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AND NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT!! |
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LEWA GREENLEAF'S TOP LIST OF PEOPLE WHO ROLL, OWN, OR ARE SIMPLY MORE AWESOME THAN OTHER PEOPLE EXTRAVAGANZA!
(This list willbe constantly updated! The order they appear is not in any specific order)
Chris Hansen of Dateline MSNBC: Not only down he roll/own literally hundreds of ***** every week, he is also an ego-maniac! Watch his show and count the number of times he says his own name, Chris Hansen. make it a drinking game with you and your friends and I guarente that your party will be a success! Just make sure that no underage girls/boys are there, or you may be hearing the line, "Why don't you have a seat over there, right there." Really soon.
Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report: Stephen Colbert (prodounced Kol-bear) is America. If America manifested into a sentient being and put on a suit, this is who America would be. He eats, breaths, drinks, sweats, and deficates the American spirit. He literally oozes with patriotisim, and festers with pride. Although all of the words that come out of his mouth aren't nessicarily the truth (don't tell him that) he is guarenteed to make you laugh, but mostly a bad way. Stephen Colbert is America and so can you!
MADDOX of www.thebestwebpageintheuniverse.com: Egotistic, sexist, vulguar, megalomaniac and genius. I think those are the best words to describe MADDOX, creator of the self proclaimed, "best web page in the universe". His massive rants and "in your face" tactics will leave you speachless, laughing and erect/moist... Or both!
Matt Stone & Trey Parker, creators of South Park: Since their first movie "Cannible the Musical" was released, Trey Parker (also known as Juan Schwartz) and Matt Stone have been showing how ridiculus the world really is through the eyes of average American people. Their show South Park has caused controversy as well as many a soiled pant. Though their show seems to be under much less fire, mostly because Politicians stopped blaming the show blindly, and started watching it and finding out that it makes alot more sence than you'd ever think. Did I mention they get visited by a singing poo (Mr. Hankey) and a talking towel with a drug problem?
John Walsh host of America's Most Wanted: John Walsh has one wish. And that wish is to see every single human being in America put behind bars. He is seen cracking skulls, varying from top 10 most wanted, to petty parking violators; It doesn't matter! If you do the crime, you will do the time! Even if it is just a car ride to the station so your parent's can pick you up because you were breaking cieling tiles at a YMCA women's bathroom, he will see you pay! One thing you must understand is that EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING IS A CRIMINAL! Except John Walsh.
Bruce Campbell of The Evil Dead series: If chins could kill, we would all be dead! With his rugged "prince charmingly" good looks, large chin and 1970's hippie one liners, Bruce Campbell can handle anything from Demonic Zombie Girlfriend's to mummies that suck the souls out of senior citizens asses! As long as Bruce Campbell had his trusty boomstick, and rusty chainsaw he could accomplish anything (like time travel)! Bruce Campbell has since settled down and now swoons beautifull women in his giant mansion while singing them classic 80's songs with his piano accompaniment. Women can't get enough of him, and men can't stand not being him. AHOY!
David Hayter as the voce of Snake in the Metal Gear series: When was the last time you single handedly prevented war with Russia? Or killed your own father with a flamethrower made from an aresol can and lighter? Or killed your own brother whilst defending America and the rest of the world from Nuclear war? Or destroyed a giant bipedal tank with a chain gun, lazer, and can launch missils from it's knees, and a nuclear missil? Exactly... That is why David Hayter is such a badass. Not to mention he kind of looks like Eric Bana.
Jack VanDerGeest, survivor of the Holocaust: German Nazis? Piece of cake. Surviving a deathcamp? Yawn. Beating in a Nazi solder with his won helmet and killing him, taking his uniform, escaping Auschwitz, joining the French Underground, becoming a translator for the American 101st airborn, meanwhile taking peple back in fourth from war torn Europe into not so war torn Europe, then writing a book about all of it? Been there, done that. Jack VanDerGeest remains to this day the greatest human being to walk the earth, and best of all he rocks the US with his presence. Plus, I talked to him one time on the phone. Best phone call, ever!
Sheriff Seth Bullock of Deadwood: What kind of man does it take to bring justice to a whore ridden, wretched hive of bandits, rapists, theives, crooks, and ruthless gunslingers? It takes a man like Seth Bullock. He not only slapped the crime out of Deadwood South Dakota with his d**k, but he also shot a guy in the eye one time witha revolver. Now that's a ******** man!
Clive Barker, author, creator of Hellraiser: Probably the most manly gay artist onthe list... And only gay artist on this list. He is a master of horror, weather it be in writing, or in his paintings. He has brought us some of the most chilling and mentally disturbing movies and monsters that the world has ever seen! With his sudo-religious immages, and bondage like torture scenes Clive Barker will tear the flesh from your bones!Weather it be his Hellraiser series, or his children's book, the Theif of Always, he is sure to scare the hell right out of you!
Johnny Cash as in Man in Black: He shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Enough said.
George Carlin: He's as crude and intelligent as he is old! George Carlin has been entertaining and shocking audiences for half a century. He makes the horrible truths of religion and human nature so clear, that he'll have you questioning your own existance. He exposes the raw nerves of the crude, vile, dirty, disease ridden lives that we humans call enjoyable. Why are we here? What happens when you die? Is there a god? Did I send Aunt Burnece that recipe? Who the ******** cares?!
update soon! If you don't see a name on my list that you think should be, let me know in my comments below.
Lewa Greenleaf · Sun Nov 04, 2007 @ 06:44am · 2 Comments |
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