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Me:
Yo!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
No, the question is, can I help YOU?
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? No thanks I'm just browsing.
Me:
Yeah! The names Axel, as in A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. I hear you. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
What the hell is a Milk Mystic? Some sort of a man whore?
God:
I call it Hades. I will try to find out. Some may sort of a man whore, but not all.
Me:
So, Hades is a Man Whore? Hot~
God:
Woe! Aren't all Man Whore Hades? That kind of discussion does not appeal to me.
Me:
The dicussion of Hades being a man whore? Dude! You were the one that said it!
God:
Tell me more. Can I help you? I was?
Me:
Yes, you was!
God:
When? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I was.
Me:
Y'know, what the ******** ever.
God:
You have to speak more clearly. .
Me:
I AM speaking clearly!
God:
I like your style of speaking, .
Me:
Heh, me too. Got it memorized?
God:
Funny, eh? I'm glad we agree, . Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
Y'mean Hades?
God:
You have to speak more clearly. .
Me:
Ya. Mean. HADES?
God:
Aha. Sometimes I say mean things. Are we still talking about The explanation?
Me:
No. And yes you are! Yet people say I'M an a*****e...
God:
What is the subject? No I'm not. Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Nope! And the subject is butt sex!
God:
Funny human. Sure, butt sex sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I'm not human, I'm a Nobody. So, you top or bottem?
God:
I won't fall for that old line. You are a Nobody? How do you like your work? Interesting deduction. That's good information: said I top or bottem.
Me:
I hate it! Xemnas never gives us breaks and I can't catch up on my beauty sleep! So, do you top or bottem?
God:
Why do you dislike it so much? Never? Blimey. No I do not top or bottem. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Yeah, Never! Xemnas is a b***h man! No, you can't not do both! When you have butt sex, are youn on top or on bottem?
God:
Woe! So you think it can never happen? When is Xemnas not a b***h man? Are you serious? I have free will you know. Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
Never, Xemnas is ALWAYS a b***h man! So...you top then?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I don't judge people. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I top.
Me:
Course you don't! Er, if you want... I top too.
God:
Are we still talking about Xemnas is ALWAYS a b***h man? " Are we still talking about Xemnas is ALWAYS a b***h man?"? If I want? Thanks for the information: said top too.
Me:
Yes, you should kill him. Set us all free. I totally top! Exsept when I let my little Roxy top me, but I like watching him scream my name, so I top most of the time.
God:
Gosh! Is that what you do, or what you think I should do? All? That's good information: said top. What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
I have a boyfriend named Roxas who I top. And yes, you should.
God:
What is his name? This was not a yes or no question. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
His name is Roxas! Cute little kid he is, most defently when he says I'm 'god'.
God:
he is not someone I know. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
I'm not sure, maybe.
God:
Could you ever be certain? I understand.
Me:
Good to know, dude! What's my name then?
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Can I help you? Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Hell no! My name is Axel! As in A-X-E-L! Got it memorized?
God:
7. OK I will call you Axel. I did not know that. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
Y'mean Hades?
God:
Reductionism. .
Me:
I'm into S&M.
God:
You are not the only one. I do like music. I like wine and bread.
Me:
I like watching my little Roxie scream.
God:
You are not the only one. Hmm, Axel, I'm not sure if I'd like to WATCH your little Roxie scream that much. What is it like?
Me:
It's great, a HUGE turn on! When he screams my name at the top of his lungs, god it feels good!
God:
What do you like most about it? And then what happened?
Me:
I like the way it sounds! Mostly when I know I'm causeing it! And then I would make him scream my name some more by putting him in handcuffs.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator. It's good to meet someone who is causeing it. What else? What would make you make him scream your name some more by putting him in handcuffs?
Me:
The sound of his screaming makes me do crazy things!
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Then you should try it sometime! Butt sex is great!
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Butt sex and screaming? Not really, but you can have both at the same time like I do.
God:
I do not understand. Oh really? No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Oh sure you can! Just find a nice a** to tap, tie them up, and then do the dirty work.
God:
Oh. It goes without saying. I think I can, don't you? Can we get back to business?
Me:
What business?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
Nope! I like this one.
God:
Me either. I'm not sure if I like it. I always enjoy my chats with human clients.
Me:
But, I'm not human. I'm a Nobody.
God:
I won't fall for that old line. You are a Nobody? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Kinda, a lot of them are asses though.
God:
Oh. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Yeah...Like Roxie!
God:
What do you do in your spare time? Interesting comparison.
Me:
******** Roxie.
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Yep!
God:
" Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?"? Yep?
Me:
Oh, I know people are reading this. I don't care.
God:
Tell me more. How do you know? They take some getting used to. Tell me what you care about.
Me:
I care about how good butt sex is with Roxie.
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I love TV shows about robots. I like .
Me:
Can robots have butt sex?
God:
No I don't think I have any butt sex. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
Do you know what butt sex is?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
And butt is?
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
So butt sex is?
God:
Alright then. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
So, you don't?
God:
Interesting deduction. I guess not.
Me:
Ok, so I guess I'll tell ya. It's when a guy shoves his member up another guys a*****e. Got it memorized?
God:
And? What kind of reply do you expect? Aw. Can't you be more polite. Try asking the Milk Mystic.
Me:
It's hot. A good one. Nope. I already did.
God:
Do you like warm climates? Compare that to a bad one. Me either. Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Well, I gotta go read some porn. Later!
God:
How about that. Bye. Sorry I don't have access to that document. Bye!
____________________________________
Recap!
I was pretending to be Axel. We talked about S&M with Roxas. And butt smex.