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I went back home to get my computer fixed cause it looked like it had a virus. When I got home, the virus wasn't there >.> Stupid F'ing thing. Guh. It hates me...

I had a wonderful time back home. I got to see my brother on his eighteenth birthday and play some more volleyball with everyone. That was cool. My mom and I finished up the top we had been working on a lot this summer but just as we were about to sew the zipper in, we found out THE BACK MEASUREMENTS WERE TOO SMALL T.T So all the frustrating work we had been doing was for naught. My mom says we can patch it though. Yay!

I have gotten really far on Reborn, I watched it a bit back home. I am now past episode 100 and am currently watching episode 113. They are in the other base now and it's pretty good. I need to go to the store and do laundry but my nerves are shot. I'm thinking of staying up all night to get rid of food and burn the nerves off. That way I can play more video games too >.< I started Tales of Symphonia again so I have been playing that in free time. I also need to take a shower and check if my classes changed at all.

I am scared. I am scared of many things. I am scared of my friends leaving me again. It is senior year for some and that means big changes in them. I trust them that they still care and that they won't but I can't kill the fear. It's a fear without solid reason behind it. Besides that, I'm scared for myself. I don't know if I can get into enough classes or get a job or even decide what I want to do in life. That is probably my biggest fear, that I will never move forward. I suppose I need to just trust that I can do it or that somehow I will find a way but it is hard. I know what a child I am. I don't know how long it'll take for me to finally ******** grow up...

It's freezing in San Francisco esp. compared to Roseville. I wish it wasn't so cold. I feel like I should be ten years old.