Is it right to feel alone on stupid holidays like the 4th of July? I mean... Sitting all alone as usual but I felt even worse. Could it of been the holiday or just my emotions running rampent? I often wonder how I could be so happy when I am with friends, but feel so depressed when I am alone. Sometimes when I am alone, I feel an invisible arm around me... But that makes me hurt more, wishing that the hand was real. Wishing that someone really WAS next to me and had their arm around me. Sometimes it hurts so much that I just don't want to do anything at all. Just sit and draw my feelings away. But what happens when I can't draw? There's only so much I can draw in a day.. And what about doing puzzles or mindless stuff? Sure, it's fun.. But it gets boring often. So what am I supposed to do to surpress the feeling of longing? The feeling of, "I wish someone held me?" It bugs me often. But is it wrong? It's a crappy holiday! But it makes me sad, the thought of watching the fireworks, something so romantic, alone.
