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>.<

I hate when I feel depressed, I hate when I feel useless.

I wish that I could be happy, but it always seems so unattainable. And those rare moments when I do manage to grasp it, the feeling is so fleeting that I am left wondering if it truly happened.

Sometimes I think I'm simply not meant for happiness. Other times I wonder if there is anyone out there who is truly happy, or if the world is full of people pretending and supressing their discontent.

I hate this city, I can't seem to find my place in it. I feel lonely anytime Kevin isn't around, I feel listless and useless. I'm tired far too often because I work late and I dislike my job, the walk to work, I'm starting to dislike my coworkers. I wish I could wuit, but I couldn't put that sort of pressure on my darling. I know how it feels to be the only one making money for two, not enough at that. I know how it feels to have both working and have barely enough.

I don't want to go back to either. But I want to quit my job. Today, if I thought I could.