It had been a whole ******** week. All that Naruto had learnt about Sasuke was that he was a p***k. Not just a little bit of a p***k, oh no, he was a complete p***k. In fact at this very moment Naruto was hard pressed to think of anyone else that he knew of that was that much of a p***k.
Naruto still had a very moody Kiba on his hands for the Akamaru comment and so was now stuck talking (bitching/complaining/whining) to Sakura at her apartment. He wasn’t getting very far explaining his problem because Sakura was having difficulty understanding that Sasuke was part of the homo tribe.
“Naruto! For the last time, get it into your teeny weeny brain. Sasuke. Is. Not. Gay.” With that his pink-haired course mate turned, kicked him in the shins and went in search of her hair straightners, while cursing under her breath about moronic blonds that wouldn’t know what gaydar was if it rammed itself up their a**.
Naruto sighed and fell back down on the couch; rubbing his leg (Sakura was frighteningly strong). He figured that Sakura was just bitter because Sasuke seemed to be immune to Sakura’s attentions. The fluttering of eyelashes, the coy smile, the hair flick followed by the strut just didn’t do it for Sasuke, why? Because he was gay. Naruto yelled just that to Sakura who was now holed up in the bathroom. A hairbrush aimed at his head met that remark.
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Naruto had met Sakura on his first day at university. Being a fresher was hard; he had to look cool, flirt, be smart, charming and funny all at the same time. This was particularly difficult for Naruto because whilst letting a fart rip was extremely funny in his opinion, it wasn’t exactly charming to the ladies. They had met while Naruto was trying to do exactly this; demonstrate his personality multi-tasking skills at the freshers’ fayre.
The freshers’ fayre was where the students signed up for clubs and committees for the year, whilst having sweets chucked at them (bribing material) and loud rock music with the retaliation of even louder hip hop music blasted in their ears. Needless to say Naruto was in his element. He quite literally bounced from one booth to another signing up for everything, every single religious society, dance group, and green peace organization was met with the Uzumaki s**t-eating grin and his email address.
Then he had seen her, the green eyed goddess, standing at the water fountain tossing her pink hair in slow motion. It had been love at first sight. His approach had been carefully thought out, after all these weren’t high school chicks anymore; they were university chicks, older, more mature, and more importantly hotter, ooooooooh yeah.
“Hey baby, you come here often?” Of course this was Naruto; his pick up lines left something to be desired.
The green eyed goddess had turned, given him without a doubt the filthiest look he had ever received and raised a single pink eyebrow. Apparently everyone could this, just not Naruto.
Kiba, who had been watching from the sidelines, had done damage control. He had rushed in, grabbed Naruto in an arm lock and yelled an apology at the girl with the huge forehead. It had been something along the lines of: ‘Sorry, sometimes he escapes from his leash and manages to get the muzzle off, bad dog Naruto, bad dog!’
The next time they had met Sakura had been a little more forthcoming; she was lost and Naruto knew the way to the lecture theatre. It took a while for Naruto to stop attempting to get into Sakura’s pants, but she managed to quite literally beat the message into his head, often with the help of her textbooks. They had the same first year classes despite doing different courses. Sakura studied Medicinal Chemistry, Naruto studied Biomedical Sciences.
They were in their third year now, they had both matured and could handle their non-sexual friendship quite well; Naruto frequently leered at and groped Sakura, and Sakura frequently took the liberty of aiming a kick at his most prized (and most sensitive) possessions.
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“Naruto! You are not going dressed like that are you?!” Sakura emerged from the bathroom transformed from moderately pretty student to smoking hot please-spank-me woman. Naruto’s mouth fell open; he was getting in a lot of practice for looking like a fish. She was wearing black leather trousers with a form fitting white shirt that showed more than a little cleavage.
“Sakura, this is a stake out, we are just watching Sasuke over his lunch period.” Then of course it hit Naruto. “Ah I see Sakura, you think this is just like in the movies, girl and guy are holed up together in a stake out, and things get a little steamy…” Naruto waggled his eyebrows and leered, his leer was promptly removed from his face as he found himself being smothered with a pillow. These attempts on his life were starting to irritate him.
“For your information, a girl likes to dress up now again, it’s nice to look sexy, makes one feel good.” Sakura’s condescending response had Naruto burst into a fit of giggles, well it would have if she had removed the pillow before saying all that.
Naruto gasped for air and still managed to leer at the same time. “Hey Sakura, since Sasuke’s gay and all you might have a better chance now with all that leather, you know us gays, we’re suckers for leather.” Sakura’s look promised pain, Naruto took that as his cue to start running.
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Naruto was dressed in all orange. He wore orange boxer shorts, orange socks, an orange t-shirt and orange jeans. Sakura was stumped as to where he had managed to find orange jeans. She smiled sweetly at him and steadied her spying backpack. She hadn’t had to use it since she was thirteen. However Sasuke was special. That black hair of his was probably softer than a baby’s butt, and all the white unmarked skin just waiting for her to bite into. She sighed. Yes, Sasuke was special.
Naruto raised an eyebrow (okay he raised both of them, but he was trying!) at the dreamy look that crossed Sakura’s face. She was probably having dominatrix fantasies about what she could do to Sasuke. Naruto wasn’t worried, Sakura’s previous boyfriend, Neji, had turned out to be gay (Naruto liked to think Sakura turned Neji gay) she just had a knack for picking out the sexually unavailable ones.
They left the apartment and headed towards the lecture theatre where Sasuke was meant to have been filling in for the professor. They snuck in round the back shushing each other as they went and caught the end of the lecture which happened to be something about proteins. Naruto shrugged he’d know this stuff come exam time. The blond wasn’t paying too much attention as he was doing his fish impression again. Sasuke was striding confidently and his lips were moving. All Naruto could think about was as how much prettier those lips would look wrapped around his c**k.
He grunted when he felt something hard drive into his side. Sakura had just elbowed him, really really hard. “Ow… what’s the deal Sakura?!”
“You’re drooling,” Sakura deadpanned.
“Heh, well you would too if you could see what I was thinking,” Naruto shifted in his chair, he was developing a hard on. This was ridiculous, ‘The Dagger’ only seemed to respond to Sasuke nowadays, no amount of porn, gay or otherwise could deter ‘The Dagger’ from what it wanted.
Sakura sniffed, shooting him a disapproving glare and went back to drooling herself.
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At the end of the lecture there was there was the usual ruckus of everyone packing away their things, and the over enthusiastic girls attempting to strike up a conversation with Sasuke in the disguise of misunderstanding what the entire lecture was about. Naruto ducked down behind the seats effectively hiding him. A lack of orange might have helped but some sacrifices he just couldn’t make.
While Naruto was busy hiding, Sakura had been ambushed by Rock Lee. The bushy browed all-green-wearing third year was quite smitten with Sakura and was insisting on carrying her book bag (spy kit). She gave into her fate, she had learned that much from Neji, and allowed Rock Lee to escort her to lunch, whilst shooting glares at Naruto who was currently on all fours.
The lecture hall emptied eventually, it took twenty minutes for Sasuke to get rid of his admirers. The brunet did not leave the lecture hall and Naruto was not going to reveal his hiding space. Contrary to what he was doing, he did not want to appear as a crazy stalker. Sasuke sat there calmly marking papers. Naruto started to get a tad uncomfortable between his position and his still-there hard-on, he was very close to just attacking Sasuke and having his naughty way with him. What kind of guy didn’t get lunch?! The fact that Sasuke donned a pair of black rimmed glasses did not discourage The Dagger. It only made him harder.
******** ******** ******** ******** ********. Naruto tried to will away his erection; his efforts seemed to be wasted as mind led him along a different tract. He was imagining the expressions on Sasuke’s face as he ******** him on that desk. That desk over there, where Sasuke was still calmly marking papers.
Sasuke looked up, peered at the seats, apparently seeing nothing, went back to working. Naruto released the breath he was holding. God help me.
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It wasn’t until the lunch hour had finished, that Sasuke collected his things and made way for the next professor’s class. Naruto deemed it safe to emerge when Sasuke left and student’s started filing in. He was given an odd looks as he scrambled up from his position, stretching and popping his joints. He grinned sheepishly, rubbed the back of his neck and made a beeline for the exit.
Now where did Sasuke go?
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Well this was unexpected. Same situation all over again, Naruto had somehow ended up watching Sasuke from his hiding place behind the seats while Sasuke was still calming marking papers at that desk. The unexpected part was where Sasuke had leaned back in his swivel chair and started rubbing his crotch. Those dark eyes, partially hidden by glasses, looking straight at Naruto’s hiding spot. Sasuke’s had licked his pink very ******** lips and that’s pretty much all it took for Naruto to nearly come right there and then.
That is how that desk was now sans all papers and Sasuke’s very naked, very white a** was now parked on it, as Naruto thrust in and out of said a**.
“Oh baby, you feel so tight, ” Naruto grunted and panted as he tried to restrain himself from coming too soon.
Sasuke responded by licking Naruto’s face. His mouth, his eyes, his nose and cheeks were no longer strangers to Sasuke’s saliva. Naruto didn’t mind, it felt kinda good actually.
“Naruto,” Sasuke gasped, “Naruto, Naruto, Naruto!” The last part came out quite gruffly and then Naruto felt as if all the air had left his lungs.
He woke.
Kiba towered over him, holding a pillow menacingly.
“GAHHHHH!” Kiba’s face was not a pretty face to wake up to. What was even less pretty was when he turned to see what he had been holding onto (and grinding against) on the couch, was none other than Akamaru, who despite the atmosphere was wagging his tail and licking Naruto’s face quite happily.
“Ehehe, hey Kiba, I was uh, just taking a nap?” The pillow met his face.
“I asked you to watch Akamaru for an hour, one hour , Naruto, so that I could take my sister’s evil brainless cat to the vet, and I find you humping Akamaru?! I know you were getting desperate, but Akamaru? My Akamaru?!” Kiba continued to rant, gesturing wildly, causing Naruto to retreat and make calming motions with his hands.
Gaara made an entrance at this point. He lived next door with his siblings. The red head stood at the open door of the apartment, with his arms crossed, face expressionless and waited for them to notice him. This didn’t take too long, as Gaara’s blank green eyed stare could cause hives and alert anyone to his presence.
“Yo Gaara!” Naruto made use of Gaara’s impeccable timing. He leaped from his cowering position on the couch and attempted to rugby tackle him in a (manly) hug. He would have succeeded too if it wasn’t Gaara was all too used to this form of greeting from Naruto and sidestepped at the last moment. Naruto, by the laws of motion landed on the floor in the hallway.
“Keep the noise down.” Gaara intoned quietly, paired with the look that promised death to anyone who denied his ‘request’.
This of course did nothing to discourage Naruto, who started enquiring after Gaara’s health and if he was getting enough sleep, because boy hadn’t those rings around his eyes been there since they had met? Gaara was Naruto’s favourite emo. The bright red hair and the green eyes were the only colours on Gaara’s person. Ever. Gaara had an affinity for black, quite similar to Naruto’s love for orange, just less of an eyesore.
Naruto enquired, Gaara continued to stare impassively. Naruto enquired, Gaara continued to stare impassively. This little cycle continued for a while until Akamaru, bless his soul, decided Naruto’s leg was his new humping post. Gaara left, taking the oppressive tension filled silence with him.
Kiba was in shock. His precious Akamaru’s innocence had just been ruined before his eyes. Although Kiba didn’t know that this had already happened quite a while ago when Akamaru mysteriously disappeared in the park whilst playing fetch. While the owner had frantically searched, Akamaru had taken the opportunity to get frisky with as many dogs as possible.
“Kiba, we need to talk,” Naruto had his serious expression on. “Does Hinata know that you love and lust after Akamaru more than you do her?”
After being chased around the couch, while Akamaru yipped in a dog’s version of a cheerleader and until Kiba was too tired to run after the energetic blond, they settled back on the couch, playing videogames. As students, videogame practice was a top priority.
“The Dagger is in love with Sasuke,” Naruto’s nonchalant words caused Kiba to choke on his drink. The choking was followed by hysterical laughter.
“Dude, your c**k loves the new TA?” He wheezed out between his fits of laughter. “Oh man, you’ve got it bad.” A thoughtful expression crossed Kiba’s face. “You know, this is probably revenge of the c**k or something, for naming it something as stupid as ‘The Dagger’.”
Naruto’s face scrunched up. “Oi, it’s a very cool name, alright? You named yours ‘Stake’ c’mon, watched a few too many vampire movies lately?” Naruto sniggered. Then leered, “What does Hinata think of it?”
Kiba grunted. “You’re gonna have to speak a little louder there Kiba”.
“She doesn’t know,” Kiba muttered. “She’s Hinata, it’s not like that.”
Hinata and Kiba had been dating for quite a few months now. Naruto, sensitive character that he was, just assumed the shy nervous wreck of a girl was a wildcat in bed and that is why she and Kiba had lasted so long. He never thought Kiba had real feelings for the second year History student.
“Listen, man, I gotta go to work, I’m covering some shifts tonight, you know, need the extra cash.” Kiba rose, looking slightly apologetic and was he blushing?
Naruto still slightly dumbfounded at his having discovered his best friend was in a serious relationship, nodded and watched as Kiba grabbed his keys and exited their apartment.
“Well, boy it looks like it’s just you and me tonight?” He turned to Akamaru who had fallen asleep and was leaving slobber on the cushions and felt profound loneliness settle on him.
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Sasuke was having an internal tantrum. He was stuck yet again, helping first year students’ in labs. He was a PhD student, of course extra lab work would look excellent on his CV, but this was just getting absurd. His professor, Hatake Kakashi had been gleefully happy when Sasuke had applied for the position of TA. Usually a first year PhD student wasn’t applicable for a TA position. However Sasuke had demonstrated his capability through his series of top marks through out his time at the university; Sasuke was more than qualified.
Kakashi though, had taken advantage of this. Just because he wore some stupid eye patch and a stupidly long turtleneck that covered half his face and looked kinda cool, he thought he could use Sasuke’s need for academic recognition to con Sasuke into covering most of his lectures and taking his labs. So here Sasuke was, helping stupid first years, with their stupid experiments, while the stupid female ones gawked at him. To make matters worse all he could think of was the adjective stupid to describe everything around him in his stupid internal monologue.
Sasuke sighed, cursed Kakashi a little bit more and set about packing away his things. It was close to 7pm now because one student decided to do things at snail pace, effectively killing their tissue. Idiots, the lot of them.
He wasn’t the type of student to spend the evening getting incredibly drunk, having blackouts and generally pissing around. He was a good student; he planned, and worked meticulously. However, Sasuke was also human, and right now he needed vodka.
He donned his jacket and headed towards the union bar. On his way he thought about the blond moron Uzumaki who had been stalking him. Did the moron honestly think he wouldn’t notice? Especially with the orange clothing the idiot seemed to be so fond of. Sasuke was a private person by nature, and Uzumaki was testing his patience. He viewed it almost as challenge, to make sure the blond found out as little as possible about him.
So what if the blond’s image haunted his dreams at night. It wasn’t his fault, that his libido had hit a very low point and decided to find tall, muscled, tanned blonds attractive. Sasuke sighed, shook his head, and marched on to his destination. Sasuke was not the type to give into his sexual desires, some might call him anally repressed, he liked to think he was reserved, and a little aloof. So when Uzumaki had come forward and expressed his intentions ever so eloquently, it had been easy for Sasuke to sneer and turn him down. After all Sasuke didn’t have time for such frivolities.
Arriving at the bar, Sasuke grabbed a stool and sat down and ordered his drink from the spiky haired brunet serving. Sasuke didn’t frequently drink so some might call him a lightweight. He certainly didn’t know his limits. This is why just a few shots later Sasuke had turned from his primly dressed self, into a tousled haired, flushed face student with crumpled clothing, doing the clichéd thing of telling his woes to the bartender; who was looking increasingly panicked.
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