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So, it's been over two years since Devon died... And though I should really make it private, I won't. People should know about this.

When Devon died, the person I was, Claire, died too. I'm not her anymore. I'm not the loving, innocent woman I was who would do anything for the man I loved and would stand up for what he believed in, for the things we agreed on. When he left this world, my own shattered into sharp little fragments around me. I became broke, destroyed, and lost. I didn't know what I was anymore. I didn't know who I wanted to be or what I wanted to do with the life that was left over. I knew I had to rebuild myself but for a long time... I just didn't want to. I just sat in my misery, wishing there was someone out there that would understand what I felt, what I was going through. But no one really understood.

Left with my son and a family that cast me out for doing what I believed in, blaming me for the death of the man I gave my whole existence to, I didn't know what to do with myself. So, I stood back and sifted through what I had. Out of the false family that I had, I looked for those that were true to me. People like Yuni and Rei. I kept them in my life as I moved on from the family that judged me and blamed me for everything and had no sympathy for a woman who had just lost everything.

After more time passed, I went looking for a new family. That's when I found Stormy again. The woman I had stood up for that put my who family against me, even my own husband. But I don't regret being on her side with her daughter S'Aura. Crimson had no right to do what he did to her so in the end, I believe I did the right thing. She welcomed me into her home and gave me a family that made me happy and believed in me. However small it was. She understood what it felt like to be betrayed and alone and she was able to be there for me when nearly no one else would be. So I made my own family out of people that loved and cared for me and left everyone behind.

When Devon died, I died too. But now I'm myself again, like I was when we first met before our false family changed him. I kept his Claymore when he was so proud of and carried happily and gave them who they made him into when I left them the scythe that he had begun to use in the end. Though I don't have anything physical to hold of him and remind me of him, I have something even better. I have the memories of us together and the sweet words we shared back and forth. I have him forever in my heart as the man he was, the man that loved me and would stand up to a make-shift father for me, who would always be on my side no matter what.

So it's true that when he died, I died too. But I found myself again. This is me letting go of the pain everyone left me. And even though I'm doing that, I will always remember the man I loved and married four years ago as he was. Sweet, loving, sorrowful but happy, and always there for me. He was mine and I was his and that is how it will always be. I will never move past the loss of him but I don't really want to. It's a pain I will feel forever and I will do so happily. It's the least I could give to the man I loved.

Finally, I just want to say one last thing. Devon. When we were married, I would give you everything. My whole life if it would save you. If I had the choice, I would have died that day on your behalf. I always did and always will love you, even still now that you aren't here anymore. You always have a place in my heart that was designed just for you, even if I didn't know it until I met you. No one else could have fit there, no matter how much I tired as a young teen. You will always be my love, the man with the Claymore and silvery eyes that charmed me by the fire. Thank you for the son you gave me. He has grown into a strong man that loves as fiercely as you. I'm only sorry you never got to see him grow and become strong and that you only saw him once in his life. You would have been the most amazing father to him. I miss you every day and still think of you every second. Thank you for every memory, every kiss, every sweet word. I love you Devon.