However this one, this one was of a different quality, or at least a little bit crafty. He took his drink, sipped calmly and remained quiet for the better part of that hour. In fact he had been a little bit too quiet, and it had unnerved Kiba slightly.
Quiet ones tended to have quite a lot of trouble attached, and he had learnt this from experience. His girlfriend, Hinata, had Neji. Neji was Hinata’s creepy a** cousin who had threatened to castrate Kiba within two minutes of meeting him. Come to think of it, this guy looked a lot like Neji. Maybe he was Neji with a haircut? Kiba peered at him, Nope, definitely not Neji.
Kiba liked to think he was macho; he could handle anything and be manly while he did it, but Neji? Well Neji had it in for him and in fact had a large collection of swords, so Kiba didn’t see anything unmanly about hiding anytime he did see Neji.
This guy though, one minute there was silence from his end with the occasional ‘Hn’, and then next he was muttering under his breath, and then he was talking quite loudly apparently to himself. Kiba had never seen this kind of reaction to alcohol before and at first found it amusing until he realised that everyone else had edged away and he was left alone to deal with him.
“So, Kakashi right? He tells me I have to look ‘Underneath the underneath’” The student used air quotes for the last remark. “And then he tells me I have to get laid, have you seen me? I get laid plenty, plenty! What kind of professor is he?!” The student hadn’t started slurring just yet but his appearance said something entirely different about his drunken state. A strange evolution of hair and clothing had occurred to this student, directly proportional to the amount he drank.
“Hey! Where’s my drink?” Kiba had decided enough was enough. He had been more than happy to leave this quite mentally disturbed student who appeared to have a too-close relationship/obsession with his professor to some of the fawning girls. Problem was this guy could rival Gaara in icy I-will-kill-joo glares. It was still early in the evening, students didn’t start their heavy drinking until much later, but still this guy was proving a little too much to handle, he heard learnt more about this dude than he cared for.
“Then there is that twit, freaking wears orange all the time. All the time. All the time. Okay once, he wore these jeans, right, with this black T-shirt, and I gotta tell ya, that was a little hot, okay a lot hot. Hot. Wow, is it hot in here?” Turns out the dude was also gay. Well that is just perfect; the guy is a melodramatic queen. Kiba groaned and was quite tempted to pour himself a stiff one.
“He’s been stalking me! I’ve been stalked before, but never quite so stupidly…” Kiba resigned himself to listening. Customers were rare on Monday nights because it was “Monday Mania Night” Students celebrate the wonder that was Monday by clustering in the various clubs that were 5 minutes walking/drunken stumbling distance from the university. Sighing for the umpteenth time and wishing he hadn’t covered for Shikamaru, he went back to wiping the mess on the table that his new favourite customer had created.
“So he comes up to me and goes ‘Wanna ********?’ and he’s got this stupid look on his face like he thinks he’s God’s gift to women…uh men.. mankind, whatever. Then he watches me. I could have sworn this one time he followed me into the bathroom!” The student turned to Kiba quite clearly expecting Kiba to be outraged for him.
Kiba nodded, put on his best sympathetic look and tried to make it seem like he was listening. This guy talks too fast; he could give Naruto a run for his money.
“…I don’t like blonds, they’re irritating, you know…” Kiba spaced out from the drunken ramblings and was slightly startled when the guy just passed out, head thunking hard on the table. Kiba was pretty sure he had monitored how much alcohol he’d served the guy.
He heard a few muttered grunts emitting from the student. Kiba sighed in relief; usually drunken students had friends to deal with them in all their refined glory. However sometimes he was stuck with the mess; being the newbie, he had to either chuck them out or attempt to sober them up.
“Mmm Uuuzuuuumakiiiii...” Right there and then, Kiba had a heart attack.
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Naruto had a lot of coursework. He had two essays due and a lab report to write up. The computer was on, his textbooks were open; it was going to be a long night. Currently he was teaching Akamaru the Macarena; loud music blasted from the stereo speakers hung on the walls as Naruto emphasized the swish of the hips to Akamaru.
“No, no, no, no, NO! C’mon Akamaru, gimme something to work with,” Naruto pouted when Akamaru lost all interest and presented his rear to Naruto. Feeling rejection well up inside him, Naruto shot back, “you know, sometimes you remind me of a cat!” Feeling a bit justified, he stuck his tongue out.
That queasy feeling right below his heart near his ribcage had returned. Naruto thought it may have been due to the fact that love from his c**k had started to spread upwards towards other body organs. It was more than likely due to heartburn resulting from the ten bowls of ramen he had scoffed for dinner. He was a growing boy of twenty one, he needed the nutrients ramen provided, and he just needed to eat a lot of it for said nutrients to add up.
Naruto scowled as his thoughts inevitably led to Sasuke. Kiba’s lame ‘stalk them and be fantasy guy’ plan was turning into moot. He didn’t quite understand this obsession with dark-eyed TA. All the girls and guys he had dated in the past had been happy people, they smiled and stuff. Normal people. It also hadn’t been this much of an effort to get into their pants.
His learning about Sasuke wasn’t going too well either. He had learnt, aside from the fact that Sasuke was a p***k, that he was a complete geek. He spent all his time in the library, the computer cluster rooms and the labs when he wasn’t covering lectures. The guy didn’t know how to have fun and seemed to be set on collecting the coldest, most condescending personality award. Probably has an icicle shoved too far up his a**. Hm would it feel good if it was only a little bit shoved in?
Naruto would have given up by now, but his c**k was still bent on having its way with Sasuke, even though he had stopped calling it ‘The Dagger’. Maybe it was the loneliness that he saw in Sasuke’s eyes and felt he could identify with. Naruto didn’t know, he was rarely a deep thinker and so dismissed the notion. Who was lonely? Naruto wasn’t.
Naruto flopped down on the couch, all ready to take a nap and then he could tackle that pile of work. He was just drifting off with happy thoughts about icicles when the phone rang. Having been startled awake from what looked to be a promising dream, he answered his mobile a little irritably.
“Whaaaaaat?” He whined. This had better be good.
“Yo Naruto, gotta make this quick, manager doesn’t know I’m using the bar phone, but first, how’s Akamaru?”
“Kiba, man, seriously, you know bestiality is illegal in most countries...” Naruto scrunched up his face as an unwelcome picture flooded his mind. “Oh man, images.”
“You know what; I’m not going to tell you. This is good. But still. I’m not telling you,” Kiba growled in response.
“Awww, Kiba, I was only joking,” Naruto started whining; “Here,” he held the phone up to Akamaru who happily barked into it.
“Ah ********, managers coming,” Kiba quickly whispered, “Sasuke’s at the bar, really drunk, come pick him up. Oh and don’t wear orange,” and with that hung up.
“Kiba wha…?” Naruto glanced at the screen and saw he was no longer connected. The words caught up in Naruto’s head. Sasuke. Drunk. Bar. Right. And huh orange?
Alright, this was his opportunity, he would show Sasuke just how great Uzumaki Naruto was and blow him away. Naruto giggled a little when the word ‘blow’ associated itself with the word ‘job’ in his mind. Akamaru started whining when Naruto gazed into space with a leer on his face.
Kiba had said nothing orange, but just about everything he owned was orange. Naruto was very single-minded, if he liked something, he loved it and then became thoroughly obsessed with it. This was how he found himself rifling through Kiba’s clothes, they were about the same size so he grabbed Kiba’s blue shirt and black jacket. Naruto wore his own jeans though. If Kiba was anything like him he probably had a tendency to go commando when he was all out of fresh underwear. As students and members of the male gender this happened all too often. As much as he loved Kiba, he had no desire to be that close to him.
All dressed and ready to go, just one little detail.
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Gaara opened his apartment door and managed to cross his arms over his chest in the same instant. He quirked an invisible eyebrow at the sight that greeted him. Naruto stood there trying to slip on a trainer onto his left foot while grinning awkwardly at him.
“Hey Gaara, erm I need a massive favour…” Naruto trailed off registering Gaara’s less than forthcoming look.
Silence.
“Erm, yeah, so you remember I told you about Sasuke right?” Naruto proceeded to babble something about a TA; Gaara wasn’t listening.
Silence. Nod. More silence.
“Well uh, I need to pick him up.”
Silence.
“I would walk it, but he’s a little out of it at the moment,” Naruto managed to finish putting his shoes on and his voice was getting increasingly desperate.
Silence.
“Can I borrow your car?” Naruto blurted, finally cracking under the pressure of the silence.
Gaara considered this request. Naruto was a good friend; well he was the only friend that didn’t flinch when Gaara spoke so that equated to good in Gaara’s mind. The red head watched as Naruto started to look slightly constipated.
Gaara turned and took Temari’s car keys. He didn’t trust Naruto with his car but Temari’s would do fine. Naruto grinned when Gaara handed them to him. Gaara sighed, sidestepped and turned to observe Naruto in a heap on the floor. “It’s the red one parked directly outside,” arms were crossed over his chest again.
Naruto hugged Gaara’s leg, scrambled up, yelling his thanks as he took off running.
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Naruto entered the bar and quickly scanned the area and saw no Sasuke. He spotted Kiba though. He walked over and nonchalantly leaned on the bar and whispered out the corner of his mouth, “well? Where is he?”
Kiba rolled his eyes at Naruto’s show of coolness; he smirked and replied, “who?”
Naruto’s look of indifference did a sharp turn and he spluttered “Sasuke! You know! Dark hair, really cute a** with an icicle stuck up it… wait; you don’t what Sasuke looks like! Why’d you…” Naruto trailed off in confusion.
“Relax, idiot. He’s sitting right next to you.” Naruto turned, observed the passed out student slumped over the bar and waved his hand dismissively. “That’s not Sasuke.” He proceeded to prattle about how Sasuke would never be caught dead looking like that and sure they had the same hair colour but Sasuke had these weird spikes not those curly looking things.
Kiba eyes took on an odd sort of gleam. “Look closer.”
Naruto squinted and his eyes widened comically. “What happened to him? What did you do to him? He’s all...” Naruto was lost for words as he observed the disheveled student that was giving off quite the stench of alcohol. “How much alcohol did you give him?” Now Naruto was quite used to being drunk and passing out, but this was Sasuke. With the little Naruto had learnt about Sasuke he knew that the TA was not the type. “Is he breathing? Kiba you killed him!”
“No Naruto, he just had a little too much, well he only had a little but he couldn’t really handle it.”
Naruto wasn’t listening he as he was too busy bemoaning the fate of his c**k. He would never be having sex again. Kiba reached over and grabbed Naruto by the scruff and just shook him a little and then shook him even more as he noticed something “Are those my clothes?!”
“Kiba, you killed my boyfriend, my future bride, I think we have bigger problems to worry about,” Naruto shot back dramatically while prying Kiba’s fingers off the shirt.
Both jumped when Sasuke stirred and made a moaning sound and then went quiet again.
“You see? He’s not dead,” Kiba said a little triumphantly.
“Whatever Kiba, if it was the other way round, and this was you and Akamaru, I would never have let this happen,” Naruto grinned after having detangled himself from Kiba and feeling it was safe to comment. He set about what to do with Sasuke. The blond poked him a little and no response. Sasuke was out cold. So he poked him a little more.
“Ah, I’ll guess I’ll take him home then? I don’t know anyone that knows him…” Naruto trailed off a little uncertain on how to proceed with this situation.
“You do that, remember Naruto you owe me, and try not to molest him while he’s out, that’s pretty close to necrophilia,” Kiba felt a little proud of himself for that one.
Naruto didn’t respond as he was busy attempting to lift Sasuke up, who had turned into a pile of bricks. Argh! For someone who looks so much like a chick he certainly doesn’t weigh like one. He hoisted Sasuke up and thought quite seriously about carrying him bridal style, until eventually heaving him up on his right shoulder securing him by wrapping his arms around the knees. He attempted to wave goodbye to Kiba who had been distracted by a customer but felt Sasuke slipping so settled for just leaving; Kiba would only tell him to make sure Akamaru was tucked in.
As Naruto walked out of the bar, one of the few students there wolf whistled which caused Naruto to grin and apparently an automatic reaction of reaching up and groping Sasuke’s a**. Right… necrophilia… wait till he’s awake.
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Naruto had parked the car quite close to the bar so it wasn’t too long until he was depositing Sasuke into the passenger side. This would have been simple enough if it wasn’t for the fact that the brunet had decided that instead of being bricks, he’d be completely boneless. Although this would have been quite annoying, Naruto ever the optimist and opportunist saw the bright side in that he could now have an excuse to touch more of Sasuke, then he felt guilty and made an effort to stop.
Having finally secured Sasuke he headed back to the apartment. The drive was quiet and uneventful, other than Sasuke occasionally flopping down onto Naruto’s shoulder. The third time this happened Naruto left him there wrapping an arm around him and driving one-handed. He felt quite suave in this situation, though it would have been better had Sasuke been awake.
On arriving home, Sasuke did his little transformation from boneless to bricks and this was why Naruto was stumbling up the stairs. God damned elevator had to be broken. Sasuke this time was being carried bridal style; he had woken occasionally to mumble/moan/grunt and then lost consciousness again. Naruto sighed. How sexy. That was until Sasuke had curled into Naruto’s body a bit more and clutched his shirt in a sweetly endearing way. Then Naruto was once again captivated by the slightly parted pink lips that were blowing warm puffs of air near his neck sending slight shivers down his spine.
Arriving at his door he shifted Sasuke in his arms and tried to open the door while still having both hands occupied. Sasuke was once again over the shoulder as Naruto fumbled with the keys. Finally entering the apartment Naruto laid him down on the couch and sat himself down on the coffee table next to it as he removed the TA’s shoes. He gazed at the sleeping man and felt his heart give a thump of approval. So maybe it wasn’t just The Dagger that liked Sasuke. Naruto had decided that if his c**k wasn’t willing to compromise then it would forever remain ‘The Dagger’.
Sasuke’s hair had somehow matted itself down around his face, Naruto reached over and moved it away so that he could get a better view and found that his hand had started caressing Sasuke’s slightly flushed cheek. Naruto watched in a bemused fashion as his hand, which seemed to have developed a life of its own, moved to rub a thumb along Sasuke’s bottom lip, then against the seam until it had worked its way inside the mouth. Huh, so now my hand is betraying me? Or maybe The Dagger is slowing taking control…
Naruto jumped when Sasuke moaned around the appendage and the blond quickly removed his hand. Sasuke seemed like the type to bite, and not in the good way either. Dark eyes opened and unfocusedly blearily gazed out at Naruto who was busy coming up with excuses as to why his hand was in Sasuke’s mouth in case the TA decided now was the time to be lucid. Naruto opened his mouth to say said excuses but Sasuke had simply sighed and turned his back on Naruto.
Naruto felt a bit gloomy at this negative sign until he allowed his eyes to wonder over Sasuke’s back where his once creaseless shirt had ridden up showing strong back muscles and more importantly the firmly muscled a** that was presented to him. Must not grope. Must not grope. Must not grope. Contrary to popular belief Naruto wasn’t completely a pervert, he recognized groping an unconsciousness person was wrong, oh so very wrong.
To remove himself from the temptation, he figured it was time get on with all that coursework. He really couldn’t afford to fall behind this side of the December exams. He gave a slightly wistful look at Sasuke and moved to his room where the computer was still on and the textbooks were still open. Looking at all his work reminded him that he still had Gaara’s keys, as an excellent procrastinator, he saw the opportunity and headed back out of the apartment.
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Gaara opened his apartment door yet again. People didn’t visit the Sand siblings. They learnt to keep well away. So Gaara was a little annoyed (slightly homicidal) about the fact that he had to move away from the piece of art he was working on, leave his zone and answer the door. Again.
Naruto stood there, again. With that grin that had some confused elements to it. However Gaara didn’t analyze, he just watched.
“Hi Gaara! I just wanted to you know give back your keys!” Naruto came across slightly false and high-pitched when something was bothering him. Gaara wasn’t one to evaluate this sort of thing because he didn’t care. Too much.
Silence. He held his hand open.
Naruto deposited them and started thanking him. On and on he went.
Silence. Perhaps Gaara should say something. Naruto didn’t usually babble this much. Maybe he would like me to kill someone for him.
Naruto had finished trying to fill in the silence. Now there was awkwardness.
“I will kill them for you” Gaara’s voice held a quiet murderous quality.
Naruto’s eyes widened. “Who? Ehehe Real funny Gaara…” With that Naruto clapped him on the shoulder before he could move away. Gaara’s murderous instincts increased slightly with the bodily contact.
Naruto by then had already said goodbye and returned to his own apartment. Gaara shut his door. Having murderous thoughts awakened in his head he decided the next person to cause him to move and leave his zone would be at the very least maimed.
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Sasuke woke as warm sunlight hit his eyelids and immediately regretted it. He was fairly certain that something had crawled inside his mouth and died there. With that pleasant thought the brunet struggled to sit up. This was too much movement for his stomach which immediately emptied its contents over his shirt. Sasuke grimaced, retched a little more and grimaced again. His next thought caused him to go into slight panic mode. Where the ******** am I? He moaned a little as his head swam when he tried to recall what had happened.
Sasuke looked around, there was no one around so having a bewildered facial expression was alright. He was in some stranger’s living room. On some stranger’s couch. Sasuke always kept his cool, however he had never been in this situation before and his panic mode that had elevated slightly now lowered again when he noticed all his clothes were still on, covered in his vomit yes, but still on. Having recovered his sense of smell, he discarded his shirt, and saw a horrible orange t shirt on the floor. Now is not the time to be picky. He pulled it on, it was slightly large on him but it would do.
He glanced at his watch. Half eight. He had a lecture to take at nine. Panic mode increased. The brunet located the exit to the apartment, and was half way out the door when he noticed his lack of shoes. Groaning more at his hangover than his stupidity he went back inside and scanned the room for his shoes. The living room was a complete mess, how he was supposed to find anything he didn’t know. There were cable wires of remote controls tangled on the coffee table, there was a disturbingly large poster of a bowl of noodles on the far wall and there were remains of takeout food everywhere.
Spotting his shoes near the couch he grabbed them without putting them on and turned to leave when he was met with a large growling dog. Eyes widened in alarm slightly as Sasuke backed away. However the dog only sniffed at his T-shirt and set about licking his hand. Sasuke tried not to think of the dog slobber all over his hand and concentrated on moving. Move. Move. Move. He was paralyzed with fear. This dog had very large canines which scrapped against his skin as it licked.
Sasuke managed to escape when an alarm went off behind one of the closed doors and the dog bounded away to greet its owner. Breathing a sigh of relief, he left, once he’d managed to get outside the apartment he set about making himself presentable. He didn’t have time to go home, and although his impeccable image was at stake he couldn’t just give the lecture a miss. Recognizing the area wasn’t too far from the university, Sasuke walked at a quick place while trying to collect memories of the night before.
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