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Is it just coincidence that it rained while I slept? This morning I missed the rain and it got me down for a bit. When I went to the apartment I dolled myself up and wished and wished for it to rain for me. I dressed as a present for the sky and if they accepted they would return the gift by raining. It did. It rained perfectly. The hard rain was while I was in class. It was a nice steady to soft rain while I was outside. The rain is a gift. I walked around in it an hour after class and then went home where I then proceeded to take a nap. I am so lucky. It was not a coincidence.

I finally have some time and the clear mind to journal properly.

Since I just woke up I want a social setting. No one is home so I'm going to put in a movie and maybe have some soup. It's pretty common that I am not hungry. I eat anyways because I cannot allow myself to not eat. Inexcuseable.

Guys are dumb and lead with their dicks
Girls are cruel so they lead with their claws.

I'm so sick of p***y men. Those pathetic men who cannot decide or use certain phrases to duck under the radar. I am beginning to wonder if there ever is going to be a match worthy. It is almost as if I am slowly letting myself go into the Artemis archetype.

The Heart of the Moon Cannot Shine

There were three rulers. Elimindra, Axel, and Sakura but they have since been queens and kings in my world. They have devolved somehow into beasts of reason. They merely stand aside and pass judgement of analze what has happened. They no longer live in real time. It is strange to notice.

There is an inner voice in everyone that helps aid in the process of change or self-acknowledgement. Mine was Sakura Takachi long ago. She has since withered and died of poisoning. My blood is the poison she concemated in order to better know me and help. She failed. Chisai Yume presented herself and now I think she too is faltering. I wonder who will be next?

This inner voice is your key to talking to yourself. Everyone should talk to themselve in that they should try to figure out who they are. The inner voice preceeds reason and logic. It understands there is rational but leads with instinct. It is your more natural state and if you can manage to control and understand it you are able to become more powerful. Most people after understanding this part of themself try to move outside of themselves and into the world when they should be interacting with others with the new self because it is never enough. you cannot be the only judge of yourself and by looking into other peoples' strengths you can see how you still are imperfect. We may find perfection but it does take work and love. Devotion above all to self. If you cannot be happy for yourself you have no reason to be happy for others.