"Identity? You're fussin' cus your kid told you he wants to find his identity? Why, that's just plain ridiculus. How old is he? 13? Your boy is 13 years old and he's already trying to find his place in the world? And you are complainin bout that? What's wrong with you? You stupid or something? Boy, if my son said somethin' like that, I'd be proud... For you can be sure that MY son's don't say nothin' bout no duties.... no dreams..... no ambition! They just wanna go through life. Floatin', like. Don't ever talk to them about bein' somebody. Not worth it. I tried. No use. All my attempts have faded to dust.
"So, when I hear you complaining about your sons looking for their identity, why it makes wanna punch you in the face. It's makin' me wanna get your boys and show em a thing or two about the world, how it works, what it's like out there. It's tough, you should know. Show em how tough. Show em your scars. Why not? They are yours for heavens sake. Just show em sometime. Say, 'son, you want to see somethin?' and when they say yes, tell them a bit of your life. Not alot, just enough to get their appetites wetted. They'll come. Believe me, they'll come.
"You remember the old days of your youth? Those times were hard weren't they? You always wished they had been easier huh? Pleasant-like, you know? Hell, I remember those times, when I was a chillen. I used to hang around the pond and wonder about stuff. Nothin' important, just stuff. Or other times I wouldn't even think. Do you ever wanna go back to times like those, just so you could have that time? Just so you could take your time, all slow and calm and cool and sweet. Sweet as summer rain on a warm day. Sweet as pump-kin-pie. Yup, I recall those days. I never thought things would turn out like this. Never thought about the future. Wish I had. I wish I could go back, to wonder about what the future, what now would be like... if this [looks around] had changed. If I had married some other guy.... if I had read more books, learned more.... what would life be like now?
"Better, I know that."
She leaned back in her rocking chair. The wood creaked under the weight as the wind picked up.
"Boy do I wish."
She watched the birds passing before the baby started crying, before her husband came home from a 12 hour shifts, tired and grouchy, before the sun would set and she would lie down in her uncomfortable bed, exhausted. This moment was for her. It reconized what she had accomplished in her lifetime and what potential she had left. Too bad it was a short moment.
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Kajadea
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