Okay, well, this is going to be my first post. And hopefully what I write in here will not cause problems with certain people.
So, the title of this journal entry is 'Nerves' so obviously its got to do with my nerves on a certain subject. Those nerves happen to be about a certain guy that I have fallen in love with. Like I stated before, I really hope he does not get mad at me for posting this. But I am not mentioning any names here.
He, honestly, makes me feel different than any guy in my past has made me feel. But that truly scares me. I suppose it is the whole unknown factor that helps it along. Mostly my nerves involve him ending up: Lying to me about things, start ignoring me for whatever reason, start talking to another girl or already doing it behind my back, and losing interest in me (cause I sometimes think I can be boring. >< wink . The horrible factor in this, is that he has already reassured me several times that he won't do those things. But my past with men is sketchy at best. I have been cheated on, lied to, and hurt so many times that my trust is so broken I don't know what to believe or not anymore.
I hate the fact that I have these fears because in the end they might push him to do the things that I stated above. For me, I personally, don't want what we have to fail on us like my relationships before this have. I am also afraid that perhaps I really am the only one out of us who feels the same. Or perhaps I am being paranoid for no reason. sweatdrop xd .
Anyway, I just had to vent about it. And, truthfully, any advice might help me.
So, the title of this journal entry is 'Nerves' so obviously its got to do with my nerves on a certain subject. Those nerves happen to be about a certain guy that I have fallen in love with. Like I stated before, I really hope he does not get mad at me for posting this. But I am not mentioning any names here.
He, honestly, makes me feel different than any guy in my past has made me feel. But that truly scares me. I suppose it is the whole unknown factor that helps it along. Mostly my nerves involve him ending up: Lying to me about things, start ignoring me for whatever reason, start talking to another girl or already doing it behind my back, and losing interest in me (cause I sometimes think I can be boring. >< wink . The horrible factor in this, is that he has already reassured me several times that he won't do those things. But my past with men is sketchy at best. I have been cheated on, lied to, and hurt so many times that my trust is so broken I don't know what to believe or not anymore.
I hate the fact that I have these fears because in the end they might push him to do the things that I stated above. For me, I personally, don't want what we have to fail on us like my relationships before this have. I am also afraid that perhaps I really am the only one out of us who feels the same. Or perhaps I am being paranoid for no reason. sweatdrop xd .
Anyway, I just had to vent about it. And, truthfully, any advice might help me.
