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Well now . . . for the lulz |
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Your essence is brown!
I wouldn't call you pure, but I'd call you laid back. You like to take it easy. You consider yourself an "old soul" and because of this, (for example) if you were offered cake, you'd give it to the kids across the street instead.
You are simple minded and ordinary, and you have no problem with this. In reality, you aren't "ordinary" at all. You allow yourself to be simpleminded because in the past you WEREN'T, and because you learned from this, you have decided not to be so complicated, and this singlemindedness works for you. This actually makes you a rare, wise person.
You give pretty good advice to your friends. You don't fight with your parents more than normal, if not, less than normal. You "go with the flow". You're very skilled at hiding what you're actually thinking behind a smile. You search for real love, even if your friends think you're a perv....even if you ARE a perv.
I took this just a few minutes ago. How accurate. If I'm not already like these traits, I have been trying hard to reach it. I've always been simpleminded to a degree, and I adore that. Just to be happy to be happy. Or because there's a flower on a bush in your yard. Or because your music player played a song you wanted to hear first.
I hardly argue with my family, lucky I guess. I love my family to bits.
Go with the flow: yeah, that's some thing I try to do as much as possible. Things are easier that way. Less stress usually if things don't turn out just perfect. Hard to get disappointed when you don't expect anything, but easily pleased when it happens.
Skilled at hiding what you're actually thinking behind a smile: Now there's something I can actually fess up to with pride. I've been doing it since the third grade, hiding my emotions/ Fronting them. Turning discomfort and levels of pain into enjoyment. It's only recently that I've actually been letting people behind this long standing mask of sorts. Only recently that I've been relieving it of it's duty. Or rather, not lying as much to so many people. Granted, it's just a few people (More now that this could be read, but will it be read I wonder.) but it is a start. I still don't know how I like it though, this not lying to people. Just have to give it time I suppose.
Search for real love... hm yeah. I suppose I do that. But who doesn't? (besides those rare few) I don't expect to find it, but hey, I can't be disappointed with it no results now can I? :]
And I guess that I've started writing this, I can't stop so easily. Especially since I couldn't convert the pain today, just mere hours ago. From 9 to 11 pm. I couldn't ignore it. And I couldn't stop the tears. And there was no one I could talk to. Well, let me rephrase, no one I could just bare myself to at the time. Well, one I was talking on msn with, well, I just couldn't bring him down like that. And another one of my friends that I would turn to was on, messaged me and was gone within 15 minutes of sending the message. And I didn't realize I had a message until they were gone. Could have called I guess, but I was scared of moving more than I had to for fear of the pain. Actually ******** scared to move, on my bed, because it hurt. What all time low was that? I even gouged my arm up with my nails as pain redirection. It helped after a while. Thank the gods my skin heals fast.
But what gets me is the suddenness of the event, or whatever it should be called. I was just surfing encyclopediadramatica for the lulz and chatting on msn, and then I couldn't bear the pain. The mere contact with my well worn denims on my skin was enough to make me sob so hard I think I pulled a muscle somewhere on my back from curling up.
But I guess I can clarify now for my own futures sake, I'm sure I'll forget within quarter of a day, that I'm not writing this for the pity, I just need to get this out. And well, the thought struck me to put it on here. Who reads these things really? I took the quiz on Quizilla for the lulz. And well, I ended up pouring out... whatever that was.
And now, I'll just continue on, none of this happened. I had no witnesses. And for all any readers care, this could all just be some horrid exaggeration or some nonsense like that. ; 3
 Madison de Point du Lac · Fri Apr 04, 2008 @ 06:04am · 0 Comments |
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