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Busy Busy Busy, Hahaha. Yup, we have our second midterms this week. I am going to be busy tomorrow working on English crap and studying a bit for Ethnic Studies? I think we have our quiz on Tuesday... ah well, I'll check before the time comes around. Lawlz. Tues I'm always busy. Wednesday Christy and I are gonna go to the ZOOOOOOOOOO! Haha! YAY! I wanna see the giraffes! >w< I also has my annual counseling appt. but I may cancel those depending on how she treats me this time... last time really upset me. Lawlz. Thursday I has vb agains. Friday I think I should go exploring to see if I can get the medicine ball cheaper or not and I'll prolly just zone out the rest of the day since I have another quiz in Anthro that day and sometime this week I have another animal diversity quiz.... dunno when about that either. I hope it's not tomorrow. I gotta check...

Hmm, it's a full moon already. It wasn't supposed to be a full moon till tonight offically but there was one on Halloween. Christy and I were watching it while talking that night. She came over like she always does. We watched CANAAN, which is AMAZING >w< and I need to finish it sometime soon <3 Cause it was AMAZING and we helped Jayme carve her pumpkin. I made a cute face and Christy made the eyes adorable. I has a picture >w< Hehe. She made pasketti for Jayme and me. It was really good. I hadn't eaten real onions in a while so it hit the spot. It was weird having my friend cook but really nice at the same time... I FELT LIKE ROYALITY >W< Hahah! Andrea and Christy spoil me. We had choco choco cake with strawberries and the frosting was kinda melted so it was like having chocolate dipped strawberries, which she adores. Haha! We got to talk a bit seriously before going to bed. I really treasure my friends. It's the most rewarding feeling to know or realize that you are treasured by them just as much if not more. We talked about marriage and guys and crap XD Haha! We never do that! Hmm, I still can't pinpoint what I really want in a guy but neither can a lot of people XD YAY!

I have the same kind of dreams as I always do, someone always abuses me. I've never had a history of abuse in my family or in my loves, other that one. It's strange that I would be haunted by that. I suppose everyone has some kind of theme that prevails through most of their dreams. I just would like to understand why I focus so much on that topic and how or what it means in my life. If it isn't an abusive lover, I get hit or beaten in a fight, or I almost get raped or kindnapped or insulted about something I worry about. Strange...

I felt like writing because it helps me calm down a bit and I'm kinda worried since I am so busy. I don't like to sleep much so I took a nap to try and convince myself to stay up all night... I don't think it'll work. I'm a little smarter than that, or so I like to think. Ugh. Imma gonna go play Zelda since I can't get it outta my head and I had a new file started. LAWLZ! I was so HAPPY! I mean thrilled beyond like belief to watch Christy play... she took a bit to get the hang of it but who doesn't.. when she did though, she did things I didn't expect her to be able to. She caught all three piglets and was even able to jump three platforms from Nico. AMAZING right? I have a feeling she liked the fighting with the baddies but the whole swordless and being attacked thing didn't go so well, I think that's one of those things that turned her away from it. But, it made me smile... not in a mocking way but a proud way. And we all know, Jen is a proud person.

I saw the Husky at Costco this weekend, I have a feeling that I won't be able to find it for a long time T.T I'm really worried. Like, it's a serious problem in my mind. You might laugh it off or think it's just a stuffed animal but ... to me, it's my girls. It's the people that I created. It's their grave. I can remember and celebrate them if they are contained in their vessels. They are very important to me and I cannot forgive any abuse to the animals. I am the only one allowed to hurt them as far as I know. Maybe later in my life there will be someone else but, no one really understands yet... even in my friends. I have been holding onto Spades a lot lately. She is adorable. I loves her. Spades and Mercury are my favorites (the giraffe and the cow). It's funny because even though they are dead, I can feel them. I can feel their feelings. I know which ones are lucky, happy, or sad. I even know when they are angry and kinda know why but normally not really. It's kinda like a way to look at myself. Haha! It's a way to see a deeper Jen.

Btw. I passed my Junior examination, the JPET. >w< Be proud of me! This means that I can take upper level classes once I get enough units to be considered a Junior. I need to go see a counselor for academic planning... maybe tomorrow? Ugh... Maybe....

I'm having a bit of trouble right now. A battle of sorts in my mind. I want to add Axel in my story of my character but... I know other people wouldn't like that. I know that it's MY story and I should do what I want but I also acknowldge that my friends are only concerned because it leads to me falling for him. Adding him kinda assures and enforces the fact that he is the true love in her life, my life. I know this isn't true but it is a fun fantasy. A bad fantasy to indulge. Bad Bad Bad Jen XD I've been really bad lately anyway xp Hehe

I'll prolly change my profile tomorrow or something. I got a lot of new songs and I'm sure I'll be able to find some videos. I'm pretty good at that...I need to take a shower, BAH DX I need one I need one. I need to workout more and watch what I eat again because I have been indulging a lot lately. I need to check upon Thanksgiving plans again. I need to check if I want to show off or not.... JEN JEN JEN IS BUUUUUSY and STRRREEEESSSSSSSED DX Hahah XD

"If you talk too much, my head will explode" is kinda how I feel a lot of people view my entries as of late... I write a lot at once. This is because of how flitty I am with writing and how much goes on in my life from week to week. Sure, days pass prety slowly and normally but at a week's glance, a lot happens. It's strange to me...

I still haven't tried to get the new scanner working, eh. No worries bout it though.

I've gotten pretty far in Haruhi, about episode 10 that they aired but it's the actual 4th episode in the series. They aired it all outta wack. I'd love to watch it in its intended order but for now Imma just watching it in the order they released it. It's okay... Not really all that entertaining. I find other series to be better. I just don't care for the whole High schooler thing. I think I'm past that and overdone after Azumanga. Azumanga was the ultimate high schooler anime. Or middle school WAHTEVER! <.> Don't care right now, they were in school or something! DX

Maybe it'll rain tomorrow. I doubt it but... you never really know. Lawlz. I should return my book too... I'm not reading it and I don't want anymore late fees. Ugh. I need to pay the old fees off. DX BUMMMER!

Hmm, interesing thing about me this week. Um, when I'm around Christy and Andrea I tend to act more girly. I act more big sisterly around my high schooler friends. I like to show them a good time and be wild but at the same time assure them that I'm there to protect them not be one of them. DX Kinda sad right? I don't want to be one of them. I don't think I ever did... With the other two I giggle and try out my stupid poses I learn from animes. Like that finger head tilt thing. It's ute and fun. Haha! I feel too weird using it with anyone else. That and I like to talk about things seriously with them that I don't like to talk about with anyone else like boys and school and such. I think I only talk seriously about mental problems with the younger friends. I kinda want to shut them outta parts of my life. I know I shouldn't but... I dunno. Maybe it's just a fleeting idea ^^ I hope so...

Thanksgiving is coming up. It's usually just an excuse for all my family to get together. Our cousins have always bested us at everything and I kinda feel like Thanksgiving is where we get a chance to show off to each other. We talk about what is going on in our lives and show each other how we have changed. If I lose a bit more weight and more muscle I can show off a nice figure even though I already have my average nice figure. I want a ROCKIN bod >0< HAHAHA! LMAOROFL! >.> No really... It's my one quality I feel that I can show off. Because I am one of the only girls it's really big that I get dressed up and my mom gets to help. I feel like it makes her proud to see my all pretty. -.- I am ....... I can't even say it XD HAHAHA! oh well.... I guess I can compromise and say I am pretty enough. ^^" Eventually I will be able to say it out loud. I can tell myself it in private but... I don't like hearing it from strangers or guys. I HATE WHEN GUYS TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE PRETTY! D< It PISSES ME OFF! It's like the only compliment they know... D< LAME ASSES. I'm just overly srtict on guys in general -shrugs- Ha.