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i know it's been along time, but i'm kind of trying to get back into rp again. sorry if i dont remember all of you but it's been 4 years. if you will please let me know who you are or were back then, that way i can remember you.

The pain i feel as i lay here in this bed of sorrow
only gives company to the hate ill feel tommorrow
you told me you loved me but out of the blue when all i can think of is you
me heart becomes used as a door mat.

i said it was ok
i didnt say go away
i just wanted for another day
or maybe another way
to say just out right say
every thing would be ok
for me and you
for me to become able to do
all the things i dreamed
but on this day it seemed
id lost that chance
to dance and play with my girl

as i lie in my world of huirt
my finders dig into the earth
i give birth to a whole newfeeling
looking up at the ceiling i think of what could have been
and then i feel a sin
a feeling welling upin my throat .
these tears
these fears
that ill be alone
and never shown

the feeling i gave
the feeling that saves
the soul from growing old
and cold
i feel this hate break through the gate
and give way to fate
but then i think and sink into a feeling
of relief but then again
it could be grief
i close my eyes
and lookat the stary skies
of my mindwhere everythings kind and blind to the pain it holds
i walk through the vast grassy fields
my bare feet not pricked or stricken with pain
am i sane
is this real
no
its a dream
a fantasybeyond the true realities
of these vast green seas ((my eyes))
that grow dark every passing hour
to give way to the showers of joy the kind and nieve people in my head that keep wanting to escape
the stupid eternal undead that
keep me company through my many
heart breaks
when i raise the walls
that will never fall
nor go over the falls
of eternalsleep
i will keep these feelings
dark inside never to see
the light of day
ill go finaly and say
this is the day
the day i lost my feeling
tword the stupid rave of things they call humans
and now i sit here only to die cold and alone

Love is lost but at what cost
Allme trust and all my lust,
Pput into this one relationship
But it let it slip,
I couldnt keep you,
The lack of sleep over you
All i knew is i loved you

Love is lost but at what cost,
I thought i lost ,
The only true,
My feelings for you
All i knew was that i wanted ou,
in my life
to be my wife,
through all the trifle petty fights
all those lost and lonely nights
just to hold you tight
giving my heart flight,


id see the light
through your eyes
i saw the skies
where all the lies
and all the pain
was left on that plane
((of exsistence))

Left behind
you were so kind
put my mind
in a better place

The empty space
i called my heart
Where all the smart,
and lonely people
Were left to keep
these feelings of pain
and sorrow company
all i could see was the pain
My eyesbecame inflamed
but then out of the darkness
here you came
all the same
i put the blame
of all the pain
on to you
my only true

My love was lost but now is found
all because of this lovely sound
this angelic voice
that brought me no choice
but for my heart to heal
my heart to feel
this beautiful feeling
that sent me through the ceiling

This thing they all love
finaly i know its for me
as i through you the key
to all i hold
near and dear
to all my cares
to all my fears
to all my pains
to all my soul
Love is found and at what cost
no more lost
feelings that i keep
all inside where they've
lied ((and although thought))
never died
I know ive lied
and i know youve cheated
but ive beated all my conceaded feelings
of malice and calysted feelings of hate

i believe it is fate
that brought us together
hopefully forever

I LOVE YOU
AND I KINOW ITS TRUE!!

Time....we all know what must be done...but do we take the oporunity to do what has to be done? some of us do and others dont....it is time for this bird to be off out of the nest...it might come back and it might not...it wishes you well while it is gone and hopes to see you once again. if it returns before it should then it wont be there for long. only it knows when it is time to return for good and only it can desicde...but do not dispare it will return one day or another...((if you didnt get this then pm me and i will tell you what it means...if you do and want to know what it is about i might tell you if you pm me...if you get it and dont care what it is about and want to know how to talk to me then pm me and i might let you know...but for now i bid the fairwell and safe journies to where ever you may go))

i have to move again....on tuesday...yeah it is official...couldnt find somewhere to stay...i dont care though really...but i dont get to talk to you ppl for a while...i will miss you all...i will try to find a comp as soon as i can to let you all know and stuff....and to be back....but i can tell...this summer is going to bite the big one....unless i can make my way over to meet li which i doubt that will happen...but still...i will get to hang out with my friend Red....that i met on gaia and went out with for a while RedDragonLF....and meet his friends and all so it should be all good....well i think that is it for now...talk to you guys when ever...

What would you do if:

[1] I committed suicide:
[2] I said I liked you:
[3] I kissed you:
[4] I lived next door to you:
[5] I started smoking:
[6] I stole something:
[7] I was hospitalized:
[8] I ran away from home:
[9] I got into a fight and you weren't there:

What do you think about my:

[1] Personality:
[2] Eyes:
[3] Face:
[4] Hair:
[5] Clothes:
[6] Mannerisms:

Other:

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you ******** me?
[13] Would you marry me?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are we close?
[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?


and fill this out as well

What Would you do if I:

1. killed myself:
2. pointed a gun to your head:
3. killed you:
4. said I liked you:
5. said I loved you:
6. kissed you:
7. made you cry:
8. told you an evil secret:
9. got into a fight and won:
10. got into a fight and lost:
11. got into a fight and died:
12. ended up in the hospital:
13. said I wanted to marry you:
14. asked you to lay down in bed:

What about:

1. my personality
2. the way I see things
3. my friendship with you

other:

who are you?
what are you?
how old are you?
are we friends?
do you like me?
do you love me?
would you hug me?
would you kiss me?
would you have sex with me?
would you marry me?
would you kill me?
what is your fondest memory you had with me?
am I lovable?
have I ever hurt you?
what about me stands out?
give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
do you wish I was cooler?
what do you think my weakness is?
what is something you would change about me?
how have I affected you?
do you think i like you?
do you think I love you?
do you think I would kill someone?
if I did kill someone, who do you think it would be?
do you think i'll get married?
how well do you know me?
what would you do if I quit gaia?
if you could give me anything what would it be?
what reminds you of me?
what about me makes you happy?
what about me makes you sad?
what do you think of me?
what was your first impression?
do you still think that way of me now?
ever wanted to tell me something but could't?
what is it you want to tell me but can't?
how nace am I, 1-10?
when and where did we meet?
how long have you known me?
how well do you know me?
are we close?
are you going to put this in your journal and see what I say about you?

I have little more than a week to find out where i am going to stay...i hate this...why cant things be symple again...yesterday i went to the carnival before work...rode 8 rides and got sick....didnt throw up but was sick to my stomach...and i had to work couldnt leave it out...i had to become a dishwasher...i hated it...i also burnt my hands on a freaking hot pizza pan...that sucked because the hot water hurt...and when i got off work my bf called and i talked to him...he was in a dark mood which caused me to go even darker...and my mom woke me up too erly so i am tired still...my mom still doesnt know where we are going....she is going to go look tomarrow...if i dont have a place to stay then she said i have to go with her...i dont want to do that....i have to work untill the 18th....and then ihave to come back here on the 20th...i dont want to do that either...gawh...just a crappy mood today...i wish things would change and soon...but that wont happen really....and to top it all off i wont be able to talk to my bf untill sunday or monday*sighs*well i think that is it with my petty complaints.....