Chapter 7...
“I’m going to get some of those golden dumplings from my boyfriend at the restaurant.” Sah-mule’s mother put the yaoi book down. “He’s not your boy friend, mom! What the hell is a ‘golden dumpling’ any way!?”
The door to Sah-mule’s room opened. Foncé walked in with the gift bag hiding behind his back. The balloon bobbed over his head; giving away his surprise. Sah-mule’s mother stood from her chair; nearly tipping it over. She pointed a finger at Foncé. “Stab-!”
“ Don’t start! Go- get your-- your dumpling thingies!!”
Sah-mule fussed over her.
She walked out of the room avoiding Foncé while refraining from not glaring at him. “Sorry about that sexy.” Sah-mule winked. Foncé handed him the bag. “I hope you like it.” Sah-mule took out the black cat. “Meow.”
His eyes widened. “Um… thanks.” He pulled out the manga. “Loneliness? Volume seven! How did you know I hadn’t read this one yet!? I don’t think it’s even out on market yet. Thanks Foncé.” He smiled as he flipped through the pages. “I have a friend who has someone in the manga industry.” Foncé sat in the chair that Sah-mule’s mother was previously sitting in. The leather was stiff and cool- nothing like the plastic chair in his room. He felt so awkward now. Carolinia said he should be with Sah-mule, but can you just date a guy and call it love? For that matter… anyone? “What are you thinking?” Sah-mule arched a brow. Foncé shook his head. “I don’t know… perhaps irrationally… getting my emotions mixed with thought.. Never mind. I’m just a little confused-”
Sah-mule’s warm, soft lips pressed against Foncé’s. The smell of alcohol, the tight gripping force, and hatred was absent. All thought was lost.. He could only focus on the rhythm of Sah-mule’s lips moving against his in a memorizing fashion against his…. It was.. It… WAS WRONG!!! Foncé pulled away. “I’m sorry but,” He walked to the door. “I-I’m not gay!” He bit his lip and ran out.
The nurse abruptly stopped in front of him. “Oh! There you are! It’s time for your therapy.” She waited for Foncé to nod before taking him to the elevator. “Why do you look so nervous? The psychiatrist is really nice. He won’t bite, I promise.” Foncé smiled; he felt so fake. “The doors to the elevator opened and she lead him out. They passed several other rooms before reaching their destination. She looked into a small office and gently knocked on the door. “Dr. Paris? I’ve brought Mr. Le Cœur.”
“Oh, thank you Nurse Bell. Eh, Foncé please, sit down.” Foncé recognized the doctor at once. It was the same one that Carolina had called hot.
Dr. Paris ran his fingers through his long black wind blown hair. It slipped through his fingers like an anime’s hair. “What’s up?”
‘Do all psychiatrists say that, or is this one truly a quack?’
“You mean why am I here?” Foncé tried to avoid Dr. Paris’ eyes by looking around the room. He felt himself sinking into the soft ottoman. “Okay… we can talk about what ever you want!” Dr. Paris grinned.
‘Does he expect me to trust him so easily!?’ Foncé bitterly thought.
Dr. Paris leaned back in his chair; looking less hopeful. “Ah, not very trusting are we? That’s a good trait for a boy your age. Not something you see often.” He calmly said. Foncé looked back at Dr. Paris; able to make contact with his luscious green eyes. ‘Maybe he does know what he’s doing..’
“Here, let’s warm up by getting to know each other.” Dr. Paris suggested.
Foncé nodded.
“I’m Doctor Paris. I work here at the hospital as a physiatrist. Um.. I enjoy my job because I like helping people. I’m still young and even younger at heart, but I know what it’s like to have troubles from the past. From death, domestic abuse to- heh, relationship issues-”
“Then what do I do about gays!?”
Foncé blurted out. He felt his pulse strengthen in his wrist.
Dr. Paris looked slightly alarmed. “Is that the only problem you’re having?” Foncé loosened his grip on the chair. “I doubt it, but it’s the only one that really bothers me.” Dr. Paris sat forward in his seat. “So, what’s wrong?”
‘What’s wrong?! Is there anything wrong with being gay?’
“I have a friend who is gay, and I didn’t’ know he was until he kissed me. I’m not gay,” For some reason, he felt he needed to state that. “I have a personal reason why I can’t stand people touching me, even if they tell me.” Foncé didn’t feel like he was getting anywhere with this… was that what he wanted?
“Can you tell me why you have this personal problem of being touched?” Dr. Paris appeared more professional now than when they started session. “No.. I really shouldn’t.” Foncé looked down at his blood crusted shoes. “Well.. Why don’t you tell me about your self then, Foncé?”
‘Grrrr… more of this friendly crap? I’ll have to play along I suppose. Session shouldn’t last much longer.’
“I am Foncé Brisé le Cœur, French for Dark Broken Heart. I’ve lived with my father since my mother had died when I was two or three. I’ve recently moved to a new school from France and I don’t know if I like it yet. I’ve only made one friend…” He touched the cut that ran from his chest to his neck. “He’s thin only true friend I’ve ever had... and I almost killed him. “Dr. Paris’ watch started beeping. “That’s all the time we have for today,” He stopped the alarm by pressing a few buttons. He stood from his chair and smiled at Foncé. “I like you Foncé. You have a cute face too.”
‘Was that normal?! Just being human like alone? How do you respond to something like that?’
“Oh..erm.. Thank.. You…?” Foncé was too disturbed to even fake a smile.
Gratefully, he didn’t have to. Nurse Bell came into the office to escort Foncé back to his room. Carolina sat by her side; she didn’t look happy. “Hi Carolinia.” Foncé lightly said; waving, but she roughly approached him making a pout face. “I DON’T CARE IF HE’S YOUR QUAK TOO! I SAW DR. PARIS FIRST! He’s MMIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She playfully stuck her tongue out. The nurse gestured Foncé to the elevator.
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Foncé laid on his bed and stared at the cealing. What was he going to do about Sah-mule?
He closed his eyes……………… “Foncé? Dr. Paris would like to see you.” Foncé got up from the bed; feeling light and numb. He took the same route to Dr. Paris’ office as before, but didn’t really recall talking the long walk. He stood out side of the office… ‘what’s that noise?’
Foncé opened the door and screamed! Dr. Paris was making out with Sah-mule! The doctor paused and stared deeply at Sah-mule. “I’d never stab you… like a good friend.”
They went back to continue kissing passionately. Carolinia rolled her chair next to Foncé. “Dr. Paris!? This isn’t good yaoi!!” She shook her head and turned to Foncé with a distinct fire in her eyes. “So, if you can’t have him, neither of us can?! Is that why you paired him up with Sah-mule!?” Her furry faded in a sudden gust… her face lost all emotion.. It was blank and cold. “I would date you.. But….. You’re gay.” She rolled away; down the lightless hall where she disappeared into the dark shadows. Foncé whipped his forehead. It felt so wet and veraciously cold. He looked down on his hnd- covered in blood- blood!? “See how it feels to see your blood all over?” Sah-mule said casually strolling up in front of Foncé. “Do you know the pain?!” Sah-mule took out a knife, identical to the one he had given Foncé. “Do you know…. What it’s like to see… your own friend.. Try and take his own life?” Sah-mule raised the knife to his chest; not bothering to look at Foncé. He closed his eyes… sending the knife into his chest.
Blood went every where- clotting in Sah-mule’s black hair; painting everything near him red. Every thing…. Was silent… a frightening silence lingered in the air. All but a loud ringing in Foncé’s ears. He screamed in terror and hatred of his own self.. But there was not sound. Nothing could over come the impenetrable ringing.
Foncé took the knife from the puddle of blood that ran on the floor. He looked at Sah-mule; he laid so still. His face was blank, but his eyes still contained the inner pain that rendered his soul… it was practically heart breaking. He gradually brought the knife to his own chest. The sharp blade stabbed into his chest… it wouldn’t take much pressure to pierce himself with it. He felt a sudden anger; bearing his teeth he held back his tears. “I CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE!!!” Foncé forced the blade into his body……………………………..............
Foncé felt he was falling quickly from a short height, landing on to the sheets below. His heart pounded against his chest. Nothing made sense… it was a dream. He laughed at the dream. How foolish to think that what he dreamt could ever happen! Sah-mule doesn’t even know Dr. Paris…so… why did he scream when he saw them kissing?
Foncé couldn’t wait to tell Sah-mule! The dream was to strange to contain alone! He glanced at the clock. 2:37 a.m.!? Dammit!
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Sah-mule laid in bed; staring out the window at the starry night. One star in particular shined brighter than the rest. A bright white… Foncé’s soft white hair came to mind. Sah-mule thought about the night he stayed at Foncé’s house and slept next to him in the attic. He thought about the soft touch of his skin. How each tear touched his cheek for the first time… and died on his lips… his hair, lightly brushed over that mysterious scar.
Sah-mule considered himself being sneaky for taking advantage of Foncé’s emotions and cuddling with him as he slept… Sah-mule almost wanted to see Foncé cry again. He picked up the Loneliness manga book on the table. He flipped to a page with two boys kissing. A though bubble underneath the comic block read; “We are bonded by more than just love, but also… by fate…” Sah-mule sat the book back on the table. ‘Are people really bonded by fate? Could Foncé and I ever be bonded in any way?’ Sah-mule touched the scar on his chest. “I haven’t been scarred, but reminded that Foncé has come close to touching my heart and to taking my breath… literally."
