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I lay awake at night, her voice is whispering to me, coaxing me into sleep. She's not here, but she consumes my mind, keeping the cracks from bursting open. She's miles away, but I can feel her hands stroking my hair. I can feel her breath on my neck; hear her voice in the wind outside.
I'm terrified to sleep, afraid that she'll leave me. Frightened she'll never return. I feel a piece of myself shatter at the thought. I wonder what I'll become when there are no pieces left to break.
She's saved my life more times than she realizes. Always seems to bring me back to my broken senses. Imagining the pain I would put her through if I attempted such a thing. I just tell myself that I'm already dead. She'll breathe life back into me one day, but for now I'll just have to keep myself from doing horrible things.
Every day, I feel her pain like it's my own. I feel the ache of loneliness ripping at my chest, tearing the seams apart until my insides are nothing but shreds of mangled flesh. Feeling as though I'm burning alive. The agony brings me to my knees more often than not. The despair that I feel fills me to the brim of insanity. Sometimes, it overflows, consuming me. I lose days at a time, lost in my own mind. Sometimes I fear I won't come out of it. Afraid I'll be trapped in my lost mind forever.
Yet, she always takes my hands and pulls me up from the darkness. No matter how far I succumb, she's always there in my mind, ready to wrap her phantom arms around me. Caressing my thoughts with her soothing presence. Making sure I don't do anything reckless, and I thank her for that.
I begin to fall into sleep's dark embrace and she gives me an imaginary kiss. I smile, and I know that she'll be waiting for me when I wake, ready to save me from myself...
- by Lovey Lovefruit |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 04/05/2012 |
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- Title: She saved me.
- Artist: Lovey Lovefruit
- Description: This was inspired during a rather difficult time for me. Due to my father being the one of the biggest homophobics on the planet, I was forced to be away from the girl I had met and fallen in love with. We were forced apart for three years. Last year, we were reunited with one another, and are now engaged.
- Date: 04/05/2012
- Tags: saved
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Stony Angel - 05/02/2012
- congrats!even the saddest beginnings get their happy endings,right?
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- jjajangmyeon - 04/05/2012
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so sweet... and congrats on the engagement! Seems like there can be real-life happy endings
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