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Hmm, I'm a very up and down person. Things that feel good make me also feel consequentially melancholy, and depression makes me feel fulfilled. I think there's more to life than happiness, and value what some people call bad, and try not to indulge in too much of one thing. What I love about my current girlfriend is that she helps me balance out some of the horrible things that I feel, because she's always positive and makes me feel great, even when she's sad or hurting. When I'm feeling blissful, she makes me feel melancholy in a very romantic and passionate way. I've been hurt a lot in my life, but I've met along the way a few truly great people, and she's one of them.

I love my friends, I'm lucky to also have some friends that are simply not selfish and not stupid. My life is chaotic and painful lately, so I am really thankful for that. I'm also thankful for the friends I have that always make sure that they are there for me.

Right now, I'm just really confused. I need to get back to my friends that really care about me and won't piss on me or drag me through the mud because they're feeling bad. Things are going to be okay, I just hope tomorrow studying makes me feel better and gets my mind of off the way I feel... For now, I think it'll just be weed and benzos. My adrenaline is pumping like crazy right now, so at least I'll sleep well and hopefully not be so stressed out tomorrow.