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Searching for Wings So lately I've been recording my seeking spirituality here as well as details like weird dreams.


Adalyna
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The F word and Me... Fairies
The F Word and Me - Fairies
The words Faerie and Fairy and to a lesser extent, other variations, are so woven into my seeking, that trying to tease them out has been a cause for frustration, doubt, loss of faith, and depression. No other words in the English language seem to accurate describe what I'm looking for. To give an example of how tied to this word I am, my girlfriend often calls me "Pixie" or "Fae" or "Faerie" as a nickname. This is of course largely fictitious, I don't believe in otherkinism, I have beliefs that some of what we are in the spirit world affects us in life, but I'll get to that in another post. Its my nickname because I believe so strongly in that single word, its imagery and what it represents to me. When I had a profound religious experience, my friend immediately replied "you found the fairies?"

I've been looking into the word Fairy and what it means to me, and what it means to other people. I've often seen many dictionary sites point to the etymology of Fairy as coming from the word Fatum, meaning fate. Part of my Question was, Does fairy in and of itself imply a closed tradition. Aside from that, working on the assumption that it might, I needed to figure out what the word meant to me, and what it was I was really looking for.
Wikipedia
I started with Wikipidia, I know Wikipedia isn't known for its accuracy, but I was using it as a starting point to find other areas of research.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy#Origin_of_fairies

Spirits of the Dead, seemed unusual to me. What separated Fairies from ghosts? It seems to cite celtic mythology specifically Irish and perhaps English mythology as equating Fairies to the dead. In a modern context, which tends to be fictional, this use seems extremely rare. I've seen a few video games use this, but that's it.
I've never seen Faerie communities of Believers use this interpretation.

Wikipedia associates them with Elemental spirits, Gnomes Sylphs Undines and Salamanders, and I have seen them often in fiction portrayed as being starkly connected to an element, or group of elements. I do myself believe denizens of the spirit world who have a nature similar to this. I confess, I have not yet studied alchemy or the origins of the specific myths mentioned here, sometimes used as correspondences in books on eclectic witchcraft.

Another belief seems to be demoted angels, that were not evil enough to be in hell. Again returning to the myth of the dead, I've seen mention in some books (I'll try to add citation later) that pixies were spirits of unbaptized children, or that they were spirits of those, similarly, who were too good to be sent to hell, and too evil to belong in heaven. Ahh it would be so easy if I only believed that. Pixies probably belong to a closed culture anyways.

Demons entirely, have been the association of some modern fiction, including video games. Disgaea has a curiously elfin, and fae quality to the art, in spite of being a game series about demons from the netherworld. Wikipedia cites Shakespeare's A Midsummer Nights dream for this as well.

Finally one of the spookiest myths on fairies is that they were literal tangible beings, that walked the earth.
Gerald Gardener

There is evidence for these pygmy races in Europe. Many rock dwellings are too small for a modern
man but are very comfortable for children. People of the invading races who had driven them out of
the best lands were inclined to dislike them as they raided their crops and killed their cattle. In time
they found that if the Little People were well treated they would become friendly and help them, as
when the Little Folk came to the aid of the Southerners in their battle at Fairy Bridge.

He goes on however to refer to this group, perhaps of an actual living ethnic group, as Fairies, and his description seems eerily mythological as he ascribes them to having extreme talent with magic and psychic phenomenon.

If this is the true definition of Fairies then of course, there is no point in seeking A "fairy" religion, why would i need a religion about groups of people who at one point lived in the world. It would seem disrespectful to their cultures and the cultures that surrounded them.

Fairies as Animism
W.Y. Evans-Wentz

THE promise made in the Introduction to examine the Why of the belief in fairies must now be fulfilled by calling in the aid of modern science. To adduce parallels when studying a religion or a mythology is worth doing, in order to show the fundamental bond which unites all systems of belief in things called spiritual; but it is more important to try to understand why there should be such parallels and such a unifying principle behind them. Perhaps there has been too much of a tendency among students of folk-lore, and of anthropology as a whole, to be content to do no more than to discover that the Eskimos in Greenland hold a belief in spirits parallel to a belief in spirits held in Central Africa, or that the Greek Pantheon (and possibly the Celtic one as well) consists of goddesses which are apparently pre-Aryan and of gods which are apparently Aryan. We, too, have drawn many parallels between the Celtic Fairy-Faith and the various fairy-faiths throughout the world; but now we should attempt to find out why there are animistic beliefs at all.

http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/ffcc/ffcc411.htm
In this paragraph Wentz ascribes Fairies as associated with animistic beliefs in general. Brian Froud, also seems to tie in his art with animism. If this is the case then I'm already an animist. I should be done with my seeking. But if this is the case what exactly does Fairy mean, if My fairies, and someone else's spirits are the same thing. It means that it means absolutely nothing. It means that their only fairies through the cloudy lens of my subjective experience, and that through another's ability to perceive the spirit world, not Fairies at all.

Fairies in association with witches
Charles G. Leland

"Gladly would I be like you, O fairies!" said the youth, "free from care, needing no food. But what are ye?"
"We are moon-rays, the children of Diana," replied one:--

"We are children of the Moon;
We are born of shining light;
When the Moon shoots forth a ray,
Then it takes a fairy's form.
And thou art one of us because thou wert born when the Moon, our mother Diana, was full; yes, our brother, kin to us, belonging to our band."

Ahh... I was full of romantic wistfulness when I read that. Ah yes witches are secretly fairies! of course it all makes sense I've been a Fairy all along.
Nothing's that easy. I try to nudge myself away from self gratifying beliefs, no matter how giddy they make me. This isn't the only time I've seen fairies associated with witchcraft however. I've heard this from a number of ravenwolf-ites that they believe in fairies, and it seems common in eclecticism in its more embryonic stages, but less so in developed eclectic beliefs. I guess I'm supposed to grow out of it. That said I've seen it in more serious places, as gardner again, in Witchcraft today, mentions fairies or "little people" as interbreeding with witches. T. Thorn Coyle refers to the spirits and thought-forms used by some witches, perhaps an integral part of Anderson Feri tradition, as Faeries, and Starhawk in the Spiral Dance, refers to being stuck in a trance state as being "lost in Faerie"

Otherworld
One belief I find at least, personally integral to the term Faerie, is the belief in other worlds. Many modern fictions of Faerie, often show hidden worlds either from within a persons mind, or from some place beyond, as being tangible and accessible. This most certainly is an integral part of my seeking. I believe that there are more tangible otherworlds. This again, is relative. Valhalla and Asgard, Heaven, Hell, and Hel, are all otherworlds. Are they Faerie? I don't know, but it doesn't quite have the same ring.

Fairies, as wicked, vile, cruel or wretched things to be hated and avoided
But Ms. Sara, your fairies are not quite scary!
I hear this kind of thing from a lot of the pagan community. I know that a lot of Fairy creatures in their original mythological context, were feared and appeased, and the perspective is that I'm incorrect in my assessment of Fairies because of this. I'm not any more trying to re-create the modern horror trope of Faerie than I am trying to create the Tinkerbell romanticism (though Tinkerbell can be quite vindictive). I'm not a re-constructionist. I'm not part of any of these traditions which reviles its fairy creatures. People speak of appeasement and worship as these two opposite extremes and neither describes my relationship to things I believe are Fairies. Their not good, unless for some reason it is in their nature to be good, Their not wicked either, unless that specifically is a part of their nature. I've read the brothers Grimm. I've read the stories of fairies stealing children and leaving fairy children in their place, or sacks of wheat, or letting the body die. I've read stories of fairies poking the eyes out of anyone with second sight. Fairies, as I believe, can most certainly be terrifying, vindictive, selfish, cruel, horrible creatures, and as a rule, are probably more dangerous than not, but I cannot bring myself into this re-constructionist revulsion I seem to be expected to emulate. I guess in all honesty, I can't bring myself to believe their all entirely hostile either. Anything like that out of me would be a false attempt at trying to fit in with another culture.

So what exactly does Faerie or Fairy mean to me
I still obviously, haven't quite figured that out. It seems almost impossible to deconstruct the word into having any other meaning. I do feel that However that the term is too broad to in and of itself imply entitlement to a closed tradition. That said the word Faerie is a little riskier, since it is a french word, I'm not sure if it's the same word used specifically by the Breton, but in all honesty, I doubt it. That said I have no more desire to create Breton culture rape than I do to create Irish or Cornish culture rape, no matter how fond I might feel from an outside perspective, of these cultures. In fact the fondness creates all the more reason to preserve the integrity of these cultures.

I've seen Fairies associated with the norse Vanir, and even with Freya and Frey specifically. I've seen them associated with the Alafar and with Vanaheim and Alfheim. I've seen Fairies associated with Nymphs of greek culture. With Satyrs and Fauns and with Dryads. I've seen them associated with Mermaids, Sirens and Nereids, and even with the God and Goddess I worship, or at least, similar dieties. All of these while calling them Fairies, themselves, or incorporating them into my own mythology, might be stealing or de-contextualizing, are open traditions in their original context.

I feel many people would criticize me because so much of my belief system is inspired by fiction. I do not literally believe in one fictitious portrayal of "faerie" however. (Unless I was doing so in ritual, from the standpoint of chaos magic) I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know other people are out there who feel as I do too. There are tons of "Faerie" communities, most of them notoriously associated with "fluffy" paganism and with Misappropriation. Just because they do not care about appropriation, doesn't mean I can't have similar beliefs and care enough to be responsible and ethical in my eclectic approach.

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/derbyshire-fairy-hoax.shtml
This while a hoax, was created by a believer who was an artist. The Cottingley fairies were another hoax phenomenon, and sir Arthur Conan-Doyle got himself all riled up, surely my beliefs are not quite that childish.

I do not have a single myth to call my own. I have no signposts to find the next step. I don't really understand culture, so I'd rather err on the side of respect. Claiming I have the rights to share "fairy" or even "faerie" with other people might not even be correct. I must give the pixies back to Cornwall, and the goblins to Mann and wales. Elves belong in Alfheim, and who are fauns nymphs or dryads if taken out of their context? I cannot work with a single one of these myths, I must create every myth every story that is to be mine as though I were writing a fiction. Sometimes, I feel that the fairies are indeed what I am seeking, and nothing else can take their place, and that they really are out there, but that their knowledge is closed to me, I am not to be a part of their world, to to know them or find the answers I seek. Forgive me if I sound a bit bitter, its not as though I don't appreciate the value of appropriation, its simply that, in writing this, as a seeker, I feel a bit alone.

Summary of the sources I used. Mostly open source material, is that a sign of bad research?
Aradia, The Gospel of the Witches. Charles G Leland
http://www.sacred-texts.com/pag/aradia/index.htm
Wikipedia Article, Fairies
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy
The Fairy Faith in Celtic Countries. W.Y. Evans-Wentz
http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/ffcc/index.htm
Gerald Gardener "Witchcraft Today" I have this as a pdf, I'd provide the link later.




 
 
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