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so stargate atlantis has been cancelled
it was a tv show, on scifi chanel with steady ratings an loyal fans
and i rely on it obsesivly, something to talk about or watch alone
something to watch -alone- and be given the oppertunity to alternativly

scream
cry
beg
wish
hope
and ask stupid questions
make wild ascusations
fall in love with people i will never meet
feel pain for them
dream of meeting, talking, (sometimes kissing) understanding because you would feel like you knew them- becuase you do



realizing there could be more


all that would be taken away, all of the emotions i can usually let fly on my own at people who dont know me, who dont even really exisit!

they will go back to being bottled up inside, hate, anger, sadness at the things i cant control or no longer want to...back to being hidden under an impassive suface of sarcasum and fake smiles, false bravado masking a little girl who wants to ask

why?


but she know better, because what ever answer that is given will not be satisfactory, will not stop the pain or lessen the degree of loss that is felt in her heart-tearing at her soul

all this over a tv show

its really pathetic isnt it?