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01-15-11: Still being good about working out twice per day, been 2 weeks now and I'm proud of m'self. Thanks to Ian's (The Last Echo) advice, I've also begun to do sit-ups. Diggin' the Goodreads site right now; so much to do and I'm eager to start writing fiction again. Feeling a bit morose tonight though due to a few arguments regarding online romance.

See, I'm going to be 30 and moving back to university this summer. I feel that I can't commit to anyone who isnt reasonably close enough to kiss and snuggle on a whim. It isnt that I can't be loyal; I've never cheated on someone and I never intend to. I'm a strong gal; been through a hell of a lot of douchebaggery. But I've done the uber long distance online thing once, still haunted by it. A few hours is one thing; a separate timezone is another. I'm always game to meet someone I met online IRL, but meanwhile, why must there always be such angst from these guys? Why overthink? Is it so difficult for guys to just enjoy the moment without trying to get me to commit to them in this online realm?

If someone truly likes the REAL you THAT much, why not try harder to meet you IRL first and THEN attempt a REALISTIC relationship if you click? If they're fine with you just online, then what does that say about who they invision the real you to be? Why settle for something so insubstantial here first? Is it just about staking a claim? [/ramble]

Feel free to leave your thoughts on online romance in my Comments; I could use the advice...

10-26-10: Felt like fattening up my little collection, so I created a Feed Your Fetish thread. Yep, the dream is still going strong xd Haha. So I'm collecting pics of Scruffy faces, hips, and collarbones. Any dudes who would like to donate get some rewards; please see the first post. Ladies, feel free to drool, bump/post and vote. Or gimme pics of your brothers/friends/bfs (with their permission!). Also: I'm not around as much, but Poise and Artemis have agreed to Mod the place for me. Thanks to everyone who participates in the fun!


10-22-10: First, I'm trying to create a playlist for my Halloween party. Any suggestions you have would be much appreciated! The atmosphere is spooky chic. Think chandeliers with spiders and cobwebs, margaritas rimmed with black salt, silver glitter skulls, black roses. It's an adults-only party with family, friends, and coworkers so the songs can't be heavy. Preferably catchy and able to be danced to. Thanks for your help! Please PM me with suggestions..

Second, I know I havent been around here much since my last lil bloggy thing. Just havent had the urge to post at all on Gaia. Been pretty status quo, though I've found I have even less of a bullshit tolerance than I used to. lol. It's getting easier and easier to let people go who don't appreciate me. Oh, also: thanks to the "friend" who said he woudnt meet me because of my fat"body". You're a real peach! Thanks for that. So much for my trying to help, eh?

But while my self-esteem regarding my looks is still low, I've grown strong and fierce as hell in other ways. Real knights don't exist anymore anyway, right? Heroes, saviours, whatever they call themselves. Remember: everything happens for a reason and actions speak louder than words. The ones we pin the highest hopes on always seem to be the ones who hurt the most. Either way, we have to be our own warriors. I'm learning my strengths more and more and it really does rock. :}

Another reason why I haven't been around much is because I'm pretty busy IRL (I may not have a day job but I swear I'm more busy than I have been in a long time. I get home exhausted and wonder where the hell my day went!) and, more recently, sick. Between being sick and getting 2 flat tires, I have to miss the Mumford and Sons concert in SF on Wednesday night. Ah well. Ill go back next week. I caught the set they did on Kimmel live and it was pretty sweet!

Lessee...what else. Well, I'm going to be a 50s gal for Halloween. I have these silver glitter stiletto heels I'm going to wear with a short pink ballerina dress all tricked out with a black poodle patch and fake rhinestone leash. I have a chic short cardigan and one of those vintage 50s bras. Cats eye rhinestone glasses and a silver L initial necklace complete the ensemble. It's all actually stuff I already had. Haha! The dress was originally one I wore while being a bridesmaid and I just shortened it. I can't wait to do my hair and makeup! I'll take pics. There is going to be a photobooth @ my party so I'll upload some of those too.

I started to meditate again last night and slept well for the first time in awhile. I feel like I'm surfacing from a deep dream and everything is starting to feel new again. I'm grateful. Things were pretty bleak for me for a bit there. '_`

Oh, a last thing: I did join Lord of the Rings online (it's 100% free now and a pretty badass game), but I play pretty casually. If anyone is looking for someone to run around with, I could use the advice and help. I've only run around with someone (the reason I joined, actually) once...and have been on my own ever since, so I could definitely use a play buddy. PM me for the contact info. I have a human burglar, a hobbit hunter, an elf rune-keeper.

Happy Almost-Halloween! I loooove this holiday!



10-04-10: My 10-day vacation in San Francisco was badass, even though I accidentally left my xbox behind at a friend's house. whee At least her hubby is the editor of a video game magazine/site, so he has enough consoles and free crap through his killer job and won't mooch mine. It'll keep. But yea, I had a lot of fun. Ha!

Since I stayed in their palatial pad the whole time, I got to take HUGE bubble baths most nights in an XL jacuzzi tub. Christ on a cracker, it was awesome. Except...I really need to remember to put LESS bubbles prior to switching on the jets. LOL! Check out these freaking bubbles!

... But yea. Lesson learned. Kids, don't get distracted by texting whilst whirlpool jets are filling up a tub behind you. xd

Oh! And .. we went to the best place ever: Pizza Orgasmica. I eat there whenever I visit SF. If you live in the Bay Area, go check it out! Isn't cheap, but it's totally worth it and if you hoard 9 magnets (1 per order), your 10th order is free.

Busy month for me since I'm also going to be out of town again for a week later in the month: I'll be visiting a university on a mini 6hr road trip and I'm going to see Mumford and Sons and hit APE Con (both in San Francisco) along the way. surprised heart Lots of parties too. I love October!! (Halloween and Valentine's Days are my fave holidays...probably due to the chocolate shock).

Speaking of which, I shall close with eye candy. Anyone who hasn't seen the new show Terriers on FX, go watch! I adore this guy (Donal Logue)!! Gah, I just wanna squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze him gonk ...



9-24-10: Vacationing in San Francisco 9/24-10/3! If you want to contact me, call my cell. ;}


9-17-10: Some good and bad things, but I just feel like talking about the Good tonight! I've begun Weight Watchers and am really digging it. I don't do the meetings or even pay (I use my mom's login to access the info off the website ;P ) but I'm making better choices and have begun to exercise again with these DVDs. Lost some weight already, so that makes me hopeful. smile Going to help my cousin clean her house tomorrow as I try to flush out my system by drinking a ton of water. Then I plan to apply for jobs everywhere I can on Sat night (online) and Sunday (downtown). I need money and I need to GTFO of here...so many things going on...I need to breathe and unpack again.

Had to cancel my trip to Humboldt/SF on the 7th because I ran into some major med bills. But I'm back on track -I have insurance again now too!- and will be leaving by Wednesday to spend about 10 days in San Francisco at my BFF Kristine's house.


9-13-10:
This was another friend and family filled weekend, but I got a lot of cheer in, so that's always nice. Supposed to have jury duty this morning, but my Juror group was moved to Wednesday so I guess I have to wait 2 more days to prolong the agony. gonk
Also thought I'd post some pics of my cat's crazy positions as she chills out on my bed (yes, I have Ed Hardy sheets. Envy me!) with her arms sticking straight out in front of her. She's only been doing this recently. Odd, huh?? xd


Also: HOLY JEEBUS, they have a Rockabilly Barbie doll! I don't collect Barbie, but I MUST HAVE this one xd How badass is she? :heart


9-3-10:
Family pics at the beach! Tons of fish came onto the sand from the water, it was crazy. I don't know how anyone goes hungry in Santa Cruz. xd These pics were all of my parents (and dog Bella). Sorry about the darkness, but they were taken with my phone around sunset. Think I'm going to try to lighten them up in Photoshop, so I can get them developed at Target for my folks. ^_^





8-24-10:
Got tickets to see Mumford & Sons in San Francisco in October. Wohoo! First time seeing 'em, can't wait. I was also going to see the Airborne Toxic Event again (they put on an amazing show!), but since ticketmaster rapes everyone, it would have cost an extra $20 on top of the ticket. Eff that. I'm sorry, ATE. I tried. crying

Doing well saving money, though spending $55 a pop to apply for every school has definitely taken its toll. I also bought a Wacom so I can practice before I move. Still haven't regretted moving back home, since it's given me the chance to save to go to school...but I definitely do miss the drive back to my old place. I find myself turning down the highway exit sometimes. Crazy, huh? The last month has been a complete blur. Which is both good and bad, really. There's a lot I'd like to forget and other things I'd have loved to savor. Such is life.

Havent played much xbox much at all the past few weeks. Just always seems to be something more productive to do, but I play as I'm able and that's how I like it. Once upon a time, I didn't know what 'moderation' was. See? I'm learning. wink Now I just have to get back into writing my book series and I'm good to go.

Had a cousin ask to stay with me for a few days, which was fun. She's a director in San Jose/San Francisco and we used to be very tight and complement each other, but life grows and changes things. The visit helped our relationship a bunch though, and I'm grateful for her idea. I couldnt be an extra in her latest film last week because I had plans that day, but I'm hoping to help her out more often. It's a great distraction for me.

In other news, we remodeled our kitchen, floor to ceiling. Its been so chaotic! Tons of stuff torn out, new things added. We put a huge island in the cooking area and, being Portuguese, had one entire side molded into a wine rack. LOL. All appliances are new and stainless steel - microwave, sink, dishwasher, fridge, stove. My dad did almost all of it himself. I love my pop! Guys just don't seem... useful like that anymore, you know? It's such a treasure. He's self taught himself all that too, since he moved here from Europe: Electrical, construction, plumbing, painting, mechanic, etc. Amazing. l gotta find someone like that. xd

Lastly, I want to say RIP to Kelley who died of cancer last month. She was my age, newly married, Portuguese. We grew up together. She had it all. Beautiful, lovely eyes, patient and kind. So try to savor your lives, guys. Came close to letting mine go a few days ago, but a friend helped steer me out. I've been very hollow lately; just too much pain, too much bearing down on my shoulders. Scared shitless about commitment and getting hurt again. Thank you though, R, for steering this heffer away from the cliff's edge. I know I'll find someone right someday. :]



8-13-10:
Happy Friday the 13th!
Yep, I have closed Chateau Erotique for good. Please read my notice here. And for those of you that have asked about the name in my sig - Lua is my BFF (best furry friend) xP See my Bio under "family" for details.

Going camping tomorrow, yay! Fully moved back in @ My parent's house. I'm optomistic, having save 5k already, that I can do so far more quickly now that I've moved out of my cottage and needn't pay rent. I applied for a few really great jobs this weekend; hoping to get an interview. Still selling on eBay.

Been playing Fables 2 mostly this week in little pockets of time.Between moving and applying for jobs, county medical insurance, and schools (and dealing with paperwork) I havent had much time.


7-26-10:
Loving Mumford and Sons! Listen to #2-3 on my playlist @ the top of the page and let me know what you think. They're an indie folk band from London.

Had another garage sale (I've made $400!) yesterday. I put my past 8yrs of Marketing experience to go use by putting on a block sale. lol! I've been trying to get rid of crap while making money. Been doing garage sales, selling on eBay. Just rented out a storage unit that was half the size of the original one I needed, so I'm doing really well about minimalizing stuff while saving money. It's also great therapy, throwing old nostalgic crap away! Letting go of probs in my past is getting easier by the day. wink

My cousin is also scoping out a tip he got that schools in the Midwest are offering discounts to students from Cali, since schools are so impacted here. He works in Admissions at a private university in Nebraska, so he might have some pull. We'll see.

And to xbox: My move out date is August 1st, so I've been too busy packing/moving and I don't get on all the time, but I'd still like to find more casual players. PM me your gamertag! Or just add me: comicfairy. Loving Borderlands and Red Dead Redemption (thanks, Justine!) at the moment and, now that I have the guide for Assassin's Creed (Yes, I really AM that lazy-casual-girly-player...), I'll get back into that one too. Ruined my Fable II game by somehow managing to topple over my xbox. Oops. Luckily, bro is going to let me use his since I gave him my Left 4 Dead 2. ;D Oh, and the Scarlet Lady is my fave RDR chick. Reminds me of myself...uh, minus the scar on her cheekbone... haha


7-21-10:
Well, I've made the decision to move back home so I can save $ to move out next year to school. It wasn't a hard decision, pretty sensible since it's hard to save when I have to keep paying $700 just in rent alone. Thankfully, my folks are always gone. I'll also get a pool, my cat, and a bathtub back. Yay! ;P I've missed my bubble baths most fiercely. I do like that I'm not having to move back home in disgrace with my tail between my legs though. lol! I'm not desperate and have $ in the bank. And my Pop and I have become a lot closer so that's good. He took the cutest picture of his toy collection of classic cars (he restores the REAL classics as a hobby), look here:


Haha! For those of you that don't know my dream car, my dad has it in his collection for me. It's the black '65 convertible in the background, though I want mine with red glitter interior. Yes, I will have it someday. And yes, the "cabin" is a bird feeder and the pic was taken poolside. Lol! he texted it to my phone. He's one funny dude..

Anyway, I've narrowed it down to a few schools to move to, so I'll go to whichever is the cheapest/easiest...and I'll leave either in the Spring or the summer, whichever I feel most comfortable with, financially. Need to make sure I have plenty of $$ in the bank. So far, I'm doing really well! 5 grand and counting!!


7-2-10:
Quick add to yesterday's update~
I'm planning to move out of California to finish school and was wondering if you guys had recommendations for a university, so PLEASE PM ME if you do. Only serious PMs, please. While I appreciate the thought, please explain why I should go to your school -- and not just because you live there and happen to like me. blaugh Based on a few of your recommendations, I'll already be applying to 1 in Canada (Trent University) and 3 in the USA (University of Montana/Washington/Rhode Island). Thanks already to: Leneia, Lural, Rini and Fat Jesus! :]

Details: I'd be transferring Spring or Fall 2011 as a Senior and hopefully getting my BA in History within that year. If I like the area, I'd like to stay 2 more years and get my Masters, likely in English or Art/Marketing.

Unless there is a really great deal on a [single] dorm room, I'd likely be living off-campus in a 1 bdrm studio or apartment, preferably with a washer/dryer. 2bdrm or home if I can afford it. I will not pay more than $700 per month. Nothing fancy, though safe and clean. Being allowed a pet would be cool, though not a big deal.

Most important: No big cities, please! I hate skyscrapers, subways, a ton of concrete, etc. Big city, ick. lol It's the claustrophobic in me; can't stand feeling landlocked and away from nature. I'd like a small to moderately sized campus, preferably near the beach, mountains, or lakes. Green green green, low to mid cost of living, and relative access to outdoor events or concerts.


7-1-10:
Well, Sean (Fat Jesus) just visited me; I drove him back to the airport 2 days ago. I had a blast!! Haven't had that much fun in a long, long time. I introduced him to chaos the likes of which he'd never seen (Warped Tour) and he, in turn, reminded me that there are still some good guys out there...even if I have to go all the freaking way to Montana and deal with lack of oxygen to find them. Lol! So thank you, Studly. You left quite a good impression on everyone out here. <3

Since I effed up and didnt actually post the linked pics from the Ice Nine Kills show in my last update, here they are again: [Pic exchange] and [dancing for me]. If you're an INK fan and want to see more pics, PM me. I'm too lazy to post them here. blaugh

They played at a small local bar and, as usual, I preferred to blast out my eardrums (Kids: Wear hot pink earplugs like me!) by standing right in center front of the stage. The band before INK were Dystrophy who blew out their drum set, so INK had time to kill before performing and I got to hang out with them. There were 4 other bands and Taproot was headlining. The lead singer of Taproot gave me a hug during their set and pat my curls. He could pat whatever he liked, dude was hot. xD Haha! And, oddly enough, some guy I'd been hanging out with all night gave me his # and told me to call him...but then told me later he was getting married that weekend. Yet he still expected to "hang out" in the future and go to MayhemFest with me. Wtf man? As his Mistress?? lmao!

Grinding up on a girl and buying her drinks, following her all over the place, when you have a fiancee?? I'd like to say that I was shocked, but I'm not sure much will surprise me these days. I blame the last year of my life. *wince*

However on a GOOD note, I close with this: I'm getting my internet back on 7/8. It's odd to realize that I havent missed it much since March. It'd be a hell of a lot more convenient though, let me tell you. whee I also purchased an xbox yesterday (due to my sis Justine's Red Dead Redemption recommendation-- which I LOVED), so add me if you'd like. If I don't know you, add a message and we'll see. My tag is also "comicfairy".


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3-21-10: *points to my thread*

Yes, it's true. And no, one person did not bring me to do this, though some of them did contribute. In the end, this was something I just had to do and I needed the freedom. It was my choice and I hope you guys support me and want to help me grow. I've neither gone emo nor turned into one of those people who swears never to return and foolishly gives everything away xd I'll still be around, just...a whole lot less. :] You can still contact me via PMs, though you may have to wait weeks or even a month for a reply. sweatdrop

I am not closing the Chateau down, but I AM taking a hiatus. So...I supposed we might say it is...closed for renovations? blaugh I would prefer people post at Justine's thread where I will be infrequently. I know you guys will like it as much as I do if you don't already!

I no longer have internet at my cottage -- and no, I won't be buying a service any time soon. I don't need the net. It has brought a whole lotta heartache along with the Happy.