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I can see the words come out of my head, its almost like an addiction to me; putting them all in order and down someplace, just so that I can read them again sometime. If all else fails, I can think up something and write it down. If only it were always easy. Its rarely easy to make everything in my mind make sense to anybody, even me, when I read something over again. Always, it needs to be tweaked and pulled. I wish things were easy. But they most times aren't. Its so frustrating!

I've always liked easy things. I never liked to do things the hard way. If getting someone to shut up finally once and for all (or at least for the time being) meant that I had to let them hit me, and admit I was wrong, then I would do it. I have no pride that cant be spared in that respect. If making my back feel better after a long day hunched over a keyboard meant to crack it, then by al means, it would be done.

Augh. I sometimes get distracted from what I'm thinking. I forgot what I was goiong to write in favor of the television, and the commercial about animal cruelty that was on. I hate that commercial. I can't afford to pay anything towards the humane society, and yet, that commercial always finds me, making me hurt inside. I don't like that feeling. I may alrady have to say goodbye to three people that I deparately do not waht to, but I have no choice in the matter whatsoever. It makes me want to cry. But I won't. At least, I'll try not to.