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She still makes me feel like she cares for me, in that way, she still hugs me, brushes my cheek, she still lets me hold her lovingly, but, it's all a lie, at the end of the day, the pain comes to me, i feel it tearing at my emotions, the worst part is, i'm being led into believing that we still have a chance to be together, because i care about her so much...but, it's all an act, i know that she thinks that by acting that way, she'll make me feel better, and it does, for a while, but, i don't know which i can stand, can i stand the pain and suffering i endure at the end of the day? Is it worth being loved...falsely?


All of my life, i've never found someone who loved me for me, nobody has ever loved me truly, and, all of my friends, and i do mean all of them, have at least been LOVED, not all of them may have ended up being together, but ALL of them, have been loved at one time or another, but not me, am i too weak, am i too unintellegent, or am i just, not good enough?

All of the things she does for me, are all just to comfort me, they're not real, they're all false gestures, and it makes me suffer at the end of the day, as i am typing this, i'm burning with the pain and sadness knowing that she does not care for me, that she only wants me to feel comforted, it makes me feel like she thinks that if she just comforts me, i'll be alright, and that i won't ever be in her way again, she's just comforting me to keep me out of her way, at least, that's what it seems like.

Perhaps, i'm not perfect in physique, or in grades, or in shear beauty, but, i thought people were deeper than all of that, but, it's starting to become less and less accurate, it seems as if nobody cares, my friends are moving on, they're happy, they're always at peace. Maybe it's time i stepped out of the picture...perhaps i don't deserve anyone to be with me, someone who appreciates being in love with me, not for my physical appearance, but my inner appearance...but, why should anyone else care? They're all happy, never to be pained again, they feel joy everyday thanks to their lovers, all except, me...