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I'm finally happy. My life isn't like a fairy tale that's for sure. If it was I'd be scared cause no matter what I do I end up never having my happily ever after. Well, I've looked for prince charming but if you ask me I don't really think prince charming is hot at all. Really he gallops on a horse wearing spandex....that's so sexy right? Well not for me. I don't like guys that are perfect. Besides I don't like preppy boys that are rich and all (( the rich part...maybe... Lol.)) but usually I base people on their personality. I believe a person's personality is way better than how they look. Well first I met this guy named Jesse. He was so perfect for me in everyway. But as the days go by we kind of forgot why we loved each other, it's like the bound we made broke into millions of pieces that will never be found. I always reminded him how much I loved him. Even though I know I'm clingy, I couldn't stop expressing my love for him. He didn't mind at the time. Sure he told me how he loved me to and it made me feel very special. I always questioned myself " Does he really love me, is he cheating on me, why would someone like him ever love a girl like me?" I never found out those questions till this day. But one day I decided I was going to go see him. I flew miles just to see him. On this wonderful day nothing can go wrong I thought. Heh, when I look back on this I realize how simple and pathetic I was... To think he'd love me. I called him the 3 day I arrived. I hung up in tears. He was put up with me. He didn't really love me. He just loved the drugs and pills he takes. I was crushed and barried myself in a pit full of hate and disappointment. I should have known better....

Days past....I felt nothing in my heart not even a simple spark of joy. While I was still in Texas. My friend Brad would usually talk to me occasionally but we haven't really been friends for the longest time ether. The same day Jesse did that to me Brad called. I was a little vexed with myself. I really didn't want to answer the phone but something told me to. I answered the phone and we talked for about 45 min. That night I felt something deep in my heart I don't know what it was but.. I felt kind of happy again. I didn't feel alone, I didn't feel pain. Everything was lifted off and I felt joy. I later on found out how sweet He was. He even let me wake him up early in the morning right before I flew back to California. The whole time I couldn't stop thinking of him. It was almost weird how I felt about him. I liked him as a friend and all but I wanted to be more. I really fell for him. With no doubt in my mind did anything about him made me think other wise. I tell him sometimes about how I liked him. He didn't really seem to believe me but I meant it with ever emotion in my heart. I loved him, yet I know that things could go wrong any minute and that being with him could corrupt our friendship. I felt as though I could actually trust him. Well I thought to myself just the day after we got together " Is this real, can this really be happening...what it he leaves me" I can't stop thinking about my statement on that and even till today is those questions running through my head. I hope he is the one... I really do. I'll love you always and forever don't you ever think other wise.

- Risa.

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