Every picture I look at since her death, I notice that even if I am smiling, it never reaches my eyes, there is that emptiness there.
In my grad pictures, in my modeling pictures. Everything past July 9th 2006, I am missing something in my heart that made me realize how I cannot be happy.
I know I do become happy, but does it show in my eyes? Is that why men love me so much? Because of the sadness I show in my eyes, this unwanted emptiness...
If that is the only reason they approach me then I don't want a boyfriend, I don't want them to be disappointed. This pain will never leave, I will not let it go, I will not forget, I believe there is only one man in my life who will fully understand that, and I believe in our eyes, we share that same emptiness.
Now let us see if we can meet that and live happily ever after...
shedevilkai Community Member |
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