So I had a really odd experience this morning. I absolutely refused to wake up. Or should I say my dream self refused to wake up. I was...somewhere...in my dream with that boy with no face and no definable features, other than the fact that I can tell he's male. We were talking about something, though all the details are extremely fuzzy now. Every time I try to remember anything I simply start getting a headache and can't concentrate. But I do remember hims saying something about it being time to wake up and get ready for school and I out right told him no. I told him I was going to stay asleep and stay with him for a while longer.
I remember waking up with a jolt too...I shot straight upright...breathing heavy and I couldn't remember any details of my conversation with the boy except that part. I didn't think much of it right away...but I noticed today I felt....weak. Not emotionally or mentally, but I felt physically drained....and I hurt. Everywhere. In ways that I've never hurt before...as if I had been fighting...or sparring at the very least or had put a lot of strain on my body. And all that kept coming back to me was thoughts about that boy. No. Boy is such the wrong word for him....he's hardly a child.
*sighs* But I shouldn't worry over it....it's just a dream..
What right did Lucas have looking at me today? No....it was more than looking. He was STARING right at me. You do not...DO NOT stare at the girl who you've been ignoring for years. Especially not with that smug look on your face. It's just not right. IT'S NOT AND YOU CAN'T DO IT! Contempt and disdain...or fear and concern...I couldn't tell. Either way he shouldn't have looked that long, stared that long. I'm trying to move on....but how can I move on when images of him keep flashing. All those broken snapshots of his arms.
Thank goodness John distracted me and luffed me or I think I might have started to cry.
Actually...the crying would have been a welcome thing. I would love to cry ><
But the dream was all I really wanted to talk about...so I best be off for now.....being tired and all...
 Evelie Harte · Thu Oct 02, 2008 @ 09:01pm · 1 Comments |
