I hate this so much
I hate living here I hate these stupid projects and I hate these stupid boys I have a boyfriend damn it just leave me alone.
...I...I think I have one, atleast. Apparently Josh isn't going to well since, oh wow stare , again he's...acting all weird and stuff. I wonder whats wrong with him, I'd ask why but he usually gets quiet when I ask whats wrong with him. sad I'ma keep trying, though...'cause I still love him, alot, no matter what. 3nodding
&_& Silly Onii-san, I didn't mean you. sweatdrop See...plan was, make a new Gaia account and PM ya there buuuut...well, I dunno. I know its not exactly convinant for you to have to go to the library everyday and I don't want to inconvience you 'cause you seem uber busy now. sad I wanna make things nice and simple for you, Chris, so if you wanna continue Gaia PMing I won't kill off Luma...but if you do wanna continue, I'll happily trudge along 'cause its so realving to talk to you.
...I'ma PM that to you, incase you don't read here. sweatdrop Hopefully you'll get online atleast once to tell me a yes or a no.
Hmm...today was good in school. whee I was so happy...dunno why, its like the whole thing with Shadow has made everything brighter. Eh, expect the Kevin issue. He messaged me, once it was convient for him, a bunch of times last night but now he will have to work on my schedule. For now on, only people who are special to me get the privlage of haveing me work around them...and so far, that list is just Chris and Josh. 3nodding
Speakin of JOsh...oy...again...::sigh:: .....
...tee hee, I'm giggling right now. Happy thoughts of Josh fill my head now...I usually only think happy stuff about him for the past 4 or 5 days. redface Actually...I think those are my only thoughts towards him. Happy-happy-fun-time Joshie thoughts whee ...although I seem to only be upsetting him and making him think badly of me. sweatdrop If I keep at it, I have to get it right with him sooner or later. whee
Bleh...I still can't believe that guy hit on me. I mean, beh...I shoulda said I was 12 or somethign...then again... sweatdrop I don't exactly look 12 so that wouldn't work. Whnever someone asks my age I say 17 all proud 'cause I am one year from adult hood and one year from someone I wanna see really badly, so like... gonk my mind forgets who I'm talking to sometimes. Stupid boys &.& I had my headphones on and my bookbag to damn it why the hell would he talk to me he's like way friggin older!! Way upper friggin 20's gonk ...it upsets me, stare like makes me so damn mad...I don't want the boys to talk to me I mean...for gods sake...look at me today!
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</center>... sweatdrop I wouldn't takl to me or try to get my number I look like a friggin kid. xd Shaddaria and Brad said with my pigtails I look like I'm ready for a guy to take me from behind and use my "handel bars". xd
I feel really happy today for some reason. whee 3nodding I feel like giving the world all my love and laughing in the face of those who don't want it. whee It feels so good inside to love again~!
Mmm....mom has some strawberry cheesecake downstairs. ::drools:: I want it...so bad...its the only kinda cheesecake I'll eat. heart I could eat it all day and all night if it wasn't so bad for me. xd Oh! And mom bought me a mic thingy like the kind telemarketers use...so you cna hear me talking. Look at my yahoo profile, I have it there.
<center>****LISTEN TO ME TALK****
"Hey guys, its meeeeeeee, ah...god I have alot ah names. You might know me by Luma, Zakia, Lulabi...um...Sarena. Or you could just know me by my real name, Courtney~! So hi, this is Courtney~! Um...I dunno what else I'm suppse to say here, so just hi and bye. "</center>
4laugh
School was good today too~! ...oh wait, xd I already said this~! Tee hee...lemme rant more, heart I mean, a few days ago I woulda been moping abotu oh how horrible life was and no one loved me blah-blah-blahhhhhhhh.....but like, whee It just feels ok now...ya know? I found strenth and hope in myself and I know if nothing else I have Chris ( whee love reading your letters~ heart ) and Josh, who tells me over and over again till I get it through my thick skull how much he loves me and is here for me. whee I can't lose those two... whee I wanna be here for them, and myself.
Soooooo huuuuuuungry.....and I'm suppose to be on RO leveling. xp It took for friggin EVER to uploaad that sound file.... sweatdrop but I got it done. wink
So bye bye~ heart
