My absolute favorite time of day is Twilight. I'm not really sure why....it justalways seemed to fit me. Someone in between it all. Someone who can't belong to one thing or the other. And I guess I've never had much of a problem with this. It was always just who I was. Something I couldn't change. But as of late I've been noticing everyone has something. Everyone has somewhere they belong. Even my boyfriend has his drumming, his cooking. Something that's his that no one can take from him. No one take music inside of you. Everyone belongs to some social group. Most of the poeple I hang with could be considered punk. But me....I can slip between goth, emo, punk, prep, and on occasion even gangster (which my boyfriend got to see) as if it were natural for me. I can switch between inner city girl to a country girl in the snap of my fingers. But that isn't mine. That isn't me belonging......that's me.....being a wanderer.
Which segways nicely into my addiction to Kenshin that's started up recently. Or should I say started up again. It's funny. The more I paid attention to Kenshin's actions and past I realized how much he and I are alike. Wandering....trying to protect everyone.....trying to repent. I mean....if that isn't me I donno what is anymore. I can associate myself to everything about him (except for the whole male female thing.) I mean...c'mon....we both have blue eyes. And my boyfriend says I look a million times better with Kenshin red hair then I did blonde. My eyes turn ice blue when I get angry...and push me far enough I'm sure we'd start entering the yellow range (and since it's a good idea to run when my eyes are blue....when they're yellow it's to late).
I've been gaining a strange fasicination in swordplay as late. And normally I'd just blame it on my boyfriend's interests....but....I donno.
As for sins. Heh. We won't got there. I have the scars to prove my sins.
Twilight is also my favorite book of all time. It's a romance between a human girl and a vampire. Bella and Edward. And anyone who's read the book and knowns me well knows I'm unhealthilly like Bella. And that my boyfriend is amazingly like Edward. Watching those two interact scares me. Makes me wonder if John and I will have that fairytale ending.
God.....a fairytale ending.
I probably don't even deserve one.
I mean Kenshin has a terrible ending. He never fully atones. Will I ever atone? Will I get all that I desire like Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice? Lizzie and Mr.Darcy are a lot like us too. But do we get to share their same fate.
I believe so.
And I donno why I'm up right now. I told John I was going to bed after my shower....I just needed to get this out.
I love you John.
More than you know.
 Evelie Harte · Mon Dec 17, 2007 @ 03:52am · 0 Comments |
