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Ah, the question that rings in my head every day...
Should I stay and be a fake happy, just to make you all happy?
Lie to you, to make you think it's all good and merry?
Or should I act how I feel?
I'm afraid if I did that, Either everyone around me would be in pain and agony, hurt and emotionless by the end, or I would be gone...
Maybe a life of solitude is what will befall me...
Nobody really needs me..
Nobody really wants me either...
My heart is a shredded piece of crap, trampled and torn to s**t.
Nobody wants something like that... do they...
If I just die, everyone else would eventually forget about me, probably be happier too.
Although, if I killed everyone ... then no one would have to worry about it, would they?
A heart is a fragile thing, although it heals....
A soul is equally fragile... but once it is broken, it takes more than a lifetime to heal.
-Sigh-
I want everyone to be happy...
Tell me what would make you happy...
I'll do my best...
But if anyone would ever want to consider making me happy...
Tell me how to fix my broken soul...
My heart as well...
I don't know what to do with myself, can't you just live my life for me? Just for a little while?
I don't know what to do at all...
How to deal...
How to not care like some people...
It hurts..
How come it hurts so much?!
How come it won't go away?
Why can't I be happy for once, for real...
I catch a glimpse of happiness once in awhile... right before it flutters off into a darkness that I can't see in...
Catch me in a trance...
Call me to my mind...
Explain all this s**t that keeps seeping into my mind...
This acid, this sickly fog, seeping into my brain through my skull..
Get me out of here, get this notion out..
Why won't you help me?
Help me before my thoughts explode and I lay face down on the ground,
your foot upon my back...
I can't breathe..
I feel you killing me...
I want you...
but this hurts...
Finish me...
The bugs crawling through my hair...
Whispering to me..
Lift me up...
Take me away from them,
their corrosive whispers burning my ears...
Eating my thoughts...
Carry me home...
Keep me safe..
and don't ever ... let me go...
-sigh-
Take me from this place...
Help me hide...
Hide me from myself..
Hide me from the pain, the guilt, the world...
Keep me with you, no one else...
Don't let go... Don't let go...




What should I do now?
My heart's restrained.
I chain it down,
it hurts someone else.
I haven't so much as looked at them..
The hell do they want with me?
Go away, I want nothing to do with you.
Get away from me, I'll kill you in my mind.
Violence streaming through my head,
in my eyes, my mind, cruel thoughts overflow.
I want to be free, I want to be me.
You wouldn't understand, you're not yourself.
I can tell by the way you follow,
you follow the steps, the trends
the others tread before you.
The paths, the streets, the roads, the ways you could go
all lead you to one place, the place you'll go.
I leave you alone,
I'll never see you again
I'm lost and alone,
the way it will be forever.
I don't want you , nor do I need you.
Get out, go away.
I hate you, I don't want you.
Get away from me

I don't know what I need anymore...
I know life hurts me with every step I try to take...
I know what I want, it is not so selfish ne?
I know how much I want what I want and it feels like I need it to live,
live what little life I have left for me to live in this tattered spirit. This broken spirit.

I love two people.
One more than the other, yes, but now I'm hurt by both oddly enough.
Maybe I should just leave?
Give me a reason to stay.