Mood: Frustrated
Currently Listening To: "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" - Nine days...i think?
Currently Listening To: "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" - Nine days...i think?
Gah...the past few days have been so ugly for me. My parents are getting me so sick. As in angry and frustrated. I mean they fight.....and fight......and fight. I mean, here's the problem with BOTH OF THEM.
Dad
He is always grouchy and is always yelling at either me, my brother, or my mom. Nobody ever does anything right excpt for him, but he doesn't even do everything right either. Since he's on a treatment for his Hepititis, he isn't supposed to be drinking, but I still think he does. He's going to hurt himself. Also, he talks to himself about how stupid we are because we do things a different way. Geez...Also, mom had a flat tire on her car yesterday, and we had to go to store for some ice cream to go to my Grandma's for my brother's *really* late birthday party. We couldn't do it because of mom's flat, so dad was going to bring us....He had gone fishing at about 6:00am. He said "I'm going for a FEW HOURS." MY a** a few hours. My mom had to call my Aunt to come get us and bring us to the store then take us to my grandparents' house. Mom and me were really embarrased that we had to call somebody to come get us because dad wasn't there. But he ended up showing at Grandma and Grandpa's house right after we got there...he didn't even apologize. He's been like that lately, he doesn't do anything for us.
Mom
Mom is usually the parent I like and I talk to, but not lately. She's been on the computer a LOT. Like, she kicks me off whenever she gets the chance...and she talks to this guy....his username is tazzy or something...she talks to him on party poker. Anyway, she never lets me sit and watch her play, because she doesn't want me to read what she types to tazzy. Anyway, one day, I sat by her, and tazzy sent her a message that said (watch your eyes kid) QUOTE "my d**k is real hard right now" .....WHAT THE ********?!?!?! I was all like "ewww." And my mom typed back that I was watching, so he said "Ok, then I'll just talk to you later." Well God...you could maybe just start a conversation about something else....like the weather...don't just end the conversation because I'm there. I was SO offended! Then, she said that I left when I really didn't, and then she put her hand on the computer screen so that when he sent her back a message, I couldn't see it. I got mad, and left. Another time he said that he had to go to court because he was drunk and got into a fight at a bar. Wow, he and mom have something in common. stare Anyway, he said in a message to not call his cell phone, because it got taken away, and for mom to try to keep in touch, and mom agreed. Like, WHAT IS SHE DOING WITH THIS GUY?!?!?! She talks to him on the internet, and possibly the phone? That embarrasses me and it makes me uncomfortable. She even told me to not tell dad, because he's get mad. Well, I'd get mad too! I'd hate to think that my mom is....you know. I mean, he might be some kidnapper and raper guy or something....and my mom has the damn nerve to tell ME to watch who I'm talking to. Then, one day, my mom and brother went to Wal-Mart came back, and Dain ((<--my little brother)) said "Tessie, if mom and dad split up, who would you live with?" umm....why did he ask me this? gonk I really wouldn't live with any of them, I'd go and live with my best friend if I could. I just said mom...and Dain said, "Okay, because we though that I would go with mom, and you'd probably stay with dad." I dunno....I maybe would. Then, later, my brother and I were playing in my room on the PS2, and he tells me "Don't tell dad or mom that I told you this, but mom was talking to Tazzy and she said that if her and dad ever had problems, she'd go and find him. He said that he lived in Kentucky and that he makes $32 an hour because he builds bridges, which is a high paying job." I was speechless. My mom is actually thinking about going to that guy...if he is a guy, because he said that he makes more money than mom and dad combined? Oh my god! I think he's lying.....I hate this tazzy dude, but my brother likes him.
So I don't know...I don't want my mom and dad to divorce, but that's the direction it's taking. And to think that if it happened, my mother would possibly run to this guy she talks to on the internet.I really don't know who to trust or like or favor anymore...I can't talk to either one of them, so I've been feeling really trapped and lonely lately. I'm even starting to cry right now, which sucks, because it makes me look like a wimp. I'm just so angry at both of them. I was thinking that if they DO get a divorce, and mom does go to Kentucky, I might go with her, because I've been wanted to leave this place...everybody I talk to knows I hate it here....but when I really got into thinking about it, I don't want to leave the friends I have. They're all I've got, andif I leave, I'll be leaving them, and I'll have to make new friends....So now that I really think about about it, I'd stay here, probably beg Olivia or Kirsten and their parents to let me live there....at least until I cleared out my head and figured out what I was going to do.
So that's what's going on in my family....if you'd even call it a family now. Now I'm listening to "Rockabye" by Sean...or Shawn Mullins. That song makes me cry evertime I hear it. gonk
Gah, I'm done. I don't feel like typing this anymore.
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