I hope Frank's not reading this. I would be disappointed and he would be ashamed.

But I he was reading this, I would write, "I'm thinking of slashing myself across the wrist...I've practiced the motion and is able to withstand the impending pain." Ha. I'm suicidal.

But anyway. I've had a "moment" and I've realized that things won't happen. I shouldn't be thinking that they're true. It honestly doesn't work, because I keep getting the wrong impression on things. Puts a negative spin in life when the things I thought were true aren't.

I also see I don't need to be involved...[a certain thing]. I'm too far in ruins to be involved in it. It's all fake. No one likes it. It never ends right. And if you knew what I was talking about, you'd pity me.

I don't have a really positive look on life. I pretty much hate it. And this doesn't mean I'm suicidal, Frank. I still follow a certain set of rules that I created that doesn't let me kill myself. I'll just have to live it out.

I can't type more right now...I've got a RP starting. It's WATCHMEN. I hope it's good.